Please God, in the name of everything that is sacred and holy, keep these men healthy this Super 14!

Some fool on the Chiefs has already injured himself which is why newly drafted Tasesa Lavea will be starting at first-five when the Chiefs meet his old teammates - The Blues - at Eden Park.

Last season was so horrible for these guys! Players were breaking their necks off, breaking their feet off, breaking their legs and shoulders off and whatnot! Falling all out on the pitch, screaming and writhing in torturous pain as acid fire rained down from the heavens and the earth trembled and volcanoes erupted spitting molten lava and ash and...

Okay so maybe it wasn't quite that apocalyptic but as you may recall, that is if you listened to our podcasts (Which you didn't), I suspected (much to the chagrin of galaxyMafia) that the Chiefs, nay the entire city of Hamilton, had a major curse on it! Seriously, how else to explain the awesome bad luck that took hold of this team?

Let's hope all the praying and burnt offerings were heard and accepted by the gods of rugby 'cause with all the recently departed talent currently residing in Europe and all the old folks retiring, the Chiefs are gonna need all the spiritual/metaphysical help they can get! I'm not taking any chances though. I was saving this for when I moved back into my house but I think I'm gonna make myself a very special Chiefs doll formed from candle wax, spritz some holy water on it and burn sage over it just in damn case! - GD