Well folks, Valentine’s Day is only a month away, and it got galaxyMafia to thinking (no, that wasn’t an earthquake. . .it was the sound of the wheels turning in my brain) about how she hasn’t gone on a “real” date in about three years. And by “real” date, she means someone she would actually be excited to dress up and/or put on make-up and/or provocative lingerie for; someone she wouldn’t mind making out with on the couch after all is said and done and the check is paid (by said exciting date, bien sur!). The whole concept of Valentine’s Day usually sets galaxyMafia’s teeth on edge (which sucks because she paid a lot for this dazzling smile), what with all the hearts and flowers and folks coupling up like it’s the second coming of Noah’s Ark. Specifically, she can’t stand how the Valentine marketing orcs (to borrow a phrase from Ms. GD) make women (never men, only women) feel like they are fat, ugly, worthless and loveless if they can’t get a date on the big Feb 14. It’s the one day that reduces married women and those gals in relationships (committed or otherwise) to jealous shrews, holding onto their men with such fierce tenacity even the Jaws of Life couldn’t set the guy free. These women spend the month leading up to the Big Day on the verge of a nervous breakdown (go Pedro Almovadar!), making all sort of unholy alliances to keep from getting dumped before Cupid comes to town. And once le jour d’amour has passed, they kick the slob to the curb themselves.
And what becomes of the single unattached female? Why, she spends her time screeching to anybody within a twenty mile radius how she’s glad she doesn’t have man because she’s an independent woman who can take care of herself and do her own thing and by the way, she’s got her own house, her own car, a good job and. . .
. . .and then she cries vehemently into her pillow at night, staining those lovely 500-threat count sheets because the one thing she doesn’t have is some jackass to get on her damn nerves like all her friends.
And so what of galaxyMafia. . .? Will she spit and hiss at Valentine’s Day (again) or will she go out and find herself some bloke to take her to a nice restaurant, and then make like a banana and spilt. . .after all, she’s got two (count ‘em, folks) two books to revise and a new job to secure if she hopes to make it to the bottom of the world this summer for Tri-Nations.
As a matter of fact (or fiction, take yer pick), galaxyMafia is thinking about embarking upon the GREAT VALENTINE’S DAY CHALLENGE – one month to find a half-decent, attractive, tall (over 6") man to buy her some fried oysters at Kemah.
So guys and dolls, do you think galaxyMafia can do it? Will she find a date in thirty days? Or will she end up on the 14th of February sitting in front of a computer (hopefully her own), revising chapter seven of her novel?
As they used to say on those old television shows. . .
Stay tuned. . .or, logged onto the Internet, rather!
Copyright 2007. . .galaxyMafia left work early because she was shaking and feverish. . .she will take this as a sign as to how her hot make-out session will go!!