Last night, galaxyMafia downloaded, and subsequently watched the Bulls vs Chiefs Super 14 match. In a word, it was boring, and that’s putting it nicely, which is what good Southern gals like galaxyMafia do. But, to be honest, she wasn’t looking for a thrill-a-minute try-scoring bonanza that would have had her screaming at the top of her lungs, leaving her limp and dazed. The boys from Hamilton are as dull as butter knives, and in that respect they did not disappoint. Truthfully, galaxyMafia only downloaded the game to check out our sexy Sione, to see how he played his first game since his injury, and to snag some hot screen caps.

Alas, it was not meant to be.

Lauaki did as well as was expected from the “big man” (e.g. 265lbs, thanks Debalina for the conversion!), and his hair was looking, as Ms. GD would say, “right” but the monkeys in charge of broadcasting rugby in South Africa are more interested in showcasing the locals, or their obscene, skanky cheerleaders. Basically, these gals are low-rent strippers, not even worthy of the delusional “exotic dancer” title. With little rhythm, and hardly any coordination or choreography, they prance around in denim booty shorts and cowboy boots. Are they trying to dip it? Pop it? Twerk it? Drop it? The world may never know.

Anyway, Sione made lots of bruising, mind-numbing tackles, the kind that got Jerry Collins the cover of NZRugby magazine however, the monkeys weren’t impressed with Sione’s efforts, apparently. Maybe they didn't appreciate the way he took Brian Habana to school. Honestly, galaxyMafia saw more close-ups of Sione when he was on the sidelines (looking quite tasty in jeans and a white button down shirt) during the Hurricanes vs Chiefs game.

galaxyMafia is a bit upset that she wasted $3.99, and she may wait until the Chiefs play at home in Hamilton before she throws good money after bad. Maybe Sione will get some respect in the town where he’s known for brawling in pubs because he can’t hold his grog.

In the meantime, galaxyMafia thought of some ways Wax might earn more “face time” during games.



TOP FIVE WAYS SIONE CAN GET MORE CLOSE-UPS DURING MATCHES:

Score more tries
Let’s face it. When you score, everybody loves you. Especially the camera.

Make a dangerous tackle
Grab a winger around the head and wrestle him violently to the ground as if he were a helpless, new born baby calf. You’ll get at least three instant replays, two of them in slow-mo as the commentators cast stones at your dirty tactics.

Get yellow carded for dangerous tackle mentioned above
Not only will the camera follow you into the sin bin but, it will return often, hoping to catch you looking like a dejected goat

Fight
Hey, it always works for Tialata

Get injured
Not good for your career but a player sprawled out on the pitch in excruciating pain always warrants a tight shot

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