Well, ladies, Michael Vick may be locked up for organizing dog fights on his own property* BUT, he’s still got $16.25 million available, should you be interested in getting with him. You see, his former team, the Hot-lanta Falcons sued to recover the $20 million in bonus money they promised Vick as a part of his – wait for it – $130 million dollar contract!! (You could buy a lot of corned beef and taro wif that, couldn’t ya, Tialata. Hell, you could probably buy a Hormel plant!). However, a U.S. District judge has ruled that taking the bonus money would violate the NFL collective bargaining agreement’s guaranteed money policy, which this bonus money falls under. Yeah, I know, it sounds like “cheaters never lose” but, if you don’t believe me, check it out fo’ yoself.

I’m just tryna give you ladies a heads up. When you tire of Mama Lauaki’s chop suey (cause you know Sione will have you re-heating leftovers), you might think of taking a trip over to the dark side of football where all the “brown” brothers are black, the paper stacks are fat, and the “guns”, unfortunately, are real.

A warning about Vick, though. . .when he comes over to your place, don’t let him near Rover.

*Dude, never eat where you shit, or shit where you eat. . .whatever the hell. . .

copyright 2008. . .galaxyMafia