I found this while searching for info on Daper Damien(Essential Poems (To Fall In Love With) by Daisy Goodwin) and I just had to break it down. I remember this poem from high school and after rereading it I found that it still bugs the hell out of me! Even as a tender, innocent teenager I found Mr. Marvell’s tone…how can I say this…fuckin’ annoyin’!


To His Coy Mistress
by Andrew Marvell

Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, lady, were no crime.

[I know that back in the day people considered thirty middle-aged but really now! Mr. Marvell is straight putting the rush on this chick! Slow ya roll Andy!]

We would sit down, and think which way
To walk, and pass our long love's day.
Thou by the Indian Ganges' side
Shoudst rubies find; I by the tide
Of Humber would complain. I would
Love you ten years before the flood,
And you should, if you please, refuse
Till the conversion of the Jews.

[Alas, I know that hyperbole is part and parcel of poetry (and so is onomatopoeia) but all he’s really trying to do is get in her panties and she’s a stupid woman and deserves every misery that befalls her if she swallows this crap!]

My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires and more slow;
An hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze;
Two hundred to adore each breast,
But thirty thousand to the rest;
An age at least to every part,
And the last age should show your heart.

[You see?!?!? It’s all about getting her nekkid!]

For, lady, you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate.
But at my back I always hear
Time's wingéd chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.

[This is just your basic “blue balls” speech. The pain! The pain! Quick, take off your panties and lie down!]

Thy beauty shall no more be found;
Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound
My echoing song; then worms shall try
That long-preserved virginity,
And your quaint honor turn to dust,
And into ashes all my lust:
The grave's a fine and private place,
But none, I think, do there embrace.

[Marvell says: You know you’re the only woman for me baby. All those other girls, they were just practice for the real thing – You! Cue: I Only Have Eyes For You by The Flamingos What’s the point of dying a virgin when you can gap your legs for me? You know I’ll rock your world baby! Cue: Give It To Me Baby by Rick James]

Now therefore, while the youthful hue
Sits on thy skin like morning dew,
And while thy willing soul transpires
At every pore with instant fires,
Now let us sport us while we may,
And now, like amorous birds of prey,
Rather at once our time devour
Than languish in his slow-chapped power.

[Marvell says: You know you want it as much as I do baby!]

Let us roll all our strength and all
Our sweetness up into one ball,
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life:
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run.

[Marvell says: I cant make you any promises about the future, that is to say commitment, but what I do know is that my dick is hard now and I got to get back to the house before Mrs. Marvell gets suspicious about where I’ve been all day!]

Kiss my ass Andrew Marvell (and no, I don't mean that in a good way...) - GD