Glamour Diva and galaxyMafia had the bright idea that it might be cool to chat with our Dear Listeners while we record our next podcast - New Zealand vs. France. So this Friday (October 12) at 7:35 pm Central Standard Time we will open up the chat lines, the email lines, the phone lines (OK maybe not the phone lines) and the Skype lines to anyone who gives a damn! That’s right, The Sushi Girls™ are going interactive! Woohoo!  This is your chance to become a part of our foolishness in ways you’ve never imagined. Or maybe you have imagined it? Look, just give us a buzz and we’ll go from there okay?  Solid!

Email: the_sushi_diaries@yahoo.com
Yahoo! ID: the_sushi_diaries
Skype (Internet call or chat): misssakamoto

Time Conversions
7:35pm CST=
12:35:00 a.m. Saturday October 13 in Greenwich Mean Time (GMT)
02:35:00 a.m. Saturday October 13 in Johannesburg
08:35:00 a.m. Saturday October 13 in Hong Kong
10:35:00 a.m. Saturday October 13 in Sydney
01:35:00 p.m. Friday October 12  in Samoa

Smooches,
Glamour Diva and galaxyMafia

Sigh. And I came home to this shit...

Poor, naïve, lonely, boring as fuck “Gary” got scammed by some Nigerians (Most likely men masquerading as women). Read on Dear Readers:

Ladies:

OK. To those who replied to our last e-mail, thank you. We must explain further what's going on with Gary. In the past year-and-a-half, we have received numerous suspicious deliveries from USPS, UPS, FedEx, and DHL with Gary's name and our address and those deliveries contained money orders and/or checks totaling [sic] tens of thousands of dollars and all those checks and money orders turned out to be either counterfeit and/or drawn from stolen or fraudulent accounts. Unfortunately, Gary cashed a couple of the phony money orders and sent the money to people in foreign countries and we had to take money from some of our investments and Gary had to sell his home computers and some of his electronic equipment to repay the bank for the fraudulent transactions and we had to include Gary's father's name in his bank account to make sure no more suspicious money orders or checks can been cashed and to prevent Gary from withdrawing money from the account without our knowledge.

We also received numerous packages from different merchants this past summer (containing electronics, mobile phones and/or computer-related equipment) delivered by the above couriers which were ordered with Gary's name and our address information and paid for with stolen or fraudulent credit card accounts. The police contacted us telling us about the above occurrences and we then refused the deliveries when the items were delivered. We had several confrontations with Gary concerning these occurrences and Gary said that people he contacted through the internet and met through Yahoo Personals had probably done the above actions.

We discontinued our internet service at home which is why he could only chat online at his workplace, go on the internet at his workplace or at a public library, and he had to get a new e-mail address. The ID's/screennames/e-mail addresses RichardsGary@aol.com, Gary3rd2004@yahoo.com, and the Yahoo Messenger ID's _____-______ -______, '_______-_______-_______', and 'yp_Gary_catilina' are all now available to police departments and law-enforcement agencies around the world in an attempt to track down and punish the perpetrators of the above actions.

Gary's former internet contacts ______ ______ (________2@yahoo.com), ______ ______ (Gary4_Ojugbele@yahoo.com), and _____ ______(Ojugbele_____@yahoo.com) have offered to help us out by contacting some police contacts who specialize in internet scams and have connections with U.S. and international law-enforcement agencies to help us track down and punish the people responsible for perpetrating the above criminal activities.



In fact, as of today, Gary's e-mail address/ID Gary_Richards3_2010@yahoo.com will also be made available to U.S. and international law-enforcement agencies and police departments since some of Gary's contacts through this e-mail address have been involved in similar activites[sic].

A couple of you have commented that our actions were 'immature' and 'a violation of your privacy'. However, since Gary lives in our home and is partly dependent on us financially (since he has a low-paying job) and we have had much suspicious activity going on here in the past year-and-a-half and Gary hasn't been cooperative when we confronted him concerning the above suspicious activities, we had to open all of Gary's mail at home, check his phone messages, and check his e-mails when we visit the local public library (remember that we discontinued our internet service at home). Some of our other family members (and their spouses) had to check his instant messages on Yahoo and AOL/AIM instant messengers using their computers and using ALL of the above ID's/screennames (they have changed all the passwords and security questions to make sure Gary no longer has access to any of the above ID's/screennames/e-mail addresses).

Again, thank you to everyone who responded to our last e-mail and we hope you all understand why we took the actions we did. If any of you have any questions or knowledge concerning these matters, please feel free to e-mail us at the e-mail addresses below and/or write us at the address below. Have a nice day.

Respectfully,
Gary Q. Richards, Jr. and Elaine B. Richards, Parents of Gary Richards III
10 Victoria Drive, Catalina, Maryland 10000 United States of America

And then we have:

Greetings,

Once again you both, Gary's parents, are clueless in regards to respecting others privacy.I have low tolerance , extremely low tolerance for immature actions such as these. Gary , if I am not mistaking, is an adult male over the age of 18, If you are are seeking to humiliate Gary by telling ALL of us his business the only humiliation administered would be to yourselves. When I get married & have children I pray that they do not end up like Gary nor do I end up like you all. Yes, I am highly irritated because you both,as his meddling , enabling parents, do not know how to leave well enough alone. When Gary PM's me I ignore him.. simple. Any male in his 40's living at home with their parents is not one I would care to get to know on any level. You all assume you are doing this as a favor and in some way helping Gary but really you are showing why he is as pathetic as he is. He was raised by two pathetic individuals! If you take offense to my tone , I do not care b/c I asked not be contacted any further. I have NEVER sent Gary anything nor will I. Gary has called a few times almost a year ago but I did not talk to him.

I am going to ask you one last time not to contact me in regards to these childish , pathetic events. I do not care what happens in this situation. You may want to ask God to guide you all in making the best choices. As parents , You need to ask yourselves why are you allowing a grown male to live in your home unless he taking care of one or both of you. I can not understand why anyone would just accept "free" money through the mail.HELLO ... Get a clue! Free Items ... are people really this guillable[sic]? Someone was NOT using the common sense that God gave them. In my humble opinion , I think it is time that you do implore logic AND common sense. If I am contacted again , I will report all of you to Yahoo for harrasment[sic]. I will be PMing Gary to let him know Do NOT EVER contact me again!!! Have a blessed New Year.

Extremely Annoyed,
J. Danielle

P.S. Disconnecting the internet was a step in the right direction but why not change the locks in the process if he is abusing your home? Just a thought ;-)

Well she told them didn’t she?!?!? LOL I know I really should block all these ig’nant people from my email but I can’t help wondering what new foolishness they’ll come up with next? I’ll keep you posted Dear Readers! – GD


Cute drawing found here

0 Comment

Ain’t this some shit?

A couple of days ago I got this very odd email:

Hello Ladies,

Let us introduce ourselves. We are Gary Richards Jr. and Elaine Richards, parents of Gary Richards III whom you have had a long correspondence with by e-mails and instant messages.

We are happy that Gary seeking some new friends through the internet...However, at this time, Gary is low on money and, because of this reason and because of the upcoming Holiday season, he will be unable to send any money at this time (in case you need money sent). If you want to talk to us about your relationship with Gary and/or your future plans, please do not hesitate to call us at (009)(1)(301)555-5555 and we'll be willing to get to know one another much better.

We hope to hear from you very soon.

Sincerely,
Gary Richards Jr. and Elaine Richards

At first I didn’t really understand what the hell this email was about (Sometimes I can be very slow on the uptake) but then it hit me; “Gary” is a guy I used to chat with months ago, before I started back working full time. It was never that deep of a relationship. Especially not deep enough for him to be giving me money! For the record, Ms. GD does not take money (Or rent, clothes, jewelry, durable goods, etc.) from men! The last man she took money from was her father and the only other man she will ever take money from in the future will be her husband! Anyway, I decided to just ignore this shit as I wasn’t speaking to the dude anymore (He’s boring as fuck and can only chat online between the hours of 4:30am and 6:30am) and that it simply did not apply to me. But then I got this email:

Greetings,

I am responding to this e-mail because I am trying to understand the purpose of it. Though you state why you sent this e-mail, I wonder was it necessary. In the future please do not send me e-mails of this nature. I barely speak with Gary now and after this e-mail I doubt it will ever increase. I think sending an e-mail of this nature is immature as well as a violation of our(all these ladies) privacy. I pray that you and yours have a wonderful holiday season!

Sincerely[sic],
June Danielle

When I read the previous I thought, this is some messed up, ghetto shit and why have I inadvertently been hemmed up in it? I decided I’d better email Gary and let him know what the fuck time it is but before I could do so I got the following email:

Dear Glamour Diva,

I learned late yesterday that my parents sent you an e-mail. I don't know how they got your e-mail address (they may have checked my old e-mail addresses and I thought I removed you from my old address book but apparently haven't) but I was very displeased (to say the least!) when they did this. This is an invasion of your privacy as well as mine and I'll try to find out how the heck they got your e-mail address.

Anyway, I wish you Happy Holidays and Seasons Greetings!!!

Truly,
Gary

Okay so all beef has been officially squashed but it has left a bad taste in my mouth so I am deleting “Gary” from my email and Yahoo! Messenger contact lists. I honestly do not need this sort of drama in my life yo!


And you wonder why I’m chomping at the bit to get the hell out of Houston? JEEEEEESH! – GD

I’ve had some interesting conversations on good old Yahoo! Messenger. Not all of them have been insane but the vast majority of them have been and here are two examples of the mass ignorance of Men who use Messenger for hookups. [Remember, all Yahoo! ID’s have been changed to protect Ms. GD’s privacy]

Computer Lust:

Idiot 1 – 12:26 PM
hi there

Me – 2:02 PM
hi. who are you?

Idiot 1 – 2:02 PM
great and you

Me – 2:03 PM
i'm good thanks but i asked "Who" are you.

Idiot 1 – 2:03 PM
sorry, I'm _______________ and I live in League City

Idiot 1 – 2:03 PM
I work in the Medical Center

Me – 2:05 PM
hiya _______________. are you a doc? nurse? other?

Idiot 1 – 2:05 PM
other

Idiot 1 – 2:05 PM
IT Manager

Me – 2:06 PM
ah! a computer geek? lol

Idiot 1 – 2:06 PM
lol

Idiot 1 – 2:06 PM
what do you do?

Me – 2:06 PM
student/clerical

Idiot 1 – 2:06 PM
ok

Idiot 1 – 2:07 PM
are you open to meeting and getting to know each other?

Me – 2:08 PM
depends. are you a serial killer?

Idiot 1 – 2:08 PM
lol, no

Idiot 1 – 2:08 PM
but serial horny

Idiot 1 – 2:08 PM
don't bring your cat

Me – 2:09 PM
oh brother...

Idiot 1 – 2:09 PM
lol, you said it.

Me – 2:13 PM
well i'm not looking for sex but thanks for your interest!

Idiot 1 – 2:13 PM
sorry to bug you

Me – 2:14 PM
you aren’t buggin me. just not looking for random sex.

Idiot 1 – 2:14 PM
lol, cool

Me – 2:18 PM
yes...i am

Me – 2:22 PM
you're handsome! are you dating all those women on your profile?

Idiot 1 – 2:23 PM
no

Idiot 1 – 2:23 PM
none of them. lol

Me – 2:24 PM
aawwww man! and here i was thinking you were a stud!

Idiot 1 – 2:24 PM
lol, not at all

Me – 2:25 PM
maybe that’s why you're so damn horny? lol

Me – 2:29 PM
well Mr. Idiot I wish you luck with your search for some good lovin'. I'm off to take a wee nap. bye-bye!

Idiot 1 – 2:32 PM
sorry, I had to step away

Idiot 1 – 2:32 PM
bye bye

Trolling For Sex On A Cold Sunday Morning:

Idiot 2 – 11:32 AM
hi there...what part of houston you in??

Me – 11:33 AM
___________ area

Idiot 2 – 11:33 AM
okay...i'm on west side..

Me – 11:33 AM
ok

Idiot 2 – 11:34 AM
well..I don't want to get zapped by your bad cat now also..

Me – 11:35 AM
and why would you? unless you're a horny SOB just out lookin for sex?

Idiot 2 – 11:35 AM
LOL.....ahhhh.....well...some of that is true I suppose too...

Me – 11:36 AM
just some? lol try ALL!

Idiot 2 – 11:36 AM
LOL...well...not a SOB for sure....

Me – 11:38 AM
ok so you admit to being horny and only interested in sex? particularly anonymous sex with easy women you find on yahoo?

Idiot 2 – 11:39 AM
not necessary in all of that...but yes...seeking a lady friend for some adult fun times also.....not seeking every and all women too..

Me – 11:39 AM
you're very naughty...LOL and horny

Idiot 2 – 11:40 AM
LOL...well....you might be right too...

Me – 11:41 AM
uh huh...well good luck with all that. there are plenty of women out there who fit the description of what you're looking for.

Idiot 2 – 11:41 AM
ohh there are huh....they must be hiding too...LOL..

Me – 11:42 AM
nope. just waiting for you to ask i'm sure! LOL there are lots of women with low self-esteem just waiting to be rolled in the hay! LMAO

Me – 11:43 AM
i should stop teasing you...LOL

Idiot 2 – 11:43 AM
LOL...wow...you make it sound like such a joyous occasion too...by the way...I'd like more than a 1 time roll in the hay too...

Idiot 2 – 11:44 AM
teasing never hurt anyone...but pleasing is much more enjoyable too..

Me – 11:44 AM
oh for heavens sake!

Idiot 2 – 11:45 AM
what???

Me – 11:46 AM
That last line was kinds cute and lame...in an old school sort of way. well this fat girl is keeping for panties on so once again i wish you luck sweetheart!

Idiot 2 – 11:47 AM
LOL...well...we can always slide the panties to the side as we roll in the hay too...LOL...well...I'm kinda old school since I'm 47...LOL

Me – 11:47 AM
LOL no.

Idiot 2 – 11:47 AM
thanks for your time and wisdom then dear...

Me – 11:48 AM
bye! have a great day love!

Idiot 2 – 11:48 AM
you too.....wish my key unlocked your secret box too...

Me – 11:49 AM
well as the saying goes...if wishes were horses...

Idiot 2 – 11:50 AM
LOL.....guess so....never heard that one though...
I could make noises like a horse if that would help you too...LOL

Me – 11:53 AM
LMAO! That's tempting but no. Would I have to get naked or get naked and fuck you? On second thought never mind. I'll just go back to bed and masturbate and think about the possibilities. safer that way ya know. Bye! Later! Have a great day!

Idiot 2 – 11:54 AM
LOL...well....we both could be naked and masterbate in front of each other then too...LOL....but I'm not hung like a horse now either...hope that doesn't blow away your thoughts now...LOL

Me – 11:55 AM
no but you've given me tons of pre-masturbatory fantasy fodder so I thank you! Once again, BYE!

Idiot 2 – 11:56 AM
LOL...leave you smiling without any sex...what a guy I am...LOL..

Idiot 2 – 11:56 AM
there are those things called condoms too...

Idiot 2 – 12:00 PM
you should tell me more about your lovely self and hot masterbating body too...

Wasn’t that special? Gotta love a horny ass man right? It would help if he were hot, sexy and smart but as my Grandmother Diva used to say, that would be too much like right! – GD

Cute pic found here

0 Comment

I’ve had some interesting conversations on good old Yahoo! Messenger. Not all of them have been with bloomin’ damn idiots . Some of them have been pretty sweet actually. I’d like to share two of these conversations with you in tonight's entry. Remember, all Yahoo! ID’s have been changed to protect the sane.

FerrumSimian:
Glamour Diva 8:21 PM Hello FerrumSimian! This is Ms. GD from Sex and the Sushi blog. Thanks for stopping by the blog and leaving those delicious comments! I love your poetry too; I especially like the ode to Sade. I’ll be checking your site often as I hope you’ll be doing the same for us. Tell all your friends! BTW, you’re pretty cute too…
FerrumSimian 8:22 PM hi
FerrumSimian 8:23 PM us?
FerrumSimian 8:23 PM how many are you?
FerrumSimian 8:23 PM your welcome about the comments
Glamour Diva 8:24 PM lol yes we are all in Texas and there of 3 of us but only galaxyMafia and I write.
FerrumSimian 8:24 PM i see cool
FerrumSimian 8:25 PM love your blog
FerrumSimian 8:25 PM very entertaining
Glamour Diva 8:26 PM thanks! we aim to please. well actually we don't. lol we just like to bitch
FerrumSimian 8:28 PM
Glamour Diva 8:30 PM you like that huh? women who write to get their frustrations out turn you on? naughty boy!
Glamour Diva 8:31 PM we read too! we're very literate chicks. does that do anything for you?
FerrumSimian 8:32 PM lol
FerrumSimian 8:32 PM how old are ya'll
Glamour Diva 8:33 PM LOL we dont tell our ages but let's just say we remember when Atari was the height of video game technology.
FerrumSimian 8:34 PM oh, so you're close to my age
Glamour Diva 8:36 PM true. so if i told you that in addition to reading and writing that we also dig PBS and NPR, would you fall madly in love with us? lol
FerrumSimian 8:37 PM PBS? public broadcasting service
FerrumSimian 8:37 PM npr?
Glamour Diva 8:38 PM yes public broadcasting and npr is national public radio
FerrumSimian 8:39 PM oh ok
FerrumSimian 8:39 PM lol
FerrumSimian 8:39 PM i'm not much of a tv buff?
Glamour Diva 8:40 PM but you do own one right? please tell me you arent one of those people who don’t own a tv? LOL you have a radio?
FerrumSimian 8:41 PM yep i own a tv and i have cable!! radio yep but i prefer my ipod
Glamour Diva 8:43 PM well you're doing better than me. i don’t have cable and i dont want it. i don’t own an ipod but i do have a mac
FerrumSimian 8:46 PM i don't watch alot or regular tv so
i gotta have cable. i watch alot of court tv, discovery channel and hbo shows like sopranos, the wire, ect.,....
Glamour Diva 8:48 PM i saw 1 sopranos episode and i didn’t like it. never seen the wire
FerrumSimian 8:49 PM well i'm about to hit the sack, texan
FerrumSimian 8:49 PM nice chattin' with you
FerrumSimian 8:49 PM i'll definitely be checking out your blog
FerrumSimian 8:49 PM just for the record..
FerrumSimian 8:49 PM ...sushi is dayum good!
FerrumSimian 8:49 PM i'd eat it everyday if it wasn't so
expensive
Glamour Diva 8:50 PM LOL thanks again, good night and point taken on the sushi!
FerrumSimian 8:50 PM
FerrumSimian 8:50 PM sleep well
Glamour Diva 8:50 PM u2
FerrumSimian 8:50 PM all of you..lol
FerrumSimian 8:51 PM oh wait send me the link to your blog
FerrumSimian 8:51 PM i thought i had it in favs and I don't
Glamour Diva 8:52 PM sexandthesushi.blogspot.com
Glamour Diva 8:52 PM now to bed with you!
FerrumSimian 8:53 PM yessum, ms gd (golden diva?)
Glamour Diva 8:53 PM glamour diva...ms. gd if ya nasty
FerrumSimian 8:53 PM lol...ok ms gd it is
FerrumSimian 8:53 PM g'nite
Glamour Diva 8:54 PM night!

PuppyLuv (my Canadian friend):
Glamour Diva 2:56 PM
hey! i heard you were bringing sexy back. what's all that about? LOL
PuppyLuv 2:56 PM lol huh
Glamour Diva 2:57 PM its a justin timberlake song. in it he sings that he's bringing "sexy" back
PuppyLuv 2:57 PM oh
Glamour Diva 2:57 PM how are you babe? hows life? where ya been hindin yo sweet self?
PuppyLuv 2:57 PM just here
Glamour Diva 2:58 PM chillin like a villain?
PuppyLuv 2:59 PM jellin like a fellin
Glamour Divab3:00 PM LOL okay baby! i like that!
PuppyLuv 3:00 PM
Glamour Diva 3:00 PM how’s the fam? the parental units and the baby sises doing ok?
PuppyLuv 3:01 PM meh they are around
Glamour Diva 3:02 PM you not speaking to them?
PuppyLuv 3:03 PM of course i am
Glamour Diva ☺
Glamour Diva 3:03 PM ok just checking. so how’s your cock?
PuppyLuv 3:03 PM he’s fine haven’t hung out with him much lately
Glamour Diva 3:04 PM lol damn. have u 2 parted on bad terms?
PuppyLuv 3:04 PM no just haven’t been spending a lot of time with him
Glamour Diva 3:04 PM may i ask why?
PuppyLuv 3:04 PM meh no idea
PuppyLuv 3:04 PM just haven’t been horny
Glamour Diva 3:05 PM damn. you aren’t sick are you? LOL i may have to come up there and "take care" of u...
PuppyLuv 3:05 PM i would love you to
PuppyLuv 3:05 PM not really sick no
Glamour Diva 3:06 PM i'd like to as well but... i missed chatting with you
PuppyLuv 3:13 PM i have to
PuppyLuv 3:13 PM its been to long
Glamour Diva 3:13 PM you have anyone you can call?
PuppyLuv 3:13 PM call about what
Glamour Diva 3:15 PM getting you laid
PuppyLuv 3:15 PM lol i'm just not horny
PuppyLuv 3:15 PM i got laid a week and a half ago
Glamour Diva 3:17 PM REALLY! well you didn’t tell me that! why you holdin out? i like to hear about you fucking 'cause you know...i don’t. lol was it good! what was she like? did she scream?
PuppyLuv 3:17 PM no i didn’t cum she did three times
PuppyLuv 3:17 PM it was really bad actually
PuppyLuv 3:17 PM like making love to a really loud pillow
Glamour Diva 3:18 PM LMAO!
Glamour Diva 3:18 PM damn. you poor thing
Glamour Diva 3:19 PM why do you think you didn’t come? thinking about me? lol
PuppyLuv 3:19 PM she was just really bad
Glamour Diva 3:20 PM wow. where do you find these women? so how was she bad? i dint think men every though women were bad in bed. what did she do or i guess didn’t do?
PuppyLuv 3:21 PM oh women can be very bad in bed
PuppyLuv 3:21 PM she wouldn’t shut up she kept screaming and moaning and i didnt get why
PuppyLuv 3:21 PM i was hardly touching her
PuppyLuv 3:21 PM and she kept pinching my nipples for no reason
PuppyLuv 3:21 PM and just laid there
Glamour Diva 3:22 PM damn! i know its not funny 'cause you had such a bad time but it is kinda funny babe
PuppyLuv 3:23 PM it’s ok
Glamour Diva 3:23 PM
maybe she was pinching your nipples 'cause she thought you liked it?
PuppyLuv 3:23 PM maybe
Glamour Diva 3:23 PM did you try putting her on top?
PuppyLuv 3:23 PM oh my god and she was just horrible at bj’s i just stopped her half way through i had had enough
PuppyLuv 3:23 PM tried to but she didn’t
Glamour Diva 3:24 PM so what was she doing with bj? using her teeth?
PuppyLuv 3:24 PM no just like nothing
PuppyLuv 3:24 PM like her lips were loose and just moving her head up and down
PuppyLuv 3:24 PM doing nothing i didn’t ever feel a thing
Glamour Diva 3:26 PM i feel so sorry for you. you have bad luck with women
PuppyLuv 3:26 PM yeah i do
PuppyLuv 3:26 PM after about an hour i just stopped and started watching myth busters lol
Glamour Diva 3:27 PM it’s really hard to tell with women tho. She may really have enjoyed it or she may have been faking it.
PuppyLuv 3:27 PM well i was "down" there for two Os and it wasn’t faking then
Glamour Diva 3:28 PM lol
PuppyLuv 3:28 PM don’t know about the last one
PuppyLuv 3:28 PM i don’t see why she would
PuppyLuv 3:28 PM because i was clearly not enjoying it
Glamour Diva 3:28 PM LOL
Glamour Diva 3:32 PM so what’s next? gonna call her again and try to work it out?
PuppyLuv 3:32 PM fuck no
Glamour Diva 3:33 PM LMAO! ok babe
Glamour Diva 3:35 PM try, try again...
PuppyLuv 3:37 PM i will
Glamour Diva 3:38 PM that’s good to hear! well my sweetheart i am gonna take a nap. you have a great day ok?
PuppyLuv 3:40 PM ok you to hunny
Glamour Diva 3:41 PM :*
PuppyLuv 3:41 PM kisses

Goodnight Mrs. Calabash, where ever you are! – GD


Cute comic found here

1 Comment

I started this entry earlier this morning as I was watching Bob Ross (R.I.P.) on The Best of The Joy Of Painting but as I listened to his calming voice the piss and vinegar soon left my body and all I wanted to do was sleep. Well now I’m awake, refreshed and ready to bitch about the farkakte men in my life! So if it please the court, I give you Exhibit C in the trial of Humanity vs Idiot Men Folk (Click for Exhibits A and B ). Like to hear it, here it go…

August 30, 2006
Philipp The Idiot:
so i guess the magic is gone today
Glamour Diva:
why do you say that?
Philipp The Idiot:
because it is
Glamour Diva:
you dont want to talk to me anymore?
Philipp The Idiot:
seek immediate medical help if you experience an erection lasting longer than 4 hours
Glamour Diva:
you have an erection?
Philipp The Idiot:
no
Philipp The Idiot:
you?
Glamour Diva:
no
Philipp The Idiot:
then i guess we're good for now
Philipp The Idiot:
let me ask you something else
Glamour Diva:
lol you are angry because i said no sex. i lost a potential date because of that
Glamour Diva:
ask
Philipp The Idiot:
you lost a potential date? which one?
Philipp The Idiot:
i hope it was not july 22
Glamour Diva:
Why?
Philipp The Idiot:
no particular reason
Glamour Diva:
ok that was random and strange...
Philipp The Idiot:
Yes. such is life
Philipp The Idiot:
i know another joke you won't like
Philipp The Idiot:
but first let me ask you that question
Glamour Diva:
anyway, it was very sad because we had good chemistry and shared interests but when i wouldnt have sex with him right away he dumped me
Philipp The Idiot:
you won't have sex with me
Philipp The Idiot:
but what about letting me touch your boobies?
Philipp The Idiot:
well, some of the most loving people have just had enough of all the negativity
Philipp The Idiot:
it doesn't mean they don't love you anymore
Philipp The Idiot:
they just choose not to hang out with people who project negativity
Philipp The Idiot:
i obviously don't know if that was the case with your date
Philipp The Idiot:
but it's a possibility
Glamour Diva:
why cant you take the time to get to know me first? you see this what i'm talking about. this is why i stopped dating because all the men want sex right away! no one wants to spend time learning about the other person! and it is NOT negative! why is not having sex on the first date negative???? I DONT UNDERSTAND THAT MODE OF THINKING?????
Philipp The Idiot:
very simple
Philipp The Idiot:
having sex won't hurt you
Philipp The Idiot:
it will bring pleasure to the man
Philipp The Idiot:
by denying it to him, you are taking away his pleasure for no obvious benefit
Glamour Diva:
so i should have sex with any man that wants to have sex with me because it will bring him pleasure?
Glamour Diva:
are you fucking serious?
Philipp The Idiot:
well, that's the theory of love
Glamour Diva:
and i should ignore my feelings?
Philipp The Idiot:
i'm never really serious anymore
Philipp The Idiot:
it depends on what you call feelings
Glamour Diva:
so if i want a lasting relationship, if i want a husband and kids i should just ignore all that and let men use me for their pleasure?
Philipp The Idiot:
nobody can tell you what you should do
Glamour Diva:
you are!
Philipp The Idiot:
really
Glamour Diva:
you are telling me that the reason i cant get a date/cant keep a man is because i am too negative about sex!
Philipp The Idiot:
i'm just explaining to you how paradise people see it
Glamour Diva:
right...
Philipp The Idiot:
i never said you can't get a date
Glamour Diva:
ok i have to go now
Philipp The Idiot:
wow
Philipp The Idiot:
you have obligations quite late in the day
Glamour Diva:
no i just dont want to talk to you anymore. you've upset me.. have a great evening philipp!
Philipp The Idiot:
that reminds me of plato
Philipp The Idiot:
the allegory of the cave
Philipp The Idiot:
i'll get started with my work then

What, Dear Readers, in the hell was this fool flapping his gums about? If you can decipher his shit then please let me know! After that conversation I was so upset that I buzzed my friend Mauricio because I needed an older, mentally stable opinion on what had just happened. And for the record, Mauricio is not Meshugga. He can be a bit of a schnook with the ladies (and international politics) but never Meshugga! Okaaaaaay? He had this to say:

Later that same evening…
Glamour Diva:
OH MY GOD!
Mauricio:
what?
Glamour Diva:
I JUST HAD THE WORST CONVERSATION!
Glamour Diva:
oh god!
Mauricio:
what was it about?
Glamour Diva:
i silly man telling me the reason men are turned off by me is because i wont have sex with them right away and not having sex is, even if it goes against my better judgment is negative!
Mauricio:
fuck him
Mauricio:
I am getting a lot of attention by girls in ________ and ________ I dont know why
Glamour Diva:
yes...by all means lets talk ______________ instead of my stupid problems...
Mauricio:
I am chatting with a 26 year old one
Mauricio:
I respect your way of looking at things
Glamour Diva:
well thanks.
Mauricio:
I am surprised at this streak of youngish women declaring her interest
Mauricio:
maybe they think I am rich
Glamour Diva:
i suppose. okay i have to go
Mauricio:
bye
Glamour Diva:
i need your help and you arent helping! i need you!
Mauricio:
ask specifically
Mauricio:
I will try to help
Mauricio:
shoot
Glamour Diva:
whats wrong with me?
Mauricio:
nothing
Mauricio:
u are principled
Glamour Diva:
then why am i not in a relationship?
Mauricio:
cause almost nobody is principled
Glamour Diva:
great.
Mauricio:
I advise a little relaxation from u
Mauricio:
just a tiny bit
Glamour Diva:
thats not fair. you get to _______ AND _______ and i'm still single? that is so wrong!
Glamour Diva:
and i am relaxed!
Glamour Diva:
just because i'm upset right now doesn’t mean i'm not relaxed with a man!
Glamour Diva:
JEEEEZ!
Mauricio:
I meant relax your principles
Mauricio:
not your behavior
Glamour Diva:
so i should fuck married men, fuck on the first date, drink, smoke, have a good time and not worry about things?
Mauricio:
_________________________________
Glamour Diva:
i know you arent but still its not fair
Mauricio:
I didnt say that
Mauricio:
you have to generate options
Mauricio:
where should u go to find individuals whose thoughts and wants are similar or at least complementary of yours
Glamour Diva:
good question
Mauricio:
u must answer that question
Mauricio:
among others
Glamour Diva:
well i have tried. nothing works.
Mauricio:
thats not so
Glamour Diva:
no?
Mauricio:
u havent given a good thought to these issues
Glamour Diva:
i havent?
Mauricio:
u havent
Mauricio:
u got more than enough gray matter to generate the option I mentioned
Mauricio:
ask yourself why u havent tried hard enough'
Glamour Diva:
well i must say, i like your approach. its not the usual passive aggressive, "you'll find the right guy one day" bullshit
Mauricio:
u wont find anything if u dont fight for it
Mauricio:
tu nina
Glamour Diva:
i'm a girl?
Mauricio:
si
Mauricio:
nina
Mauricio:
grande de tamano
Mauricio:
nina en muchas cosas
Glamour Diva:
what is tamano? i'm a girl in many things?
Mauricio:
size
Mauricio:
a big sized little girl
Glamour Diva:
a little girl in a woman's body?
Mauricio:
yes a big body
Mauricio:
thats what u r
Mauricio:
and brainy too
Glamour Diva:
a smart little girl in a big woman's body?
Mauricio:
EXACTLY
Glamour Diva:
LOL
Glamour Diva:
ok. i can accept that
Mauricio:
a smart principled little girl in a big woman's body
Mauricio:
now it is complete
Glamour Diva:
LOL

Dear Mauricio, you may be an old horn dog but you really know how to make a woman feel special!


In the immortal words of Michael Corleone, just when I thought that I was out they pull me back in! – GD

Well it finally happened Dear Readers. I, Glamour Diva, had one, fabulously awesome date! Sigh! It was so wonderful Dear Readers that I don’t know if words can express just how wonderful it truly was. But because it was just so beautiful and because I know you love reading about other folks business and making snap judgments (well don’t we all?) I will try my best to give you all the fascinating details. Ready?

8/2/2006 at 7:13:06 PM
Check out my profile and tell me if you want to chat.

8/2/2006 at 9:24:46 PM
Hello there Handsome! You have a great profile but my body type is neither Slim/Slender, Average, Athletic, Petite, nor Toned. Sorry!

Smooches,
Glamour Diva

8/3/2006 at 7:58:32 AM
Hello Glamour Diva,

Yes you sound like a terrific person that I would like to know. Tell me a little more about yourself.

Steve

8/4/2006 at 7:05:04 PM
Hi Steve!

You want to know more about me? You mean other than what’s in my profile? ;-) Well I like whiskey, I love to laugh, the only sports I like are baseball and rugby (and some Olympic sports), I like pubs and clubs that aren’t too noisy, I like classic movies and taking naps with one very special man. [I know that last sentence was terribly precious but dating is war and if I have to channel my inner sex kitten I will! Besides, it worked…]

What about you?

Smooches,
Glamour Diva

8/4/2006 at 7:31:08 PM
Yes I love to take naps with that one special woman. I like baseball & football and like a quiet intimate place to drink with that special diva. I work in the ____________ field, with a partnership in the ____________ business. What about you? A student or is their more?

Steve

8/4/2006 at 7:40:57 PM
Well Steve, I go to school part time and I work full time. I work temp at the moment (basic clerical) because it's easier to take off from work when needed but I was a _____________ for several years before returning to school.

So what do you _________ besides _________? How long have you been in the business? Do you enjoy it?

8/4/2006 at 7:47:42 PM
I have been in the ________ business for about 15 years, it is both interesting and somewhat of a hassle but the money is good and I like to see things take shape from just ____ to a _______. How would you like to meet tomorrow in the afternoon for say a coffee or some drinks?

Steve

8/4/2006 at 8:07:56 PM
I thought you'd never ask! LOL But the afternoon is bad for me. I have some errands to run with my mother. I'd prefer the evening but if that isn't good for you we can plan another time.

Smooches,
Glamour Diva
713 555 5555

8/4/2006 at 8:18:11 PM
The evening is great for me. I will call you tomorrow morning to set a time. I look forward to us meeting.

Steve

8/4/2006 at 8:23:31 PM
Great! Talk to you then...

So Saturday night I hurried home and got ready for the date. I wore a very pretty black dress that hit just below the knee, fitted at the waist, wide at the hip, sleeveless with a deep V-neck (I know, très chic!). I wore simple gold hoops, clear lipgloss and gold, satin spiked heels that have an overlay of black lace. My handbag was gold satin with silver, gold and bronze sequins. In other words, I was lookin’ fierce!

We were supposed to meet at a local pub, The Kelvin Arms, but I’d recently lost my ID so we decided to meet at a restaurant, Mi Luna . It was hotter than Hades, even at 7:30pm, and it showed. My God but I was sweating like there was no tomorrow! Yes I admit to the sweat. Women in Texas don’t glisten…it’s too damn hot for that!

Anyhoo, we met at the bar and I was pleasantly surprised. He looked much better in person and he has the most incredible brown eyes and a very mischievous, boyish smile! He’s tall, about six feet or so and very much a gentleman. And did I mention he’s old enough to be my Dad? Well almost. If he’d started in his late teens, well you get the picture. We started out sitting directly across from each other but as the restaurant got busier he moved next to me so we could hear each other better. It was odd but it seemed like their were invisible laces on us and someone kept pulling them tighter and tighter as got closer and closer. By the end of the date we were thigh-to-thigh and shoulder-to-shoulder! And he held my hand! And looked deeply into my eyes! And told me I was “lovely”! And he blatantly ogled my cleavage!

But the very best thing about the evening was that he understood my pop culture references which means he isn’t a complete idiot:

1. He was telling me about his childhood and how he loved to go sledging. So I asked him if his sled was named Rosebud. He totally got it! He even gave me some cool Hollywood gossip about William Randolph Hearst but that’s another blog entry all together!

2. I remarked on how close we were and he asked me if I minded. I said no so them he asked if he could get even closer and I laughed because I remembered an old Groucho Marx joke from the movie, A Day At The Races. Groucho’s character, Dr. Hugo Z. Hackenbush (LOL), is chatting up this woman and she’s getting really excited. So she grabs Groucho, presses him to her chest and calls out, “Hold me closer! Closer! Closer!” And Groucho stares directly into the camera and says, “If I hold you any closer, I'll be in back of you.” Steve laughed his ass off on that one!

After dinner he dropped me off at my car and we shared a kiss, very sweet but no tongues, and then I walked to my car on a billowy cloud of happiness! I even got hit on on the way to my car! Well warm, fuzzy feelings will do that to you. I think you may be wondering if I really like this guy. Well I do like him but I’m a naturally cautious person so we’ll see how long it takes him to turn into a flaming sack of shit…if ever. What ever happens Dear Readers I will be sure to keep you updated and posted.

Steve called while I was writing this and we have another date Tuesday. Yay! But don’t worry Ladies! I didn’t break any rules. We spoke Sunday about going out again so I did have advance notice. Ms. GD got this…don’t worry… – GD

Welcome, Dear Readers, to part eleven of my eternal damnation, The Internet Dating Chronicles Of Glamour Diva – Transatlantic/Equatorial Africa Edition (Episode 9, Series Finale!)

So…when last we met, “Powel”…oh forget it! If you’ve been with me this long you already know what’s coming next; more “love”, more inane chatting which we all know is just a set up for…Read and find out! So here it is Dear Readers, with further ado, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the thrilling Series Finale, which will answer all your burning questions! Oh and God Save the Queen!

June 29, 2006

Glamour Diva: Hi!
BUZZ!
BUZZ!
Powel The Idiot: hello my love
Glamour Diva: hello baby! how are you?
Powel The Idiot: i am sad
Glamour Diva: why?
Powel The Idiot: i am not with u
Powel The Idiot: i am missing u so so much my love
Glamour Diva: aren’t you coming home soon? Won’t be together soon my sweet?
Powel The Idiot: we will surely be together soon my love
Powel The Idiot: but i cant wait honey
Powel The Idiot: i am missing u so so much my love
Glamour Diva: what can i do to make things better for you baby?
Powel The Idiot: tell me u will love me till the end of time
Powel The Idiot: that together we will be forever my love
Powel The Idiot: i am afriad honey.. another man can take u away from me honey
Glamour Diva: no, no other man could take me away from you. and i will love you and be with if you can do something for me?
Powel The Idiot: what is that my love
Glamour Diva: tell me that you will always respect me and appreciate the things i do for you
Powel The Idiot: i will my love with all my heart and soul
Powel The Idiot: i promise my love
Glamour Diva: i promise you too baby
Powel The Idiot: i love uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Glamour Diva: do you feel better?
Powel The Idiot: yes my love
Powel The Idiot: lol
Powel The Idiot: i love uuuuuuuuu
Glamour Diva: lol so are you almost done with your business there?
Powel The Idiot: yes
Powel The Idiot: just cant wait to be with u my love
Glamour Diva: well you'll have to wait. at least a while longer
Powel The Idiot: just have to wait for some weeks more my love
Powel The Idiot: i remember my love
Powel The Idiot: honey i have a liltle problem here
Glamour Diva: oh?
Powel The Idiot: some of my client want to buy some electronics honey
Glamour Diva: ok. well we can talk later
Powel The Idiot: no honey
Powel The Idiot: and which i am very happy for that my love
Powel The Idiot: so the sad thing is that they want to pay me buy money order my love
Powel The Idiot: and the sad thing is that they dont cash money order down here in africa my love
Powel The Idiot: and i dont want to lose this customers
Glamour Diva: ok so what can i do?
Powel The Idiot: well i use to do this for my company while i am in state honey
Powel The Idiot: but i cant do it from hear my love
Glamour Diva: so you want me to do it? ok i will! anything for the love of my life!
Powel The Idiot: so honey i want u to help me with it my love
Powel The Idiot: better my love
Powel The Idiot: i love uuuuuuuuuuu
Glamour Diva: ok so give me all the details and i will take care of it for you
Powel The Idiot: together we will be forever my love
Powel The Idiot: okay
Powel The Idiot: honey i will need u to email me ur full name and address so it can be send to u my love
Glamour Diva: ok. right now?
Powel The Idiot: PowelTheIdiot@yahoo.com
Powel The Idiot: yes my love
Powel The Idiot: u always make me happy my love
Powel The Idiot: i love uuuuuuuuuuuuu
Glamour Diva: ok but before I do let me just say that I knew all along that you were a fraud! LOL If you ever contact me again I will call the police and tell them what you're doing. You are a Nigerian criminal and I hope you burn in Hades! Goodbye you evil mother fucker!
Powel The Idiot: what did u mean by that
Powel The Idiot: i cant believe this
Glamour Diva: you aren’t an Englishman! You don’t have a son and none of the things you said to me are true! you steal from women!
Yahoo! Messenger: Powel The Idiot has signed out
Powel The Idiot: so u think i am a scammer right?
Glamour Diva: yes. that’s a very popular Nigerian scheme
Powel The Idiot: yes i know abt that
Powel The Idiot: i have also been scam by this people
Powel The Idiot: so u think i am one of them right
Powel The Idiot: that is very sad
Glamour Diva: ok so what if i do cash these money orders. what would you want me to do with the money? be honest
Powel The Idiot: send it back here
Powel The Idiot: so i can put it in my company account and then come back home honey
Glamour Diva: so if you are truly a businessman why can’t you do that through the bank? why do you need me? if you want me to believe you then prove it. make me believe you are an honest God-fearing man.
Glamour Diva: take a picture of you and John together and send it to me
Powel The Idiot: okay
Glamour Diva: with a current newspaper
Powel The Idiot: i will do that tomorrow or this weekend okay
Powel The Idiot: ok
Glamour Diva: ok. so who is that white man in that picture you sent me? what do you really look like?
Powel The Idiot: u have my pics okay
Powel The Idiot: i am very sad with the way u r thinking right now
Glamour Diva: ok well call me so i can hear your British accent. call me right now
Glamour Diva: if you really love me as you say. you will do it now
Powel The Idiot: i will have to call u tomorrow okay
Glamour Diva: no. That was the wrong answer. Now I am sad that you felt you needed to lie to me and use an innocent child in your lies as well. That’s pitiful.
Powel The Idiot: u think i am lieing to u right
Powel The Idiot: that is very sad
Powel The Idiot: well let forget abt it okay
Powel The Idiot: i will talk to u tomorrow
Powel The Idiot: will evn all u
Powel The Idiot: bye
Glamour Diva: no you won’t i am blocking you now. Goodbye and God bless!
Yahoo! Messenger: Powel The Idiot has signed out

So he never got back with me but I suspect you already guessed that. Ladies this is just one example of the evil that lurks on the net. You can’t let your guard down for a second. Remember, if it’s too good to be true, then it probably for damn sure is! Peace out ya’ll and stay alert! – GD

Welcome, Dear Readers, to part ten of my enduring wretchedness, The Internet Dating Chronicles Of Glamour Diva – Transatlantic/Equatorial Africa Edition (Episode 8)

So…when last we met, “Powel” pledged his steadfast love for me and then put his son on who also pledged his steadfast love for me as well as his desire for me to become his new mommy. And as usual Powel continued to vandalize the Queen’s English in a manner so repugnant that the British Parliament voted unanimously to declare war on him!

June 26, 2006

Powel The Idiot[offline 7:53:17 AM]: hello my love.. hw u doing and hw is the day going with u?
Powel The Idiot[offline 7:53:29 AM]: i am missing u so so much ... just cant wait to be with u my love
Powel The Idiot[offline 7:53:30 AM]: miss ya
Glamour Diva [4:17:07 PM]: HI! I'm at home now
BUZZ!
Glamour Diva [4:23:43 PM]: did i miss you again?
Powel The Idiot[4:57:47 PM]: hello my love
Glamour Diva [4:57:54 PM]: hi baby!
Powel The Idiot[4:58:26 PM]: hw u doing my love
Powel The Idiot[4:58:29 PM]: i have miss u so so much
Glamour Diva [4:58:54 PM]: i'm good. i miss you too! how are you and John doing? how was the party?
Powel The Idiot[4:59:32 PM]: fine
Powel The Idiot[4:59:40 PM]: everything was sweet honey
Powel The Idiot[4:59:45 PM]: i really miss u
Glamour Diva [5:00:01 PM]: why do you miss me so much?
Powel The Idiot[5:00:13 PM]: i am missing my wife
Powel The Idiot[5:00:22 PM]: cant stop thinking abt u my love
Glamour Diva [5:01:24 PM]: i just don’t understand how you can miss someone you've never met
Glamour Diva [5:01:55 PM]: hello?
Glamour Diva [5:03:37 PM]: hello?
BUZZ!
Glamour Diva [5:04:21 PM]: yes?
Powel The Idiot[5:04:26 PM]: got booted
Powel The Idiot[5:04:41 PM]: so hw u doing honey?
Glamour Diva [5:05:27 PM]: i'm good. so tell me about the party! you never want to talk about John!
Powel The Idiot[5:06:04 PM]: the perty was fine
Powel The Idiot[5:06:24 PM]: have alot of john friends here and even some of my staff
Glamour Diva [5:06:51 PM]: so what happened? did you have music? what presents did he get?
Powel The Idiot[5:07:05 PM]: yes
Powel The Idiot[5:07:15 PM]: very nice music
Powel The Idiot[5:07:43 PM]: and i present him a Game
Glamour Diva [5:08:01 PM]: ...fine...so what sort of underwear do you wear?
Powel The Idiot[5:08:28 PM]: lol
Powel The Idiot[5:08:37 PM]: a normal shirt
Glamour Diva [5:09:04 PM]: boxers? briefs? or bikini underwear?
Powel The Idiot[5:09:42 PM]: and a black trousser
Glamour Diva [5:10:31 PM]: LOL NO! you don’t understand! what kind of pants, knickers do you wear?
Powel The Idiot[5:11:03 PM]: boxers honey
Powel The Idiot[5:11:12 PM]: white color
Glamour Diva [5:11:41 PM]: lol ok. thanks!
Powel The Idiot[5:11:50 PM]: and u?
Glamour Diva [5:12:30 PM]: just regular panties but not when I'm asleep. i don’t wear anything when I sleep
Powel The Idiot[5:12:49 PM]: wow
Powel The Idiot[5:13:02 PM]: so that means that is hw we will be sleeping together?
Glamour Diva [5:13:31 PM]: lol no that just means i sleep nude! naughty...
Powel The Idiot[5:13:39 PM]: lol
Glamour Diva [5:15:01 PM]: so tell me more about you. what foods do you like?
Powel The Idiot[5:15:17 PM]: Rice and beaf
Powel The Idiot[5:15:18 PM]: u?
Glamour Diva [5:15:59 PM]: OMG! you only eat rice and beef? that’s it?
Powel The Idiot[5:16:26 PM]: i dont eat much
Powel The Idiot[5:16:27 PM]: u?/
Glamour Diva [5:17:46 PM]: i eat a lot! i love food. but i cant eat as much as i used too. i like all sorts of food: Indian, Chinese, Mexican, Japanese, African, Middle Eastern
Glamour Diva [5:18:03 PM]: what about John? does he only eat beef and rice?
Powel The Idiot[5:18:17 PM]: nope
Powel The Idiot[5:18:19 PM]: lol
Powel The Idiot[5:18:34 PM]: eat english food honey
Glamour Diva [5:19:18 PM]: so what’s english food? toad in the hole? fried tomatoes? blood sausage?
Glamour Diva [5:19:29 PM]: yeck!
Powel The Idiot[5:20:28 PM]: lol
Powel The Idiot[5:20:45 PM]: fried tomatoes and beaf
Powel The Idiot[5:21:15 PM]: and also bread and egg
Glamour Diva [5:21:16 PM]: i guess that’s why the two of you are so skinny
Powel The Idiot[5:21:27 PM]: lol
Glamour Diva [5:22:17 PM]: so do you like to give and receive massages?
Powel The Idiot[5:22:21 PM]: so what did u want us to be eating now so we will be very big
Powel The Idiot[5:22:31 PM]: sure
Glamour Diva [5:24:31 PM]: LOL i dont want you to be big! i just want the two of you to eat more veggies. like green salads, ya know?
Powel The Idiot[5:24:49 PM]: sure
Powel The Idiot[5:24:57 PM]: i understand my love
Glamour Diva [5:25:23 PM]: but if you're happy and healthy then that’s all i really care about
Glamour Diva [5:26:42 PM]: hello?
Powel The Idiot[5:26:59 PM]: i am here my love
Powel The Idiot[5:27:05 PM]: just waiitng for u to talk
Glamour Diva [5:27:21 PM]: i said, if you're happy and healty then thats all i really care about
Powel The Idiot[5:27:39 PM]: thx honey
Powel The Idiot[5:27:46 PM]: i cant wait to be with u my love
Powel The Idiot[5:27:54 PM]: hw will u feel when we first meet
Glamour Diva [5:28:13 PM]: i think i'll be happy and very excited. u?
BUZZ!
Glamour Diva [5:29:12 PM]: think i'll be happy and very excited. u?
Powel The Idiot[5:29:52 PM]: wow
Powel The Idiot[5:29:55 PM]: that is sweet
Powel The Idiot[5:30:17 PM]: i will run to u and give u a sweet kiss
Glamour Diva [5:30:27 PM]: on the cheek?
Powel The Idiot[5:30:39 PM]: nope
Powel The Idiot[5:30:42 PM]: on ur lips
Glamour Diva [5:30:56 PM]: cheeky!
Yahoo! Messenger [5:31:09 PM]: Powel The Idiot has signed out
Glamour Diva [5:33:11 PM]: left again?
Powel The Idiot[5:33:43 PM]: i am back
Glamour Diva [5:34:04 PM]: do you need a new computer?
Powel The Idiot[5:35:01 PM]: the network is very bad here
Glamour Diva [5:35:56 PM]: i see. so are you a drinker?
Powel The Idiot[5:36:03 PM]: nope
Powel The Idiot[5:36:11 PM]: i don’t drink
Powel The Idiot[5:36:11 PM]: u?
Glamour Diva [5:36:35 PM]: i drink a little, wine. in your picture you had a beer
Powel The Idiot[5:37:06 PM]: lol
Powel The Idiot[5:37:15 PM]: then i was drinking but i have stop
Glamour Diva [5:37:24 PM]: why?
Powel The Idiot[5:38:03 PM]: dont like it
Glamour Diva [5:38:47 PM]: i see. so tell me powel, why is your profile invisible on noneofyourbusiness.com?
Powel The Idiot[5:39:23 PM]: i have stop using it honey
Glamour Diva [5:39:48 PM]: why?
Powel The Idiot[5:40:01 PM]: cos i have u
Glamour Diva [5:40:59 PM]: really? so let me see what we have. you only eat rice and beef, you're skinny, you don’t drink and you wear white boxers?
Glamour Diva [5:41:03 PM]: is that all?
Powel The Idiot[5:41:30 PM]: yes
Powel The Idiot[5:41:32 PM]: lol
Glamour Diva [5:43:05 PM]: i don’t think so. i think there’s more to you then you let on. what are you hiding Powel?
Powel The Idiot[5:43:29 PM]: nothing
Powel The Idiot[5:43:33 PM]: pls brb
Glamour Diva [5:49:19 PM]: ok
Glamour Diva [5:58:42 PM]: Okay...i guess you left again?

Only one more hilarity suffused episode to go before I can finally put all this behind me and move on to the next idiot. Stay damned tuned… – GD

Cute comic found here

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Welcome, Dear Readers, to part nine of my perpetual torment, The Internet Dating Chronicles Of Glamour Diva – Transatlantic/Equatorial Africa Edition (Episode 7)

So…when last we met, “Powel” declared his binding love for me, shared lots of personal information with me and continued to molest the Queen’s English in a manner so foul that her Royal Majesty actual considered reopening the Tower of London to prisoners! Oh and did I mention he proclaimed his undying love for me?

June 24, 2006

Glamour Diva: still no Powel...
BUZZ!
Powel The Idiot: i am in my office right now my love
Powel The Idiot: hw u doing?
Glamour Diva: i'm good! are u busy?
Powel The Idiot: yes a liltle
Powel The Idiot: but we can talk for a while
Glamour Diva: sorry. just wanted to say hello
Powel The Idiot: hw u doing my love
Glamour Diva: i missed you
Powel The Idiot: i have miss u so so much
Glamour Diva: how is my favorite 8 year old? is john with you now?
Powel The Idiot: yes is with me
Powel The Idiot: will u like to talk to him
Glamour Diva: yes!
Powel The Idiot: okay
Powel The Idiot: 2 mins
Glamour Diva: ok
Powel The Idiot: hello mom
Glamour Diva: LOL hello John! how are you my sweet?
Powel The Idiot: i am fine
Powel The Idiot: and you
Glamour Diva: i'm very well! what have you been up to lately?
Powel The Idiot: nothing
Powel The Idiot: just having fun with dad
Glamour Diva: are you excited about your birthday? do you and dad have anything special planned?
Powel The Idiot: yes
Powel The Idiot: people will be coming and have party with me
Powel The Idiot: i am very happy
Glamour Diva: WOW! I wish I could be there with you
Powel The Idiot: me too
Powel The Idiot: it will be very nice to be here with us
Glamour Diva: well i have a present for you when you get back. and a hug and a kiss too. but you're too old for hugs and kisses aren't you? lol
Powel The Idiot: mom what can you send me for my B-day
Glamour Diva: i can’t send it to you sweetheart. i have to give it to you when you and your dad get back to texas
Glamour Diva: i wish i could send it
Powel The Idiot: mom why cant you
Powel The Idiot: please
Powel The Idiot: i have never recieve a B-day gift from a woman in my life
Powel The Idiot: even my mom has never present me a gift
Glamour Diva: John! no woman has ever given you a gift? not even in Africa?
Powel The Idiot: yes
Powel The Idiot: so mom i want you to be the first woman
Powel The Idiot: your gift will be the first gift i have ever recieve
Powel The Idiot: but i cant force you to send me a b-day gift
Glamour Diva: I really wish I could do that John but I can't. You'll just have to be patient
Powel The Idiot: ok
Glamour Diva: besides, i want to meet you and give it to you in person
Powel The Idiot: okay
Powel The Idiot: that will be nice
Powel The Idiot: so how is everything going with you and dad
Glamour Diva: LOL the things you say! things are just fine sweetheart. you aren’t worried are you?
Powel The Idiot: i am a liltle
Powel The Idiot: brb
Powel The Idiot: i am back mom
Powel The Idiot: sorry for that
Glamour Diva: ok
Glamour Diva: no prob
Glamour Diva: so why are you worried?
Powel The Idiot: mom about the gift
Powel The Idiot: but i understand
Glamour Diva: why would that worry you? tell me please
Powel The Idiot: becuase you wont send me the gift
Yahoo! Messenger: Powel The Idiot has signed out
Glamour Diva: but WHY should it worry you. i promise you'll get it when you get back
Powel The Idiot: okay then
Powel The Idiot: i understand mom
Powel The Idiot: so i hope things is going on fine with you and dad
Glamour Diva: yes they are. your dad and i are still getting to know each other but i think things are good
Powel The Idiot: that is fine to hear
Glamour Diva: good! i'm happy you aren’t worried about that
Powel The Idiot: i cant wait to meet you
Powel The Idiot: and to see you and dad geting married
Glamour Diva: lol well the last part might not happen so quickly but we will meet very soon my dear
Powel The Idiot: i hope it will work soon
Glamour Diva: i guess we all have to be patient but may i tell you a secret?
Powel The Idiot: yes
Glamour Diva: I really, really, really, really like your Dad!
Powel The Idiot: wow
Powel The Idiot: that is very sweet
Powel The Idiot: i wont tell him okay
Glamour Diva: LOL good! we will let him find out all by himself
Powel The Idiot: sure
Powel The Idiot: can i ask you a question
Glamour Diva: yes
Powel The Idiot: will you like to get married to him
Glamour Diva: John!
Glamour Diva: okay...i think about it, I honestly do but I don't think we know each other well enough to make such a big decision so quickly. does that make sense to you?
Powel The Idiot: yes
Powel The Idiot: i am sure when we all meet you will like us very well
Powel The Idiot: and also love dad so much
Glamour Diva: I know you love your dad and I know we will all like each other. I already like you a lot!
Powel The Idiot: that is fine
Powel The Idiot: mom i have to go now
Powel The Idiot: my teacher is here
Glamour Diva: ok
Glamour Diva: bye!
Powel The Idiot: okay
Powel The Idiot: i dont think dad can still come back online now
Powel The Idiot: he his talking to some of his staff
Glamour Diva: ok i'll talk to him later
Powel The Idiot: okay
Powel The Idiot: bye mom
Powel The Idiot: have a nice day
Glamour Diva: you too
Yahoo! Messenger: Powel The Idiot has signed out

Only two more blood curdling episodes to go before we can finally put this baby to bed. Stay damned tuned… – GD

Cute comic found here

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Welcome, Dear Readers, to part eight of my anguish, The Internet Dating Chronicles Of Glamour Diva – Transatlantic/Equatorial Africa Edition (Episode 6)

So…when last we met, “Powel” declared his irrevocable love for me, introduced me to his “son” (we had a nice chat!) and continued to attack and injure the Queen’s English so badly that everyone in the royal line of succession, from Queen Elizabeth II down to George Lascelles, 7th Earl of Harewood, could feel it! Oh and did I mention he proclaimed his undying love for me (That would be Powel, not the Earl)?

June 22, 2006

Powel The Idiot: hello my sweet love
Glamour Diva: hi baby!
Powel The Idiot: where have u been my love
Glamour Diva: i've been good but i've missed you. i thought you'd forgotten about me!
Powel The Idiot: omg
Powel The Idiot: did u think i have forgotten u
Glamour Diva: well either you forgot or you were very busy
Powel The Idiot: i have been evry busy my love
Powel The Idiot: i have miss u so so much my love
Glamour Diva: i miss chatting with you too! how is “my son John”? LOL 
Glamour Diva: still there?
BUZZ!
Powel The Idiot: i am back nw
Glamour Diva: ok
Powel The Idiot: sorry i go booted
Powel The Idiot: hw is everything with u my love
Powel The Idiot: hw is life?
Glamour Diva: life is good but you didn’t answer my question about john!
Powel The Idiot: john is fine
Powel The Idiot: thx for asking
Powel The Idiot: he always ask abt u honey
Glamour Diva: really? that’s very sweet!
Glamour Diva: do you have a picture of you and John together? may I see it?
Powel The Idiot: yes i have
Powel The Idiot: but not in my PC
Powel The Idiot: he his at home
Powel The Idiot: i mean back in state
Powel The Idiot: i have not download it to my PC my love
Powel The Idiot: i am very sorry
Glamour Diva: okay...so how was your day? tell me what you and John did today
Powel The Idiot: my day was nice my love
Powel The Idiot: and also john
Powel The Idiot: we r always together my love
Powel The Idiot: but i am missing u so so much my love
Glamour Diva: well tell me what you did! i want to know everything! what’s a typical day like for you?
Powel The Idiot: well first go to office and have a nice time
Powel The Idiot: meet some new customers
Glamour Diva: nothing else?
Powel The Idiot: lol
Powel The Idiot: and have nice time to think abt u
Glamour Diva: LOL okay. if you don’t want to tell me then just say so! you are a very secretive man Powel
Powel The Idiot: no i am not my love
Powel The Idiot: just that i dont even know what to say
Powel The Idiot: ask anything my love
Glamour Diva: okay...is John's mother black?
Powel The Idiot: nop
Powel The Idiot: why?
Glamour Diva: just curious. is she white?
Powel The Idiot: yes
Glamour Diva: ok...next question
Powel The Idiot: ok
Glamour Diva: what’s the name of your business and what do you do exactly?
Powel The Idiot: PB-TEACH LMT
Powel The Idiot: buying and selling of electronics
Glamour Diva: how did you get into that business?
Powel The Idiot: my dad told me to try it
Powel The Idiot: so i did honey
Powel The Idiot: and now i Thank God for doing it
Glamour Diva: well that’s interesting! so did you attend university? what did you study?
Powel The Idiot: some i dont
Powel The Idiot: u?
Glamour Diva: i'm sorry, i don’t understand...you didn’t attend university?
Powel The Idiot: yes i dont my love
Glamour Diva: OK. yes i attend the university of houston right now
Powel The Idiot: that is very nice to hear my love
Powel The Idiot: what r u studying
Glamour Diva: communications
Powel The Idiot: that is nice my love
Powel The Idiot: i am very happy to here that honey
Glamour Diva: lol why so happy?
Powel The Idiot: that my wife is in university
Glamour Diva: lol ok
Powel The Idiot: lol
Glamour Diva: so tell me about your parents. what were they like? what about your sisters and brothers? do you look like your mum or your dad?
Powel The Idiot: a very sad memory for me
Powel The Idiot: i was the only child of my family
Powel The Idiot: and i lost them in a car accident some years back
Powel The Idiot: so i have been all alone with my son
Powel The Idiot: i look like my dad
Glamour Diva: well that means your dad was a very handsome man!
Powel The Idiot: lol
Glamour Diva: you don’t think you're handsome?
Powel The Idiot: yes
Powel The Idiot: i am a normal guy baby
Glamour Diva: i don’t think you are
Powel The Idiot: why?
Powel The Idiot: lol
Glamour Diva: i'll tell you when you get home 
Powel The Idiot: okay baby
Powel The Idiot: i cant wait to be with u my love
Glamour Diva: me too. i want to whisper things in your ear
Powel The Idiot: wow
Powel The Idiot: i cant wait baby
Powel The Idiot: i want to make sweet love to u every night and day
Glamour Diva: every night AND day? Won’t you get tired?
Powel The Idiot: nop
Powel The Idiot: i wont
Powel The Idiot: u?
Glamour Diva: lol yes
Powel The Idiot: i love uuuuuuuu
Powel The Idiot: u r very sweet my love
Glamour Diva: well i haven’t made up my mind about you yet.
Powel The Idiot: really?
Powel The Idiot: whe will u do that?
Glamour Diva: after i meet you
Powel The Idiot: okay then
Powel The Idiot: i cant wait
Glamour Diva: when are you coming back?
Powel The Idiot: my love i have to go to bed now okay
Powel The Idiot: in some few weeks my love
Glamour Diva: ok. good night baby!
Powel The Idiot: i will talk to u latter my love
Powel The Idiot: okay
Powel The Idiot: miss ya
Glamour Diva: sleep well!
Powel The Idiot: k
Yahoo! Messenger: Powel The Idiot has signed out

Only three more episodes to go until the thrilling, chilling series finale Dear Readers. Stay damned tuned… – GD

Cute comic found here

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Welcome, Dear Readers, to part seven of my agony, The Internet Dating Chronicles Of Glamour Diva – Transatlantic/Equatorial Africa Edition (Episode 5) So…when last we met, “Powel” declared, unceasingly, his undying love for me, promised that he was a legitimate suitor for my heart and, continued to maul the Queen’s English in such a way that Queen Elizabeth the first’s moldy old bones could be heard rattling all over Westminster Abbey! Oh and did I mention he proclaimed his undying love for me?

June 16, 2006

Powel The Idiot[offline 5:34:24 PM]: hello my sweet wife
Powel The Idiot[offline 5:34:35 PM]: hw u doing and hw is the day going with u?
Powel The Idiot[offline 5:34:56 PM]: well just buzz me when u r readt to talk with me
Powel The Idiot[offline 5:35:11 PM]: i love u with allmy heart and cant stop thinking abt u
Glamour Diva [6:18:57 PM]: hello baby! just got home
BUZZ!
Powel The Idiot[6:20:02 PM]: hello my love
Glamour Diva [6:20:42 PM]: what's up?
Powel The Idiot[6:21:01 PM]: nothing much
Powel The Idiot[6:21:09 PM]: just cant stop thinking abt u
Glamour Diva [6:21:39 PM]: really? how do you get any work done? lol
Powel The Idiot[6:21:59 PM]: very hard for me
Powel The Idiot[6:22:02 PM]: but i try
Glamour Diva [6:22:21 PM]: how’s John doing?
Powel The Idiot[6:22:48 PM]: john is here with me now
Powel The Idiot[6:22:54 PM]: he has been waiting for u
Powel The Idiot[6:23:00 PM]: will u talk to him now
Glamour Diva [6:23:16 PM]: of course!
Powel The Idiot[6:23:23 PM]: okay
Powel The Idiot[6:23:40 PM]: let me stand up for him so he can talk to u
Glamour Diva [6:23:49 PM]: ok
Powel The Idiot[6:25:00 PM]: hello
Glamour Diva [6:25:14 PM]: yes? am i chatting with John?
Powel The Idiot[6:25:35 PM]: this is John Bruce
Glamour Diva [6:25:56 PM]: LOL Hello John Bruce! how are you?
Powel The Idiot[6:26:07 PM]: i am fine
Powel The Idiot[6:26:11 PM]: and you
Glamour Diva [6:26:42 PM]: doing well. i'm eating some very good Chinese food right now. do you like Chinese food?
Powel The Idiot[6:26:59 PM]: not realy
Powel The Idiot[6:27:08 PM]: but i will like to eat it with u
Glamour Diva [6:27:40 PM]: you "type" just like your father. lol is he coaching you?
Powel The Idiot[6:27:50 PM]: yes
Powel The Idiot[6:27:59 PM]: dad allways teach me how to type
Glamour Diva [6:28:14 PM]: Is he telling you what to type as well?
Powel The Idiot[6:28:21 PM]: no
Powel The Idiot[6:28:28 PM]: he is out of here
Powel The Idiot[6:28:38 PM]: i think he should be in his room
Glamour Diva [6:29:23 PM]: well thats ok. i like chatting with you! what sort of things do you like to do? do you play sports? do you like video games?
Powel The Idiot[6:29:57 PM]: yes a like video game alot
Powel The Idiot[6:30:04 PM]: soccer
Powel The Idiot[6:30:29 PM]: i am even asking my dad to buy me a game has a present for my birth day
Glamour Diva [6:30:57 PM]: OH? when is your birthday? and what game do you want?
Powel The Idiot[6:32:52 PM]: on the 25 of this month
Glamour Diva [6:34:20 PM]: Wonderful! so tell me more about yourself. Besides soccer and video games what else do you like to do? do you like reading?
Powel The Idiot[6:34:48 PM]: yes i like reading
Powel The Idiot[6:34:54 PM]: going out with dad
Powel The Idiot[6:35:09 PM]: i also like music just like my dad
Glamour Diva [6:35:41 PM]: what sort of music do you like?
Powel The Idiot[6:35:48 PM]: dad told me alot abt u
Powel The Idiot[6:35:52 PM]: rap
Powel The Idiot[6:36:14 PM]: my dad always talk abt you
Glamour Diva [6:36:44 PM]: LOL you like rap? Wow! i like it too but i dont think your dad likes it. and what did your dad tell you about me
Powel The Idiot[6:37:04 PM]: that he his madly in love with u
Powel The Idiot[6:37:07 PM]: is that true
Glamour Diva [6:37:40 PM]: is it true that he's madly in love? well thats what he says so i guess it's true right?
Powel The Idiot[6:38:05 PM]: yes
Powel The Idiot[6:38:11 PM]: and i am very happy for him
Powel The Idiot[6:38:29 PM]: this is what i am been praying for since my mom hurt him
Glamour Diva [6:39:05 PM]: Really? and what about you? would you like a new mother?
Powel The Idiot[6:39:19 PM]: yes
Powel The Idiot[6:39:31 PM]: but i don’t know if u will accept me as ur son
Powel The Idiot[6:39:39 PM]: that is what i am scared of
Glamour Diva [6:40:30 PM]: and why wouldn’t i accept you?
Powel The Idiot[6:40:59 PM]: r u soue
Powel The Idiot[6:41:02 PM]: sure
Powel The Idiot[6:41:23 PM]: i am very happy now
Powel The Idiot[6:41:34 PM]: and i promise to be a good son to you
Glamour Diva [6:43:34 PM]: i have no doubt you'd be a good son John. but tell me, when you think of a mother, what qualities do you think of? how would you want your mother to be/
Powel The Idiot[6:44:07 PM]: a good caring and loving mother
Powel The Idiot[6:44:35 PM]: a mother that will always be by my side in good and bad time
Glamour Diva [6:44:54 PM]: anything else?
Powel The Idiot[6:45:18 PM]: and to love my dad
Glamour Diva [6:45:59 PM]: well that’s very easy! your dad seems pretty easy to love. don’t you agree?
Powel The Idiot[6:46:54 PM]: yes i agree
Powel The Idiot[6:47:04 PM]: he always talk to me about love
Powel The Idiot[6:47:32 PM]: how to love a woman and never hurt them
Glamour Diva [6:48:04 PM]: really? aren’t you a bit young for that discussion?
Powel The Idiot[6:48:17 PM]: i don’t think so
Powel The Idiot[6:48:29 PM]: i love it when dad talk to me
Glamour Diva [6:49:59 PM]: so tell me more about you? do you have any friends?
Powel The Idiot[6:50:29 PM]: i have 3 friends and they are allin africa here
Glamour Diva [6:51:34 PM]: you don’t have any friends in texas?
Powel The Idiot[6:51:45 PM]: my dad has always been my friends
Powel The Idiot[6:52:07 PM]: i dont have a close friend in texas
Glamour Diva [6:52:45 PM]: would you like to have more friends in texas?
Powel The Idiot[6:52:56 PM]: yes
Powel The Idiot[6:53:07 PM]: if i meet the right one
Glamour Diva [6:53:30 PM]: okay that’s reasonable
Glamour Diva [6:53:36 PM]: anything else you’d like to tell me?
Powel The Idiot[6:53:56 PM]: can i ask you a question
Glamour Diva [6:54:19 PM]: sure?
Powel The Idiot[6:55:15 PM]: promise me that you will love my dad and never hurt him
Powel The Idiot[6:55:24 PM]: pls i dont want him to be hurt again
Powel The Idiot[6:55:27 PM]: pls mom
Glamour Diva [6:56:41 PM]: John I promise I wont hurt him. Even if I don’t become your mother I will always be your Dad's friend. And your friend too. okay?
Powel The Idiot[6:56:59 PM]: thanks
Powel The Idiot[6:57:15 PM]: i don’t want you to be his friend or even mine
Powel The Idiot[6:57:27 PM]: i want you to be his wife and my mom
Powel The Idiot[6:57:28 PM]: pls
Glamour Diva [6:58:26 PM]: Things like that take time. I haven’t even met your Dad or you yet. I promise we will talk more about this when the two of you come back to Houston. Deal?
Powel The Idiot[6:58:56 PM]: deal
Glamour Diva [6:59:22 PM]: cool! i knew there was something about you i like!
Powel The Idiot[6:59:28 PM]: what did u want me to be calling u
Glamour Diva [7:00:16 PM]: i think Glamour Diva is good for now. We can work our way up to "Mom".
Powel The Idiot[7:00:46 PM]: okay
Glamour Diva [7:01:12 PM]: do you like to called John or something else?
Powel The Idiot[7:01:55 PM]: no
Powel The Idiot[7:02:02 PM]: i want u to call me sweet son
Powel The Idiot[7:02:12 PM]: and i will call you sweet mom
Glamour Diva [7:03:20 PM]: LOL yes you are your father's son! I think I'll call you John for now. actually John, it's 1am in Nigeria. Shouldn’t you be asleep?
Powel The Idiot[7:03:48 PM]: i know
Powel The Idiot[7:03:58 PM]: but i love talking to you
Glamour Diva [7:05:26 PM]: i love talking to you too but boys your age should be sleeping. my mother used to tell me that kids grow the most during the time they are asleep. i don’t know if that's really true but don’t you want to be as tall as your Dad?
Powel The Idiot[7:06:07 PM]: i want to be
Powel The Idiot[7:06:46 PM]: okay
Powel The Idiot[7:06:58 PM]: i will be going to bed now
Powel The Idiot[7:07:07 PM]: dad want me to go to bed
Glamour Diva [7:07:19 PM]: LOL you don’t have too if you don’t want to sweetheart
Glamour Diva [7:07:26 PM]: oops!
Glamour Diva [7:07:35 PM]: if dad says so then you have too!
Powel The Idiot[7:08:06 PM]: i have to go to bed
Glamour Diva [7:08:15 PM]: ok
Powel The Idiot[7:08:15 PM]: i will try to talk to you latter
Glamour Diva [7:08:32 PM]: ok goodnight John! sweet dreams!
Powel The Idiot[7:08:44 PM]: okay
Powel The Idiot[7:08:53 PM]: my dad will come on and talk to u now
Glamour Diva [7:09:00 PM]: ok
Powel The Idiot[7:10:15 PM]: hello my wife
Powel The Idiot[7:10:21 PM]: i am back now baby
Glamour Diva [7:10:58 PM]: hi! so tell the truth...was that really John or you? lol he sounds very mature for his age!
Powel The Idiot[7:11:20 PM]: that is my son john
Powel The Idiot[7:11:38 PM]: i allways teach him hw to type and talk to people
Glamour Diva [7:12:20 PM]: i see...i have a few questions for you
Powel The Idiot[7:12:25 PM]: ok
Glamour Diva [7:13:20 PM]: are you a USA citizen? in what country was John born and why do you live in Texas when you travel so much?
Powel The Idiot[7:14:11 PM]: i am originaly from UK
Powel The Idiot[7:14:20 PM]: john was also born in UK
Powel The Idiot[7:15:05 PM]: a friend of mine ask me to come over to USA and live in Texas
Powel The Idiot[7:15:10 PM]: after i lost my parrent
Glamour Diva [7:15:42 PM]: how old were you when you lost your parents?
Powel The Idiot[7:16:02 PM]: 33
Glamour Diva [7:16:54 PM]: so this was very recent?!? i though you were a child when it happened!
Powel The Idiot[7:17:11 PM]: nope
Powel The Idiot[7:17:18 PM]: did u love talking to john?
Glamour Diva [7:18:00 PM]: yes i did! i told him so! and why are you changing the subject? still too painful to talk about?
Powel The Idiot[7:18:39 PM]: a very sad memory for me
Powel The Idiot[7:18:49 PM]: dont like talking abt it baby
Powel The Idiot[7:18:55 PM]: pls forgive me
Glamour Diva [7:19:50 PM]: i understand. but i hope one day you will feel close enough to me to tell me these things.
Powel The Idiot[7:20:11 PM]: sure
Powel The Idiot[7:20:20 PM]: that is a promise my love
Glamour Diva [7:20:46 PM]: so tell me about your friends. do you have a lot of friends/
Powel The Idiot[7:21:03 PM]: nop
Powel The Idiot[7:21:16 PM]: i have stop making friends
Powel The Idiot[7:21:26 PM]: friends has hurt me also
Powel The Idiot[7:21:43 PM]: saw my best friend making love with my wife
Glamour Diva [7:22:28 PM]: oh my. i'm very sorry baby! but who were the people in the pictures on your profile?
Powel The Idiot[7:22:28 PM]: my son is my best friend now
Glamour Diva [7:23:44 PM]: what about you and the people in the pics?
Powel The Idiot[7:24:23 PM]: that was my bus pertners
Powel The Idiot[7:24:35 PM]: u r not my friend baby
Powel The Idiot[7:24:38 PM]: u r my wife
Glamour Diva [7:25:10 PM]: LOL can't a wife be a friend too?
Powel The Idiot[7:26:05 PM]: a wife is more than a friend
Powel The Idiot[7:26:07 PM]: lol
Powel The Idiot[7:26:30 PM]: my wife or my friend?..............
Glamour Diva [7:27:19 PM]: I’d want to be both! I’d want to be the person you share your happy times with as well as your sad times
Powel The Idiot[7:27:32 PM]: wow
Powel The Idiot[7:27:38 PM]: u r very sweet my love
Powel The Idiot[7:27:42 PM]: that is nice
Glamour Diva [7:28:41 PM]: it’s true
Powel The Idiot[7:29:00 PM]: i love uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Glamour Diva [7:29:57 PM]: i wish you were here so we could talk in person
Glamour Diva [7:30:13 PM]: i'd give you the biggest, longest hug!
Powel The Idiot[7:30:30 PM]: and a sweet kiss
Glamour Diva [7:30:59 PM]: yes but only on the cheek
Powel The Idiot[7:31:09 PM]: lol
Glamour Diva [7:32:00 PM]: what’s so funny?
Powel The Idiot[7:32:28 PM]: that is am far away from u baby
Powel The Idiot[7:32:42 PM]: just cant wait to be with u
Glamour Diva [7:34:11 PM]: i know. i feel the same
Powel The Idiot[7:34:19 PM]: i love uuuuuuuuuuu
Powel The Idiot[7:34:27 PM]: my love i have to go to bed now okay
Glamour Diva [7:34:54 PM]: ok
Glamour Diva [7:34:59 PM]: good night!
Powel The Idiot[7:35:07 PM]: i will talk to u latter my love
Powel The Idiot[7:35:09 PM]: i love u
Powel The Idiot[7:35:12 PM]: pls take care
Glamour Diva [7:35:22 PM]: bye
Powel The Idiot[7:35:37 PM]: never say bye my love
Powel The Idiot[7:35:49 PM]: all u have to say is ..talk to u latte
Powel The Idiot[7:35:50 PM]: latter
Glamour Diva [7:36:04 PM]: later
Powel The Idiot[7:36:27 PM]: okay
Powel The Idiot[7:36:29 PM]: peace
Powel The Idiot[7:36:34 PM]: talk to u latter
Glamour Diva [7:36:37 PM]: one love
Powel The Idiot[7:36:37 PM]: i love uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Powel The Idiot[7:36:40 PM]: one love
Powel The Idiot[7:36:41 PM]: lol
Yahoo! Messenger [7:37:08 PM]: Powel The Idiot has signed out

I know you’re thinking, “Wow Ms. GD! He really likes you!” Well Dear Readers, as Flava Flav would say…Don’t Believe The Hype! Stay damned tuned… – GD

Dear madeindade,
Thanks for reading our little blog and thanks also for being so excited about each new installment! I appreciate your kind comments and encouragement.

Smooches,
Ms. GD

Welcome, Dear Readers, to part six of my never-ending story, The Internet Dating Chronicles Of Glamour Diva – Transatlantic/Equatorial Africa Edition (Episode 4)

So…when last we met, “Powel” continued to proclaim his undying love for me… ad nauseam, promised that he was the very model of a model British citizen and did, with malice of forethought, twist and contort the Queen’s English so much that I fear Prince Charles’ Dumbo ears might have flapped the hell off while trying to avoid the horrible sound! Oh and did I mention he proclaimed his undying love for me (Powel that is, not His Royal Highness)?

June 15, 2006

BUZZ!
Powel The Idiot [offline 4:46:33 PM]: hello my love hw u doing? and hw is the day going with u my love
Powel The Idiot [offline 4:46:47 PM]: i am online now and really missing ya
Glamour Diva [6:01:02 PM]: hello!
Glamour Diva [6:01:37 PM]: my day was good, just got home from work. I hope you and John are well?
BUZZ!
BUZZ!
Glamour Diva [6:03:04 PM]: hi
Powel The Idiot [6:03:10 PM]: hello my love
Glamour Diva [6:03:23 PM]: hello sweetness!
Powel The Idiot [6:03:39 PM]: i have really miss u my love
Powel The Idiot [6:04:06 PM]: hw is everything with u my love
Glamour Diva [6:04:06 PM]: really?
Powel The Idiot [6:04:18 PM]: yes
Glamour Diva [6:04:18 PM]: i'm good. nothing new to report
Powel The Idiot [6:04:21 PM]: and u?
Powel The Idiot [6:04:35 PM]: ok
Powel The Idiot [6:04:51 PM]: i cant stop thinking abt u mGlamour Diva
Powel The Idiot [6:05:05 PM]: i really miss talking to u last night
Glamour Diva [6:05:19 PM]: i thought you were asleep?
Powel The Idiot [6:05:30 PM]: yes
Powel The Idiot [6:05:41 PM]: but i dream abt u my love
Glamour Diva [6:06:13 PM]: you do?
Powel The Idiot [6:06:21 PM]: yes
Powel The Idiot [6:06:23 PM]: and u
Glamour Diva [6:06:24 PM]: what do you dream?
Powel The Idiot [6:06:33 PM]: and u ever dream abt me?
Powel The Idiot [6:06:58 PM]: dreaming abt our wedding day honey
Powel The Idiot [6:07:16 PM]: it was very nice and sweet honey
Glamour Diva [6:07:38 PM]: will you be upset if i say i don’t dream about you?
Powel The Idiot [6:08:01 PM]: nop i wont my love
Powel The Idiot [6:08:09 PM]: i understand u my sweet wife
Powel The Idiot [6:08:26 PM]: i love u
Glamour Diva [6:08:27 PM]: LOL i am not your wife baby
Powel The Idiot [6:08:32 PM]: lol
Glamour Diva [6:08:58 PM]: and i know you "think" you love me...
Powel The Idiot [6:09:15 PM]: lol
Glamour Diva [6:09:22 PM]: LOL its true!
Powel The Idiot [6:09:28 PM]: cant stop thinking abt u my love
Powel The Idiot [6:09:41 PM]: u r always in my mind honey
Glamour Diva [6:09:59 PM]: but we've never met
Powel The Idiot [6:10:23 PM]: i know
Powel The Idiot [6:10:32 PM]: but our heart have meet
Glamour Diva [6:11:08 PM]: are you trying to convince me or yourself?
Powel The Idiot [6:11:29 PM]: lol
Powel The Idiot [6:11:41 PM]: i am just telling u the fact my wife
Glamour Diva [6:12:17 PM]: okay Powel. I believe you
Powel The Idiot [6:12:23 PM]: we r meant to be together Glamour Diva
Glamour Diva [6:13:03 PM]: i don’t know if i believe that people are meant to be together. i think you met someone and you decide to make it work.
Powel The Idiot [6:13:16 PM]: we may meet each each other in a very funny way but that means nothing my love
Powel The Idiot [6:13:44 PM]: this is our God want us to meet my love
Glamour Diva [6:13:58 PM]: well you have a point. aren’t you sleepy? it's after 12am in Nigeria
Powel The Idiot [6:14:05 PM]: i love u
Powel The Idiot [6:14:37 PM]: just waiting for u to come online so i can talk to u my wife
Glamour Diva [6:14:42 PM]: ok
Powel The Idiot [6:14:47 PM]: hw did u know the time honey?
Glamour Diva [6:15:05 PM]: i looked it up on the internet
Powel The Idiot [6:15:22 PM]: wow
Powel The Idiot [6:15:30 PM]: that is very nice of u my love
Powel The Idiot [6:15:43 PM]: so that means u r watching after me
Glamour Diva [6:15:48 PM]: yes
Powel The Idiot [6:15:55 PM]: just like hw mother do to her kids
Glamour Diva [6:16:10 PM]: LOL
Powel The Idiot [6:16:10 PM]: that is nice of u my sweet mother
Glamour Diva [6:16:26 PM]: i am NOT your mother! lol
Powel The Idiot [6:16:34 PM]: lol
Glamour Diva [6:16:53 PM]: is John sleeping?
Powel The Idiot [6:17:04 PM]: yes my love
Glamour Diva [6:17:25 PM]: good!
Powel The Idiot [6:17:27 PM]: he try to talk to u today but u r not online by then
Powel The Idiot [6:17:45 PM]: so he went to bed and tell me to say hello to u
Glamour Diva [6:18:05 PM]: wonderful! well please give him a kiss from me okay?
Powel The Idiot [6:18:23 PM]: i will my love
Glamour Diva [6:19:18 PM]: may i ask you a question?
Powel The Idiot [6:19:31 PM]: sure
Glamour Diva [6:19:59 PM]: why do you want to be married so badly?
Powel The Idiot [6:20:20 PM]: so i don’t want to lose u
Glamour Diva [6:21:04 PM]: no...i mean why do you want to get married again when the first marriage was so bad?
Powel The Idiot [6:21:32 PM]: well i have to forget abt that i start my life again
Glamour Diva [6:21:59 PM]: okay. i have a confession to make Powel
Powel The Idiot [6:22:15 PM]: okay
Powel The Idiot [6:22:16 PM]: go one ...........
Glamour Diva [6:23:23 PM]: i've often fantasied about what it would be like to find a man like you but fantasies are often too good to be true. do you understand what i'm saying?
Powel The Idiot [6:23:54 PM]: sure i understand u Glamour Diva
Powel The Idiot [6:24:16 PM]: i told u the first day we talk that i will be always be honest with u right
Powel The Idiot [6:24:22 PM]: and that is what i am doing now my love
Powel The Idiot [6:24:34 PM]: i cant hide my feeling for u
Powel The Idiot [6:24:59 PM]: i just have to tell u hw i am feeling abt u and i soon i want to be with u
Glamour Diva [6:25:57 PM]: but i dont understand how you can have such strong feelings for me and we've never met? what if we meet and you don’t feel the same? we might only be able to be friends, not lovers.
Powel The Idiot [6:26:32 PM]: Glamour Diva that is up to u not me okay
Powel The Idiot [6:26:52 PM]: u r the one that can change ur mind abt me when we meet
Powel The Idiot [6:26:59 PM]: u r all i want honey
Powel The Idiot [6:27:32 PM]: no matter hw u look or even hw u talk can make me to stop loving u my wife
Powel The Idiot [6:27:35 PM]: i love u
Glamour Diva [6:27:43 PM]: ok
Powel The Idiot [6:28:19 PM]: just cant wait to be with u
Glamour Diva [6:28:45 PM]: i’d really do believe you Powel. but I'm uncertain. And I'm very excited about meeting you as well!
Powel The Idiot [6:29:29 PM]: pls dont be uncertain abt us honey
Powel The Idiot [6:29:46 PM]: make up ur mind and let give it a try okay
Glamour Diva [6:30:28 PM]: I think I'll feel better once you're back in Houston. I've already picked the place I want to go for dinner
Powel The Idiot [6:30:55 PM]: that is okay my love
Powel The Idiot [6:31:12 PM]: can i ask u a question and i want u to be honest abt this?
Glamour Diva [6:31:49 PM]: ok
Powel The Idiot [6:32:12 PM]: hw will u feel when we r making love together
Glamour Diva [6:32:59 PM]: lol you REALLY want to have sex don’t you?
Powel The Idiot [6:33:12 PM]: lol
Powel The Idiot [6:33:22 PM]: is a thing that we most do my love
Glamour Diva [6:34:28 PM]: i don’t know how I'll feel. how can i know? i suppose i'll be excited and feel very passionate about you but that’s all i can say. it's like asking how I think i'll feel when i give birth! I've never done it before
Glamour Diva [6:38:53 PM]: did you leave?
Powel The Idiot [6:41:23 PM]: i am here my love
Powel The Idiot [6:41:30 PM]: i just i am there with u
Glamour Diva [6:41:52 PM]: ok. are you ready for bed yet?
Powel The Idiot [6:42:22 PM]: not yet my love
Powel The Idiot [6:42:44 PM]: but if u want me t coem i will surely come
Glamour Diva [6:43:11 PM]: no! you are a grown man. you know when you're ready for bed don’t you? lol
Glamour Diva [6:43:31 PM]: may i ask another question?
Powel The Idiot [6:44:16 PM]: sure
Glamour Diva [6:44:59 PM]: when you're in africa and london, do you live in a house, flat or hotel?
Powel The Idiot [6:46:46 PM]: house
Glamour Diva [6:47:28 PM]: that’s nice! any more questions for me?
Powel The Idiot [6:47:52 PM]: yes
Glamour Diva [6:47:56 PM]: ok
Powel The Idiot [6:48:08 PM]: will u marry me? loooooooooooool=))
Glamour Diva [6:48:45 PM]: are you serious?
Powel The Idiot [6:49:20 PM]: yes Glamour Diva i am %101 serious
Glamour Diva [6:50:25 PM]: why don’t you ask me again when you come home. i'll give you an answer then
Glamour Diva [6:50:30 PM]: i promise!
Powel The Idiot [6:50:43 PM]: okay that will be great my love
Powel The Idiot [6:50:55 PM]: but give me some hope abt it?
Powel The Idiot [6:50:55 PM]: lol
Glamour Diva [6:51:18 PM]: okay...my answer is...MAYBE! lol
Powel The Idiot [6:51:28 PM]: lol
Powel The Idiot [6:51:33 PM]: maybe what
Glamour Diva [6:52:05 PM]: maybe i'll marry you...
Powel The Idiot [6:52:13 PM]: lol
Powel The Idiot [6:52:16 PM]: i love uuuuuuuuuuuuu
Powel The Idiot [6:52:22 PM]: just cant wait to be with u
Glamour Diva [6:52:45 PM]: i'm excited too!
Powel The Idiot [6:53:01 PM]: that is great
Powel The Idiot [6:53:17 PM]: i am very sure we will both be a very big and happy family
Glamour Diva [6:53:55 PM]: big! oh no! just 2 children for you
Powel The Idiot [6:54:15 PM]: sure
Powel The Idiot [6:54:19 PM]: lol
Glamour Diva [6:54:39 PM]: just john and the baby we MIGHT have together...
Powel The Idiot [6:54:52 PM]: sure
Powel The Idiot [6:55:00 PM]: i cant wait
Powel The Idiot [6:55:07 PM]: i am very excited nw
Glamour Diva [6:55:37 PM]: LOL
Powel The Idiot [6:55:59 PM]: i dont know what to say anymore
Powel The Idiot [6:56:07 PM]: i just cant wait
Glamour Diva [6:56:29 PM]: lol it's okay baby
Powel The Idiot [6:56:39 PM]: ok
Powel The Idiot [6:57:02 PM]: Glamour Diva i am very sorry to say this .. but i have to go to bed now my love
Glamour Diva [6:57:25 PM]: OK! sleep well and have peaceful dreams!
Powel The Idiot [6:57:37 PM]: sure
Powel The Idiot [6:57:46 PM]: i will surely dream abt u my love
Glamour Diva [6:57:59 PM]: good night sweet Powel!
Powel The Idiot [6:58:08 PM]: okay
Powel The Idiot [6:58:13 PM]: will u still be online?
Glamour Diva [6:58:19 PM]: yes
Glamour Diva [6:58:22 PM]: why?
Powel The Idiot [6:58:28 PM]: talking with who?
Glamour Diva [6:58:41 PM]: my friends
Powel The Idiot [6:58:48 PM]: haha
Powel The Idiot [6:58:53 PM]: well okay
Powel The Idiot [6:58:58 PM]: i trust u my love
Powel The Idiot [6:59:00 PM]: lol
Glamour Diva [6:59:07 PM]: good! i trust you too!
Powel The Idiot [6:59:40 PM]: lol
Powel The Idiot [6:59:43 PM]: okay my love
Powel The Idiot [6:59:50 PM]: i will talk to u latter okay
Powel The Idiot [6:59:55 PM]: i love uuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Powel The Idiot [7:00:02 PM]: i will really miss ya
Glamour Diva [7:00:02 PM]: okay babe! i like you too!
Powel The Idiot [7:00:25 PM]: u like me tooo..........hunnnn .. u dont love me toooo
Powel The Idiot [7:00:27 PM]: lol
Glamour Diva [7:00:34 PM]: LOL not yet...
Powel The Idiot [7:00:53 PM]: lol
Powel The Idiot [7:00:53 PM]: okay
Powel The Idiot [7:00:57 PM]: talk to u latter
Powel The Idiot [7:00:58 PM]: one love
Glamour Diva [7:01:04 PM]: bye!

Doesn’t it just make you sick, sick, sick to your stomach? But like that third candy apple you know you shouldn’t eat, you just can’t stop yourself from wolfing it down! Stay damned tuned… – GD

Cute comic found here

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