NAME: Djimon Hounsou (pronounced Jah-mon Hahn-soo)

AGE: 41

HEIGHT: 6' 4"

WEIGHT: Dunno

WHY SUSHI SHOULD BE EATEN OFF HIM: I feel like a broken record but Jiminy Crickets just look at the man! How man forty-one year olds do you know who look like that? That’s what I thought! Also, he has the sexiest voice ever. He’s so soft-spoken with that lilting Benin accent. My mouth is watering just thinking about it…

ON WHAT PART OF HIS BODY SHOULD YOU EAT THE SUSHI OFF HIM: Place a small piece of sashimi on his navel and wait for the fireworks!

WHERE SHOULD YOU BE WHEN YOU EAT THE SUSHI OFF HIM: At midnight in your back yard with your flood lights turned on with the Benin national anthem playing full blast on your stereo.

WHEN SHOULD YOU EAT SUSHI OFF HIM: When ever you damn well please! Or when he damn well pleases…does it really matter?

HOW SHOULD YOU EAT SUSHI OFF HIM: Slowly…savoring ever bite.

PROPENSITY FOR VIOLENCE: Very low. He’d only get crunk if you ignored him and really ladies, if you had all six feet, four inches of that hanging around the house at your beck and call how could you ignore it?

STALKER QUOTIENT: -100 (I admit I have a penchant for Africans but he’s much too sweet to stalk anyone)

SHOULD/COULD/WOULD YOU QUIT YOUR JOB FOR HIM: You could quit your job for him but why would you want to? He ain’t makin’ that much paper!

IS HE WORTH FIGHTING A BAND OF MARAUDING, NUNCHAKUS BRANDISHING REPUBLICANS LEAD BY THE VATICAN’S FULL SYNOD OF BISHOPS ON HORSEBACK WIELDING SOLID GOLD COPIES OF CANON LAW SHARPENED TO REALLY SCARY POINTS? Oh this is a tough one for me! Wow…Republicans and Catholics versus Sexual African Chocolate? Damn!

IF HE SHOWED UP AT YOUR DOOR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WITH A BAG FULL OF STOLEN BEARER BONDS AND A TEFLON COATED 9MM SLUG IN HIS CHEST, WOULD YOU. . .CALL THE COPS? DIG THE BULLET OUT? SLAM THE DOOR IN HIS FACE? GRAB THE BEARER BONDS AND THEN SLAM THE DOOR IN HIS FACE? OTHER? I know the chances of him surviving a bullet in the chest are slim to known but he’s just so damn fine! And we could have so much fun together with all that money if he were alive! But on the other hand he can’t be the only hot to death man from Benin right? Maybe I could use that money to bank roll a fact finding mission to the Motherland?

WOULD YOU HELP HIM LAUNDER SOUTH AFRICAN KUGGERANDS? Gurl PUH-leeeeeze! I am so there with the money laundering! And I wouldn’t even set him up to take the fall for the whole thing! Yes Sexual African Chocolate…come to Mama baby…

Mmmmm…I feel like a Shaka Zulu/Juba sandwich! – GD