A Very Random UnBirthday To Me…To Me

Category: , By Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia
A very merry unbirthday
To me?
To you
A very merry unbirthday
For me?
For you
Now blow the candle out, my dear
And make your wish come true
A very merry unbirthday to you

The Unbirthday Song from Disney’s Alice in Wonderland
Music & Lyrics by Sammy Fain & Bob Hilliard

Sigh. Once again Ms. GD’s birthday has come and gone in a relatively uneventful blaze of glory. I’ve noticed a pattern here recently; my last birthday involved doing something “nice” for someone else; something I wouldn’t ordinarily want to do. For example, last year I was guilted into spending my actual birthday afternoon at an old High School friend’s son’s first birthday party. Sure, Ms. GD love the kids BUT the party was way out in the boondocks! And then there were all these couples with their children and there I was trying to look happy with my damn near middle aged, childless self!

It’s not like a planned it this way. When I was in my early twenties I just wasn’t thinking about marriage and family and all the things that come with it. I never once thought about having a significant other much less a husband, I mean, not seriously anyway. I never thought I’d meet someone I could stand to be with for rest of my life! And after watching so many relationships spontaneously combust all around me I suppose I just internalized all those negative feelings and tried to ignore my very positive feelings of wanting to connect with another human being on an emotional, romantic level.

But now that I am damn near middle aged with only one egg left, I can’t help thinking about what could have been. Should I have let myself be impregnated by the paranoid schizophrenic? I’d have a beautiful, biracial, teenaged child by now. Or maybe I should have married the very short, short dicked Nigerian? I would have had a lovely home, cars, cash, property and all the trappings of being steadfastly upper middleclass. But then I’d most likely be bitter, sexually frustrated and headed for divorce court too.

Sigh. This is the downside of birthdays Dear Readers, all the introspection and self-doubt. I only want a husband and children because I think I’m an old lady and I’ll never have them!

But things are looking up! This year’s birthday, while not a rollicking goodtime, turned out to be quite nice indeed. Mama Diva and I took my other Niece Diva back to college Sunday night. I didn’t really want to do it because it was my birthday and I wasn’t done wallowing in self-pity yet but also because I hate long drives. But Mama Diva is getting up in age and doesn’t like to drive at night so she asked me to drive us there and back. I don’t get to spend much time with my sister’s children so this impromptu outing was rather nice. I got to catch up with my niece and see her dorm and it’s always nice spending time with my mother. On the way back home we stopped at Sonic and got diet cherry limeaides and sang along with the radio. We talked about what was going on in her life and how she felt about aging. That really helped me gain some perspective and I felt a little better when I got home.

So all in all my UnBirthday was a very good UnBirthday indeed! Still…can’t help but wonder what a Glamour Divette would look like…and feel like in my arms. Sigh. – GD

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