Wentworth Miller - The Obsession Begins
Another day, another blog entry about Wentworth Miller...Well as you all know I, Glamour Diva, am just as caught up as the rest of America seems to be with the enigmatic young Mr. Miller. To quote Shakespeare, he truly is a man of wax! But as I wrote in my previous post, something is definitely amiss. Now galaxyMafia is usually the big conspiracy theorists but I can’t help feeling that the publicity machine whirring behind Mr. Miller is not totally on the up and up (well as up and up as publicity machines can be).
Case in point: My mother subscribes to TV Guide and every week for the past year she’s been receiving it with no problems. In fact, they started sending her two copies and continue to do so even after she informed them of the situation. Now along comes the week of October 2-9 with Mr. Miller’s striking visage on the cover and guess what? No Guide In The Mailbox! As you can imagine I was as distraught as distraught could be! All those weeks of CSI 1, 2 and 3, Law & Order 1-5, Lost, Desperate White Women…er, I mean “Housewives”, etc. and the one edition I gave a damn about never comes! I tried to keep an open mind, after all even the post office needs time to regroup after a hurricane. But when I started once again receiving my mail, my deceased fathers mail, my neighbor’s mail, my regular junk mail and two brand-spanking-new TV Guides for next week, I knew things had gone horribly, horribly wrong- Some one had (Gasp!) stolen my mother’s copy of TV Guide!
This is only the beginning dear readers. When normally rational people feel compelled to steal an old lady’s $2.49 magazine it can only mean that a great and sinister power is at work here and I ain’t talking about Lucifer! Beelzebub has his hands full pulling Karl Rove and Dick Cheney’s puppet strings! No dear, dear readers, evil this all-encompassing can only be perpetrated by base, heathenistic, creatures from depths far deeper than hell. That’s right dear readers; I’m speaking of (Gasp!) Marketing Orcs!
The Marketing Orcs have studied us like computer geeks study Perl (I guess that would make me a computer geek by association ‘cause I know what Perl is) and they know what floats our collective boats…all of us…each of us…every damn one! How else can you explain the mass hysteria surrounding this man? The last man to garner this much attention so quickly was Matthew McConaughey and we all know how that ended right? Well the Marketing Orcs learned a valuable lesson with Mr. McConaughey: strong willed, in your face, pot smoking, late night bongo playing Texans are difficult to control. It doesn’t matter if they’re pretty with bodies like Grecian statues; the outward appearance of conformity with a generous sprinkling of mystery is what lulls and beguiles the American public into complete submission.
I promise you dear readers; Ms. GD will remain stalwart in her efforts to get to the bottom of the Wentworth Miller Conundrum! No Prison Break episode will remain unwatched, no magazine article will be left unread, no webpage unsurfed, and no Prison Break Season 1 DVD unsought!
Case in point: My mother subscribes to TV Guide and every week for the past year she’s been receiving it with no problems. In fact, they started sending her two copies and continue to do so even after she informed them of the situation. Now along comes the week of October 2-9 with Mr. Miller’s striking visage on the cover and guess what? No Guide In The Mailbox! As you can imagine I was as distraught as distraught could be! All those weeks of CSI 1, 2 and 3, Law & Order 1-5, Lost, Desperate White Women…er, I mean “Housewives”, etc. and the one edition I gave a damn about never comes! I tried to keep an open mind, after all even the post office needs time to regroup after a hurricane. But when I started once again receiving my mail, my deceased fathers mail, my neighbor’s mail, my regular junk mail and two brand-spanking-new TV Guides for next week, I knew things had gone horribly, horribly wrong- Some one had (Gasp!) stolen my mother’s copy of TV Guide!
This is only the beginning dear readers. When normally rational people feel compelled to steal an old lady’s $2.49 magazine it can only mean that a great and sinister power is at work here and I ain’t talking about Lucifer! Beelzebub has his hands full pulling Karl Rove and Dick Cheney’s puppet strings! No dear, dear readers, evil this all-encompassing can only be perpetrated by base, heathenistic, creatures from depths far deeper than hell. That’s right dear readers; I’m speaking of (Gasp!) Marketing Orcs!
The Marketing Orcs have studied us like computer geeks study Perl (I guess that would make me a computer geek by association ‘cause I know what Perl is) and they know what floats our collective boats…all of us…each of us…every damn one! How else can you explain the mass hysteria surrounding this man? The last man to garner this much attention so quickly was Matthew McConaughey and we all know how that ended right? Well the Marketing Orcs learned a valuable lesson with Mr. McConaughey: strong willed, in your face, pot smoking, late night bongo playing Texans are difficult to control. It doesn’t matter if they’re pretty with bodies like Grecian statues; the outward appearance of conformity with a generous sprinkling of mystery is what lulls and beguiles the American public into complete submission.
I promise you dear readers; Ms. GD will remain stalwart in her efforts to get to the bottom of the Wentworth Miller Conundrum! No Prison Break episode will remain unwatched, no magazine article will be left unread, no webpage unsurfed, and no Prison Break Season 1 DVD unsought!
One Obsession to rule them all. One Obsession to find them,
One Pretty, Green-eyed, SOB to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Marketing where the Shadows lie. (sorry Mr. Tolkien) – GD
Check out www.wentworth-miller.net for some scans from it.