Random Randomness

Category: , , , , , , By Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia
I’m so lazy today. All I want to do is surf the net and listen to Van Hunt. Sigh!

Fear And Self-loathing In My Dreams

I had the worst dream Friday night/Saturday morning. I can’t remember all of it but apparently in this dream I’d been given a newborn baby, a boy. Something happened and I couldn’t take care of it so I put it in a safe and locked it away. Sometime later I remembered that I’d left the baby in the safe and I started to panic. I could just feel that I’d killed him! So with much trepidation I went back to where I’d hidden the baby and opened the safe. To my great joy he was still alive but very red in the face like he’d been left in a hot car instead of an airless safe. I took him out and ran like crazy thinking all the while that I was a stupid woman and should never be trusted with a kid. I kept thinking that I’d left him in that safe and now he was going to be brain damaged and it was all my fault! I swear I felt so much love for that kid and so much confusion and torment. It was so awful that the grief woke me up!

But what does it all mean?
American Football Is For Pussies!

I love Rugby. Lots of big, sweaty, burly men running freely about a well mowed field of green grass in the shortest of short-shorts. No helmets or long pants to obscure the fine, well muscled, view. No cumbersome padding and plastic body armor to get in the way of grabbing each other, throwing each other to the ground, dog piling, body checking, rubbing up against each other…

Like I said, I love Rugby!

Bite my zaftig ass Roeper!

One of my favorite magazines, Bitch (no jokes please…well okay, but just one), has a great article in the current issue about those Dove “Campaign for Real Beauty” ads, you know the ones featuring the “full figured” women? It seems most people, and by most people I mean men, find them offensive. You’d think men would welcome the chance to see “any” beautiful woman in her underwear but nooooooo dear reader, that simply ain’t the case.

Leading the shallow, misinformed charge is Richard Roeper of the Chicago Sun-Times and Ebert & Roeper fame. This misogynist bastard had the nerve to rant about how atrocious the women in the ads were because they were too fat (July 31, 2005). Too Fat?!?!? Are you on crack Roeper? Let me break it down for you: The women in those ads are normal. As distressing as that thought may seem jackass it’s true. All those models, actresses, singers and other women in the entertainment industry that you drool over are actually 20 or more pounds underweight. Have you really become so brainwashed that you think a woman who is 5 feet, 10 inches tall and weighs 110 pounds is normal? The fact is that most American women are between 5” 4’ and 5’ 6”. We weigh 130-150 lbs. These ranges vary according to age and ethnicity but basically we stay pretty much in that range.

And why are you and the rest of mankind so overly concerned with women’s bodies anyway? I get so damned tired of some ill-informed man telling me how to dress, fuck, behave, give birth (or not to give birth), medicate my post-partum depression (or not medicate it)! I swear I could just smack that smug, self-satisfied look of his face!

Oh Canada…you cheeky monkey…

Ok there is this really hot guy I met online a while back. We’ll call him Steven (‘cause that’s his name) and he’s so damn fine! What a hot piece of ass (I’ve seen it, there was so much steam rising off of it that it melted my webcam)! But alas we are both poor as church mice and can’t afford to travel for international sushi body shots. And did I mention he’s a fireman? [Insert hose jokes here] That smile! Those Eyes! That warm, maple syrup voice on my callnotes! Dare I say it? I think I’m crushing! Wentworth who?

Still lazy but now I’m hungry. - GD

1 comment so far.

  1. Anonymous 11:24 AM, October 16, 2005
    baby girl you make me blush reading this, so sweet. we will meet and do all the things we need to do to one another, over and over and ..... kisses , Steve

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