You keep tellin’ me lies
But to your surprise
Look, I've got somethin' for y'all
Since you're
Caught out there
Kelis - Caught Out There

Two Girls, an All Black and a Camera Phone

An unidentified woman advertises on an Internet dating site asking for other women to join her and an All Black in a threesome. A local, unidentified Christchurch woman answers the advert and meets up with the two freaks, er…I mean “consenting adults” at a local hotel after one of the “prominent player’s” test matches earlier this year. Mating ensues, no doubt of the most debauched variety, until all are spent and completely satisfied.

Or were they?

The once shy and blushing flower from the CHCH gives the mystery AB a shocking 4 out of 10 for ability. Ouch! But not to worry, she still has those lovely pics of her and the naked AB to keep her warm at night. Too bad a local NZ newspaper was too cheap and cowardly, er…I mean honorable, to pony up the $10,000 ($7,752.84 US) she asked for or she could have bought herself a mink covered electric blanket…and notoriety to last at least 30 minutes!

Amateurs!

[Thanks for the heads up Kristin! We love you girl!]

Now It All Makes Sense!

Gentlemen of the world, get thee to New Zealand for all the nookie you can stand! It seems the Kiwi ladies have quite the reputation. A condom company – natch – did a survey that found NZ women are the most promiscuous women in the world! THE…WORLD! The funny thing is they tend to have more sex partners then their male counterparts. Odd. So if they aren’t fucking Kiwi dudes then who the hell are they fucking?

Backpackers and tree huggers!

Now we know why all those foreign, crunchy granola types are always heading down south. They’re looking for natural wonders but it ain’t the flora and fauna of the land Dear Readers. Apparently it’s the ease with which the women gap their legs! But on a sad note, it seems that with their sexual freedom there is also more than a bit of dissatisfaction with the sex itself. The only country reporting more sexual dissatisfaction was Japan. Looks like the Kiwi Lasses have a bit of a self-esteem problem as well. I suggest they try fucking more All Blacks and trying to sell the stories and pictures…or maybe a sex tape? Don’t scoff, it worked for Paris Hilton!

And In Other Sad New Zealander News…

The NZers are still blaming the ref for their RWC loss but this time they’re SERIOUS! E Gads people! Grow the hell up and move the fuck on!

Until next time Dear Readers...