Caught Out There With The Sushi Girls™ – Episode 10

Category: , , , , , , , By Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia
I really debated posting this information. Not because I give a damn about the subject of this really juicy gossip but because I didn’t want to get all our Dear Readers excited, thinking we were back to blogging…because we aren’t! No this is just some really good gossip that I simply had to share with you! Unless you’ve already heard it then never mind. But for all of you who don’t know…THIS ONE’S FOR YOU BIOTCHES!

How many times do I have to say

To get away-get gone
Flip your shit past another lasses
Humble dwelling
You got your game, made your shot, and you got away
With a lot, but I'm not turned-on
So put away that meat you're selling
Cuz I do know what's good for me-
And I've done what I could for you
But you're not benefiting, and yet I'm sitting
Singing again, sing, sing again
How can I deal with this, if he won't get with this
M'I gonna heal from this; he won't admit to it
Nothing to figure out; I gotta get him out
It's time the truth was out that he don't give a
Shit about me
Get Gone - Fiona Apple

Are you ready? Okay…

Nonu got a baby ya’ll! Yes, THAT Nonu! No really, MA’A NONU of the 13-inch penis* and the 13-ounce brain** managed to get a woman pregnant! I know! I didn’t believe it when I read it either! But it’s so true! But wait, there’s more! The little bundle of sweetness and light is a BOY! God help him if he was born with his daddy’s eyebrows…but I digress…

But wait, there’s STILL more! The most shocking and inexplicable part of this whole sordid story is the incredible fact that the mother is NOT a white woman! No seriously yo! Not only is she not a white woman, she’s actually…get this…SAMOAN! To quote my source, who knew?! But more to the point, who would ever expect it? Lord knows the ‘Nesian brothas love themselves some white women! Unfortunately Nonu has already dumped her and moved on the next cum bucket…er, I mean Child of God. My guess is that he shut her down as soon as she told him she was in a gravid state! Which lead Ms. GD to postulate the following:

One day, nine months ago in Wellington, New Zealand in the parking lot of the local ghetto McDonald's at 9am on a Sunday morning just before church…

Unfortunate Samoan Lass: Hey Ma’a baby what’s up?
Nonu: [Ignores her and continues to talk to his boys about beer, sex, Hip Hop, sex, whiskey, sex, rugby, sex, corn beef and vodka…and sex]
USL: Ma’a please, I really need to talk to you!
Nonu: [Sighs heavily] What bitch!?
USL: I um, well you see Ma’a I um, well you remember two weeks ago when we were at your Mama’s house and I spent the night? You know, when she went to Auckland with your daddy and your brothers and your sisters and your nieces and your nephews and your cousins and your five play cousins and your Auntie Clarice who’s really not your Aunt but a family friend and…?
Nonu: Damn bitch is there a point in this shit?
USL: Well, um see we …
Nonu: Fucked! And?
USL: Okay yes but you said you didn’t have anymore condoms and I said I wasn’t on the pill and you said, “Well bitch I guess you better think positive thoughts ‘cause I’m ‘bout to nut” and…
Nonu: Bitch you fo real need to say what you wanna say! [Raises hand in classic pre-pimp slap formation]
Nonu: Bitch is this a muthafuckin hoaks?

Hey, you keep fucking you're bound to knock someone up, or get knocked up right? It was just a matter of time really. Soooooo – to totally misquote Beyoncé – He didn’t like it so he didn’t put a ring on it! [Everybody sing!] Wooohoh oh oh oh ohoh ah oh ohohoh!

Until next time Dear Readers!

Glamour Diva

P.S. Congratulations to Mils Muliaina and his thievin’ wife Haley! They are the proud parents of a bouncing baby something or other. Honestly I was too upset to give a good gotdamn! It’s over. Haley ain’t never leaving his tight, succulent little ass now! Sigh. Still no word on Tialata, Sally, Tialata’s trouser snake and the possibility of more ‘Nesian rugby babies. Sigh.

* That was for you gM! Luv ya!
**You see this is funny because the average human brain weighs about 3-pounds.

Don't be shy Dear Readers! If you have any gossip on any rugby player by all means drop us an email at or Bebo and let us know. We don't discriminate, we'll take gossip on any player from any part of the world. Don't let the gossip die people!

16 comments so far.

  1. Lisa 11:53 PM, November 17, 2008
    So it wasn't a "hoaks"....
    At least it wasn't a girl with daddy's eyebrows.
  2. Anonymous 7:04 PM, November 22, 2008
    i think its ova between tialata and sally cos she caught him cheatin....hez been screwin around with loadz of white gurlz since they started goin out!!! FACT!!!!
  3. UnderBoss 10:49 PM, December 25, 2008
    OMG! I am so glad you ladies are doing well and that the gossip lives!!!! Take care and I hope to hear more soon. I'm so glad I checked your bebo page :)
  4. Anonymous 8:52 AM, January 09, 2009
    I thought you guys had decided that there was more to life than meddling in other peoples business and abandoned this evil site for good? No? Well, what does around comes around girls....that's all I have to say. You should be careful how much personal info you give away over the web.
  5. Anonymous 3:53 PM, February 13, 2009
    That was fabulous - except for that "we're not back to bloggin" bit!! Glad you're still kickin!!
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  9. natasha 2:30 AM, April 01, 2009
  10. Anonymous 6:06 PM, June 02, 2009
    nemia said he wasnt single on the good morning show thats funny cuz hes certainly actin like he is!!
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  12. tagskie 9:00 AM, August 01, 2009
    hi.. just dropping by here... have a nice day!
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  14. Anonymous 10:46 PM, November 26, 2009
    WTF??? onestt tu you yOu bitchazz FUCKZ got no lifesz ! as a matter of fact ma'a is with a WHIT CHICK ! yestt BITCHS WHITE !! fark i dnt know wea you get your lil stories from buhh i bet you DREAM of them before coming up with them yeah ? thats straight FUCKED in the headd ya'll ! i meann howzz about you POST Your real name aye?? fukk thats right !! you'll just get smacked the FUCK UPP !!

    frow the FUCK up ! write story about churr self ! coz by reading your wild imagination ! your a GOOD story tella ! haha but bitch your got a LIFE !! JUST LIVE IT ! OR BLUDY DIE ALREADYY !!!

    hava great FUCKEN DAYY !!
  15. Anonymous 5:52 PM, January 10, 2010
    No one has posted to this blog in 2 years, why are you STUPID, IGNORANT people still leaving comments on old posts!? These girls are GONE, DONE, let it fucking rest you retarded morons!
  16. オテモヤン 4:55 PM, February 24, 2010

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