Caught Out There With The Sushi Girls™ – Episode 10

Category: , , , , , , , By Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia
I really debated posting this information. Not because I give a damn about the subject of this really juicy gossip but because I didn’t want to get all our Dear Readers excited, thinking we were back to blogging…because we aren’t! No this is just some really good gossip that I simply had to share with you! Unless you’ve already heard it then never mind. But for all of you who don’t know…THIS ONE’S FOR YOU BIOTCHES!

How many times do I have to say

To get away-get gone
Flip your shit past another lasses
Humble dwelling
You got your game, made your shot, and you got away
With a lot, but I'm not turned-on
So put away that meat you're selling
Cuz I do know what's good for me-
And I've done what I could for you
But you're not benefiting, and yet I'm sitting
Singing again, sing, sing again
How can I deal with this, if he won't get with this
M'I gonna heal from this; he won't admit to it
Nothing to figure out; I gotta get him out
It's time the truth was out that he don't give a
Shit about me
Get Gone - Fiona Apple

Are you ready? Okay…

Nonu got a baby ya’ll! Yes, THAT Nonu! No really, MA’A NONU of the 13-inch penis* and the 13-ounce brain** managed to get a woman pregnant! I know! I didn’t believe it when I read it either! But it’s so true! But wait, there’s more! The little bundle of sweetness and light is a BOY! God help him if he was born with his daddy’s eyebrows…but I digress…

But wait, there’s STILL more! The most shocking and inexplicable part of this whole sordid story is the incredible fact that the mother is NOT a white woman! No seriously yo! Not only is she not a white woman, she’s actually…get this…SAMOAN! To quote my source, who knew?! But more to the point, who would ever expect it? Lord knows the ‘Nesian brothas love themselves some white women! Unfortunately Nonu has already dumped her and moved on the next cum bucket…er, I mean Child of God. My guess is that he shut her down as soon as she told him she was in a gravid state! Which lead Ms. GD to postulate the following:

One day, nine months ago in Wellington, New Zealand in the parking lot of the local ghetto McDonald's at 9am on a Sunday morning just before church…

Unfortunate Samoan Lass: Hey Ma’a baby what’s up?
Nonu: [Ignores her and continues to talk to his boys about beer, sex, Hip Hop, sex, whiskey, sex, rugby, sex, corn beef and vodka…and sex]
USL: Ma’a please, I really need to talk to you!
Nonu: [Sighs heavily] What bitch!?
USL: I um, well you see Ma’a I um, well you remember two weeks ago when we were at your Mama’s house and I spent the night? You know, when she went to Auckland with your daddy and your brothers and your sisters and your nieces and your nephews and your cousins and your five play cousins and your Auntie Clarice who’s really not your Aunt but a family friend and…?
Nonu: Damn bitch is there a point in this shit?
USL: Well, um see we …
Nonu: Fucked! And?
USL: Okay yes but you said you didn’t have anymore condoms and I said I wasn’t on the pill and you said, “Well bitch I guess you better think positive thoughts ‘cause I’m ‘bout to nut” and…
Nonu: Bitch you fo real need to say what you wanna say! [Raises hand in classic pre-pimp slap formation]
Nonu: Bitch is this a muthafuckin hoaks?

Hey, you keep fucking you're bound to knock someone up, or get knocked up right? It was just a matter of time really. Soooooo – to totally misquote Beyoncé – He didn’t like it so he didn’t put a ring on it! [Everybody sing!] Wooohoh oh oh oh ohoh ah oh ohohoh!

Until next time Dear Readers!

Glamour Diva

P.S. Congratulations to Mils Muliaina and his thievin’ wife Haley! They are the proud parents of a bouncing baby something or other. Honestly I was too upset to give a good gotdamn! It’s over. Haley ain’t never leaving his tight, succulent little ass now! Sigh. Still no word on Tialata, Sally, Tialata’s trouser snake and the possibility of more ‘Nesian rugby babies. Sigh.

* That was for you gM! Luv ya!
**You see this is funny because the average human brain weighs about 3-pounds.

Don't be shy Dear Readers! If you have any gossip on any rugby player by all means drop us an email at or Bebo and let us know. We don't discriminate, we'll take gossip on any player from any part of the world. Don't let the gossip die people!

Are we on vacation. . .?

By Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia

Well, maybe you've noticed
Or maybe it's escaped your
because it's focused elsewhere
but galaxyMafia hasn't been
writing much on this blog
and together, with her partner
Ms. GD, haven't been podcasting
for whatever reason
but gM has her theories
which probably won't even be
read but. . .
Everybody seems bored with rugby
nobody seems to care
Everybody's got a bad case of ennui
and the apathy is like a disease
because it's affecting me. . .
and besides, gM has other things
on her mind
lots of irons in the fire
not to mention
she's gotta deal with the fact
that the hottest guy she's seen
in a while she'll never see again.
How hot was he?
well, not that you asked
cause you could care less but
he made gM forget about her
sugar bear Tialata
oh well
and Ms. GD can speak
for herself but
she's preoccupied
so. . .
guess it's time to stick a
fork in this blog. . .
'cause it's DONE!
copyright. . .2008. . .you guys have a great life. Cya, gM!!

Hey Honey!!!!!!!!!!!!

Category: , , , , , By Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia
Young, succulent chicken, just barely hatched!!!

copyright 2008. . .galaxyMafia

WTFH. . .?

Category: , , , , By Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia
galaxyMafia put this latest Tialata vid up on YouBoob, er Tube just a week ago and already close to 700 fools, ah, folks have looked at it. . .hmmmm? Usually, it takes a good six months to get that many hits for a vid of the fat, dark prop but, who knows, eh. . .? It's funny cause somebody only gave me 2 frickin' stars!!!!!!!!!

Anyhoo. . .here it is.
The song is "Feel like a woman" by MJ Blige

copyright 2008. . .galaxyMafia

Always cool. . .?

By Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia

. . .hmmm, galaxyMafia thinks Mr. Tialata should replace "cool" with, oh perhaps. . ."fat and dark". . .? Just a suggestion. . .

copyright 2008. . .galaxyMafia

Tialata's Revenge!!! (part deux)

Category: , , , , By Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia
Not that you give a ish but. . .when we last left our fat, dark antihero, he had just discovered, and he was pissed. Like, hands around Richie McCaw's neck pissed. And he vowed to get those Sushi b!tches!!!

In Tialata's Revenge, part 2, you'll find a new format (avec music. . .feelin' kinda French at the moment for some odd reason) and that our fat, dark antihero has come up with a diabiolical plot to put ya girls in tha dirt!!!!

And now, w/o further ado about nothing. . .

copyright 2008. . .galaxyMafia