NAME: Damien Lewis

AGE: 34 (We have the exact same birthday, 2/11 or 11/2 if you’re not American, which means he’s an inflexible, brilliant, stubborn, beautiful, insane, charming, opinionated, sweetheart of a perverse, pervy Aquarian just like me! Can you stand it?!?!?!?!?!?)

HEIGHT: 6'/1.83M

WEIGHT: Dunno but he appears to fit my “skinny guy” profile

WHY SHOULD SUSHI BE EATEN OFF HIM? The red (or as they say in Great Britain, “ginger”) hair, those ice blue eyes, that soft upper crusty voice (not to be confused with the very annoying and stiff upper lippy aristocratic Prince Charles voice), and the ability to bring a much needed touch of humanity to one of literature’s most maligned villains- Soames Forsyte of John Galsworthy’s The Forsyte Saga

WHEN SHOULD YOU EAT SUSHI OFF HIM? When he isn’t distracted by something or someone more fabulous and intriguing than you, which might be a bit tricky because Lord knows Aquarians are easily distracted!

[Is that galaxyMafia over there in the “Amen Corner”, rolling around on the floor and speaking in tongues? No need for all the histrionics, I know I’m easily distracted!]

FROM WHAT PART OF HIS BODY SHOULD YOU EAT THE SUSHI? Like most men he appears loath to get nekkid on camera (Jeffrey Archer: The Truth not withstanding and that could have been a body double) therefore I have no idea if his body is all dimpled, pockmarked or woefully out of shape so I’ll continue to use my imagination

WHERE SHOULD YOU BE WHEN YOU EAT THE SUSHI OFF HIM? In a boarded up, old English country house far away from any distractions

HOW SHOULD YOU EAT SUSHI OFF HIM? Like he's the last scone at an English tea party and the only thing that stands between you and him is Robbie Coltrane

PROPENSITY FOR VIOLENCE: So low as to be nonexistent. He’s an Aquarian so you’d be lucky if he remembered ever having met you much less the time you spent together with your mouth all over his naked body

STALKER QUOTIENT: -1000000 (increases exponentially if he thinks you might be interested in a commitment. He’ll gnaw his own foot off and yours too to get out of that!)

[Shut up galaxyMafia…]

SHOULD/COULD/WOULD YOU QUIT YOUR JOB FOR HIM? Do you like getting your feelings hurt?

IS HE WORTH BEING PHOTOGRAPHED GIVING KARL ROVE A TONGUE BATH WHILE BEING ANALLY PROBED BY RICK SANTORUM? Heavens to Betsey I do declare – NO!

IF HE WANTED TO USE YOUR PLACE AS A SAFE HOUSE WHILE AVOIDING CAPTURE AND CERTAIN PROSECUTION BY THE FEDS FOR BITCH SLAPPING EVERYONE WHO HAD A HAND IN NOT GETTING NEW ORLEANS THE FINANCIAL AIDE IT NEEDED TO REBUILD ITS LEVEES SEEING AS HOW EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT KNOWS THAT LOUISIANA (as well as Mississippi and Alabama) IS BARELY ABLE TO FEED, HOUSE AND EDUCATE ITSELF (and has been in dire need of assistance for umpteen years now) MUCH LESS MAKE MAJOR STRUCTURAL REPAIRS AND IMPROVEMENTS TO ANYTHING IN ITS STATE? Are you joking? I’d help him bitch slap everyone involved as well as kick them all in the nut sack ‘cause you know most of those ignorant assholes where [white]men any damn way!

WOULD YOU HELP HIM BLOW UP HALLIBURTON, ALL ITS SUBSIDIARY COMPANIES AND THE SWISS BANK WHERE DICK CHENEY KEEPS HIS BILLIONS (Only on a holiday when the buildings are empty of course)? Do you really have to ask?

Are redheads in Britain called "ginger" beacause of the Red Ginger plant? - GD