Academy Award winner Morgan Freeman and Golden Globe Nominee Wentworth Miller star in a remake of the 1959 Lana Turner classic (itself a remake), “Imitation of Life”.

Why this movie should be remade starring these two lug nuts?

Because Freeman lends poise, confidence and assurance to every character he plays – that is, the non-threatening Negro white audiences marvel at and long to root for.

Because Wentworth Miller fans need something, anything to finally convince them that he’s a zebra, and Miller needs another role in which he can exercise his ethnicity (and no, “The Human Stain”, hot, steaming mess that it was, doesn’t count).

Because Freeman would be terrific as the gentle, wise personal driver who befriends his boss (Tom Hanks as the CEO of a Fortune 500 conglomerate), sharing anecdotes, vinaigrettes and snapshots of the challenges they both face raising high-maintenance, recalcitrant sons.

Because Miller would be delicious as the zebra trying to pass for white at said Fortune 500 conglomerate, much to the resignation of Freeman and the disappointment of Hanks.

And finally, because Wentworth Miller running down the street behind the casket carrying a dead Freeman screaming, “DADDY!! DADDY!!” (while Mariah Carey sings the Mahalia Jackson classic, “Troubles of the World”) would be too damn perfect!!

2006 galaxyMafia. . .hopes that Wentworth Miller will have a lovely and anticipatory time here in the great soverign nation of Texas. Yee haw, y'all!!!