OSCAR Congrats
The 2007 Academy Awards aired last night, and since she was too lazy to write her “Oscar predictions” post, galaxyMafia figured she could at least congratulate the winners, and provide you with a little insight as to who got to take home a gold statue and the real reason why. . .
BEST PICTURE: “The Departed”
Official reason it won: A gritty, well-written crime drama about corrupt cops and the FBI agents who love them, this urban drama featured great directing, marvelous acting and a kick ass plot.
Real reason it won: Did you see the producer? I don’t care if he is a limey, the members of the Academy figured out pretty quick that they should cast a vote for his film, or swim with the damn fishes, yo!
BEST DIRECTOR: Martin Scorsese for directing “The Departed”
Official reason it won: After directing so many classics, and being snubbed so many times, it was Marty’s year to get what he deserved seventeen movies ago.
Real reason it won: So Marty could die in damn, peace, already! You got ya damn gold statue, Marty. Now you can stop hollering and screaming about it!
BEST ACTOR: Forest Whitaker in “The King of Scotland”
Official reason he won: Because his take on the megalomaniac Sudanese leader Idi Amin was flawless, brilliant and inspiring.
Real reason he won: To keep them black folks from hollerin’ since Eddie lost.
BEST ACTRESS: Helen Mirren in “The Queen”
Official reason she won: Because her take on England’s Queen Elizabeth was flawless, brilliant and inspiring.
Real reason she won: Because nobody wanted to give it to that harpy Meryl Streep.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Alan Sorkin in “Little Miss Sunshine”
Official reason he won: Because his acting with flawless, brilliant and inspiring.
Real reason he won: Because Eddie Murphy is still the guy who played Gumby, starred in Pluto Nash and has major baby mamma drama with Scary Spice.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Jennifer Hudson in “Dreamgirls”
Official reason she won: Because her acting (and singing) was flawless, brilliant and inspiring.
Real reason she won: Because we’re all sick to death of Beyonce and wanted to make her insanely jealous
copyright 2007. . .galaxyMafia. . .wouldn't mind a Best Original Screenplay Oscar. . .
BEST PICTURE: “The Departed”
Official reason it won: A gritty, well-written crime drama about corrupt cops and the FBI agents who love them, this urban drama featured great directing, marvelous acting and a kick ass plot.
Real reason it won: Did you see the producer? I don’t care if he is a limey, the members of the Academy figured out pretty quick that they should cast a vote for his film, or swim with the damn fishes, yo!
BEST DIRECTOR: Martin Scorsese for directing “The Departed”Official reason it won: After directing so many classics, and being snubbed so many times, it was Marty’s year to get what he deserved seventeen movies ago.
Real reason it won: So Marty could die in damn, peace, already! You got ya damn gold statue, Marty. Now you can stop hollering and screaming about it!
BEST ACTOR: Forest Whitaker in “The King of Scotland”
Official reason he won: Because his take on the megalomaniac Sudanese leader Idi Amin was flawless, brilliant and inspiring.
Real reason he won: To keep them black folks from hollerin’ since Eddie lost.
BEST ACTRESS: Helen Mirren in “The Queen”
Official reason she won: Because her take on England’s Queen Elizabeth was flawless, brilliant and inspiring.
Real reason she won: Because nobody wanted to give it to that harpy Meryl Streep.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Alan Sorkin in “Little Miss Sunshine”
Official reason he won: Because his acting with flawless, brilliant and inspiring.
Real reason he won: Because Eddie Murphy is still the guy who played Gumby, starred in Pluto Nash and has major baby mamma drama with Scary Spice.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Jennifer Hudson in “Dreamgirls”
Official reason she won: Because her acting (and singing) was flawless, brilliant and inspiring.
Real reason she won: Because we’re all sick to death of Beyonce and wanted to make her insanely jealous
copyright 2007. . .galaxyMafia. . .wouldn't mind a Best Original Screenplay Oscar. . .
