Shutting Up Is Hard To Do
They say that shutting up is hard to doAnd we know, we know that it's true
Don't speak another word
Instead of talking trash I wish someone would kick your ass instead
Sung to the tune of Breaking Up Is Hard To Do by Neil Sedaka (Original lyrics found here )
There have been many people I’ve wanted to flip off over the last few months I just haven’t had the time with all the work, work, rugby foolishness, work and rugby foolishness. But now I’m ready to…go there…and you are cordially invited! And for all you rugby lovers out there, don’t worry babes, I got you covered. Now, on to the verbal smack downs:
This week’s list of people whose lips I’d like to permanently zip are:
All the current Republican candidates - Zip your lips! Ronald Reagan is dead. His policies live on but he is most certainly dead. Please stop invoking his name as is you’re standing over a boiling cauldron with newt eyes just waiting to be added! You could reanimate the corpse of Theodore Roosevelt (big stick included) and while impressive it would still not draw attention away from the fact that all of you still suckle at the teat of Dick Cheney and his faithful pooch Bush! The American people are on to you…well, at least those of us with more than two brain cells to rub together. Sure the Democrats aren’t much better but at least they’re trying…a little. Okay so they’re still talking about maybe making some changes but at least that’s a start! Your butts seem to still be firmly nailed to your party’s planks of almost thirty years ago! In the name of everything that is sacred and holy please just – Shut Up!
The Democratic Party - Close yo mouf! Oh you make me so sick! This is not the time to be sweet! America doesn’t need a kinder, gentler Democratic Party! What we need is a political party that isn’t afraid to put its foot on the neck of the Republicans! The American people voted you to power last year and you’ve done nothing but whine. You asked for a timetable on pulling out of Iraq, Cheney growled at you and you scattered like ants. You can’t play nice with Republicans because they don’t know how. You have to act tough even if you aren’t. Taking the high road is so 1976 people! You don’t have to beg for scraps at the feet of those jerks like Dickensian street urchins! To paraphrase Sean Connery in The Untouchables: They pull a knife, you pull a gun. They send one of yours to the hospital, you send one of theirs to the morgue. That’s the Washington D.C. way! And that's how you get the Republicans. You may not be the best people for the job Democrats but you’re all we’ve got so step up, do what ya do playas and – Shut Up!
Graham "Ted" Henry – Shut your cake hole! Ted…Ted…Ted. You act as if you’re already carrying that World Cup trophy around in your back pocket! You talk and you talk and you talk, pissing off players, coaches and whole countries as you go. Yes the All Blacks are a force to be reckoned with but the fat lady hasn’t sung yet! You pulled twenty-one (Chris Masoe doesn’t count) of your best players out of the Super 14 to do God only knows what thus handing over the whole series to the South Africans. Those same players came back broken up and busted up and utterly useless. The players you left to pick of the Super 14 pieces are also so bruised and battered from constantly playing in overdrive that they might not make it through the NPC and even if they do make it through your sorry ass probably won’t even reward them with a spot on the World Cup team! And furthermore, let’s be honest here, the ABs haven’t had any real competition since last year’s Tri-Nations. Everyone (except Canada) is too busy worrying about their own provincial championships and the World Cup to send their best players to waste 80 minutes with you. Listen and listen well Mr. Henry – the world loves the All Blacks but that doesn’t mean it loves YOU! You better pray that come September the rest of the planet isn’t so tired of your shit talking that they take it out on your players. In other words – Shut Up!
Shut Up! Shut Up! Shut Up!
Sigh! These politicians and the rugby ain’t gone worry me! – GD
