Caught Out There With The Sushi Girls™ – Episode 3

Category: , , , , , By Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia
This has been a banner week for rugby gossip Dear Readers! So many thrills, spills and chills I thought I might slip and break my hip if I didn’t keep my wits about me! In fact, it got so crazy I had to take to my bed! Okay so I was having a back spasm and was filled to the brim with ibuprofen and muscle relaxers but I really was shocked by some of the things I heard! So let’s start where we left off last week and tie up a few loose ends before we get to the super juicy parts. Shall we?

We know…you guess

Blind Item One

Have you ever seen a dude who's stupid and rude
Whenever he's around he dogs your mood
I know a guy like that, girl
He thinks he's god's gift to the world

Tramp – Salt N Pepa

So you’ll remember last week, in Blind Item Three, I told you about that poor, poor rugby beauty who is so badly used and abused by his hangers on? [Just smell the sarcasm people!] Well looks like he’s even more of an ass then previously thought. Is that shit even possible?!? Anyway, a few weeks ago this player, who henceforth shall be referred to as “Dumb Fuck”, received an email from a young fan stating how much the boy idolized him. Well the young pup waited for Dumb Fuck after one of his games and let’s just say Mean Joe Greene (See the famous commercial here) would not be happy with the outcome!

The little one’s papa was so incensed that he sent the email and a detailed breakdown of the diss to NZ’s national rugby program who in turn read it LIVE over the air. They then proceeded to apologize for Dumb Fuck’s bad behavior by saying he didn’t have time to talk to the lad because he had an interview to get to rapidement. Right. And I’m a very tall, thin, white woman with long, blond hair. So what became of all the kerfuffle? The little boy got a signed jersey from Dumb Fuck and Dumb Fuck was made to look like a saint in the media for a while. Yes that’s it Dear Readers. No fines. No forced community service. Not even a stern talking too! Just the same old shit on a different day. I swear if he weren’t so pretty I’d bust him in his eye! Seriously, just smack the dimples clean off his face! Sigh…

Blind Item Two

Now take a look at me
You see I’m feeling ire
You see I found my soul
And pulled it off the shelf
And I’m not going back
And bet that’s a fact
I’m going straight ahead
And I’m livin’ ‘til I’m dead
[Free Yourself] Yes you can now
[Free Yourself] Like I did
[Free Yourself] Be a man boy
Free Yourself

Free Yourself – The Untouchables

When I heard this next piece of tittle-tattle I was shocked but not in the way you might think. You see I love a good sex scandal but I love a good GAY sex scandal even more! And when it involves big, strapping, hot rugby players then well, I’m just fucking ecstatic! Come on! How often does this happen? Like, never right? But unfortunately this tidbit is missing the “hot” part. Oh he’s big and strapping Dear Readers just not what you’d call cute. Well, certainly not what I’d call cute! Bleeeeech! Anyway, sources say this embattled player is as well known for his frequent forays into Bisexuality – not that there’s anything wrong with that – as he is for taking frequent and plentiful “nips of courage”.

Now Ms. GD isn’t judging because as you know, I like girls just as much as he apparently likes boys (and booze) but the difference is that I’m not a closeted rugby player! No your girl came crashing out of the closet years ago and continues to resist all efforts to be shoved back in. But I understand that the world of sport, and indeed the world, is not as understanding as I am so, Player X if you’re reading this baby, I support you in all that you do and in all that you are! One day soon being bisexual and a rugby player won’t seem so oxymoronic and hopefully we’ll both still be alive to experience that day. Now if we can just keep you off the damn sauce…

Blind Item Three

Moonlight Lovin'
The stars will never tell
Of the rendezvous of me and you and you
Moonlight Lovin'
Is not a wishing well
But all of your fantasies come true
Ménage À Trois
Ménage À Trois
Ménage À Trois
It’s time to discover love’s generosity
Uninhibited lovers
Like one, two, three

Moonlight Lovin' (Ménage À Trois) – Isaac Hayes

You’ll remember in Episode 1 I told you about the mystery All Black who had compromising pictures of himself taken by a woman who joined him…and another women…in Christchurch for an evening of wild sex? Well that player is no longer a mystery and Rose, it ain’t who you thought it was. In fact it’s someone even better! Someone so much better that it makes that crazy 4 out of 10 rating that trainee extortionist gave him all the more unbelievable. And even more unbelievable is the fact that this guy would even have to advertise for women to have a threesome with in the first damn place! As I remarked to my source, there are women who would fight gladiator style in the Thunder Dome just for the chance to see his pee pee!

As galaxyMafia and I have screamed time and time again, he better be glad he doesn’t live in the United States because there would be a sex tape, photographs and affidavits from his last fifty sex partners as well as the whole world critiquing his performance and not just some small time hustler wannabe! How he dodged that bullet I’ll never know. Maybe he prayed that Francis Xavier would intercede on his behalf? I say he should have prayed to Mary of Edessa and his right hand before getting involved in all these sexual shenanigans in the first place! Or maybe his black jersey is made of a special Teflon/polyester blend? I think he should call the Archbishop of Wellington and get a re-up on his rosary just in case…

Bloody amateurs!

Until next time Dear Readers...

Glamour Diva

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