Tasty Monday Or...Mon Beau Garçon Français (My Beautiful French Boy)
I’ve found a new young chicken to drool over! He is just the livin’ end I tells ya…The Livin’ End! From the top of his fashionably disheveled head to the tip of his very French nose he is Beauté personified!
NAME: Louis Garrel
AGE: 21 (It just seems wrong somehow that a person who is technically an adult could be born in 1983. 1983! In 1983 I was…well let’s just say I wasn’t born in 1983 and leave it at that. Shall we?)
HEIGHT: Dunno
WEIGHT: Dunno but he appears to fit my “skinny guy” profile
WHY SHOULD SUSHI BE EATEN OFF HIM? Because he’s all French and nubile and those big brown eyes just drill right through you…Sacre bleue!
WHEN SHOULD YOU EAT SUSHI OFF HIM? First thing in the morning after you’ve spent the whole night in his arms because you fell asleep reading Moliére aloud to him
FROM WHAT PART OF HIS BODY SHOULD YOU EAT THE SUSHI? From the right side of his face where he has most of his moles
WHERE SHOULD YOU BE WHEN YOU EAT THE SUSHI OFF HIM? In a three story walk-up overlooking the Seine
HOW SHOULD YOU EAT SUSHI OFF HIM? Like he's the last baguette at a picnic in front of the Eiffel Tower on a clear Spring day and the only thing that stands between you and him is Marcel Marceau
PROPENSITY FOR VIOLENCE: Hmmm…I don’t think he’s the violent type. I think he’s more like the get really depressed, drink and smoke too much and read Descartes all night then cry himself to sleep because you left him type
STALKER QUOTIENT: -100 (increases exponentially if he thinks you aren’t taking him seriously because of his age…he has an old soul)
SHOULD/COULD/WOULD YOU QUIT YOUR JOB FOR HIM? Uh…as Whitney Houston would say, Hell To The No! He’s too young and not nearly rich enough for you to risk looking like an idiot!
IS HE WORTH BEING PHOTOGRAPHED GIVING KARL ROVE A TONGUE BATH WHILE BEING ANALLY PROBED BY RICK SANTORUM WHILE ALSO GIVING JOHN ROBERTS AND SAMUEL ALITO HAND JOBS? Quoth Whitney Houston – Hell To The NO!
IF HE WANTED TO USE YOUR PLACE AS A SAFE HOUSE WHILE AVOIDING CAPTURE AND CERTAIN PROSECUTION BY THE FEDS FOR BITCH SLAPPING THE ENTIRE DEMOCRATIC PARTY FOR BEING SPINLESS, SONS OF BITCHES? Hold on a sec, I’m getting the guest room ready…
WOULD YOU HELP HIM CORNER WENTWORTH MILLER IN A DARK ALLEY, PULL THE PRETTY’S PANTS DOWN AND SPANK HIS TAUT, SUPPLE ASS WITH THE FUR COVERED SIDE OF A SMALL LEATHER PADDLE? Do you really have to ask?
For the record, Ms. GD does not condone hunting down and paddling celebrities…but she loves fantasizing about it! - GD
NAME: Louis Garrel
AGE: 21 (It just seems wrong somehow that a person who is technically an adult could be born in 1983. 1983! In 1983 I was…well let’s just say I wasn’t born in 1983 and leave it at that. Shall we?)
HEIGHT: Dunno
WEIGHT: Dunno but he appears to fit my “skinny guy” profile
WHY SHOULD SUSHI BE EATEN OFF HIM? Because he’s all French and nubile and those big brown eyes just drill right through you…Sacre bleue!
WHEN SHOULD YOU EAT SUSHI OFF HIM? First thing in the morning after you’ve spent the whole night in his arms because you fell asleep reading Moliére aloud to him
FROM WHAT PART OF HIS BODY SHOULD YOU EAT THE SUSHI? From the right side of his face where he has most of his moles
WHERE SHOULD YOU BE WHEN YOU EAT THE SUSHI OFF HIM? In a three story walk-up overlooking the Seine
HOW SHOULD YOU EAT SUSHI OFF HIM? Like he's the last baguette at a picnic in front of the Eiffel Tower on a clear Spring day and the only thing that stands between you and him is Marcel Marceau
PROPENSITY FOR VIOLENCE: Hmmm…I don’t think he’s the violent type. I think he’s more like the get really depressed, drink and smoke too much and read Descartes all night then cry himself to sleep because you left him type
STALKER QUOTIENT: -100 (increases exponentially if he thinks you aren’t taking him seriously because of his age…he has an old soul)
SHOULD/COULD/WOULD YOU QUIT YOUR JOB FOR HIM? Uh…as Whitney Houston would say, Hell To The No! He’s too young and not nearly rich enough for you to risk looking like an idiot!
IS HE WORTH BEING PHOTOGRAPHED GIVING KARL ROVE A TONGUE BATH WHILE BEING ANALLY PROBED BY RICK SANTORUM WHILE ALSO GIVING JOHN ROBERTS AND SAMUEL ALITO HAND JOBS? Quoth Whitney Houston – Hell To The NO!
IF HE WANTED TO USE YOUR PLACE AS A SAFE HOUSE WHILE AVOIDING CAPTURE AND CERTAIN PROSECUTION BY THE FEDS FOR BITCH SLAPPING THE ENTIRE DEMOCRATIC PARTY FOR BEING SPINLESS, SONS OF BITCHES? Hold on a sec, I’m getting the guest room ready…
WOULD YOU HELP HIM CORNER WENTWORTH MILLER IN A DARK ALLEY, PULL THE PRETTY’S PANTS DOWN AND SPANK HIS TAUT, SUPPLE ASS WITH THE FUR COVERED SIDE OF A SMALL LEATHER PADDLE? Do you really have to ask?
For the record, Ms. GD does not condone hunting down and paddling celebrities…but she loves fantasizing about it! - GD
