Ya'll know I must be MAD, CRAZY bored to be writing about Daniel "The Robot" Caaaaataaaaah but, as the old folks say, "It be's that way some time"! Apparently our old buddy Harold [It's a podcast joke, if you listened you would know] wasn't on his game...again...and accidentally plugged DC directly into the wall instead of the factory recommended surge protector. Of course management says he "strained a muscle" but we all know that's a damn lie as robots are not animals and therefore DO NOT have muscles! Now maybe he has a lot of extra stretchy wires and shit attached to his adamantium skeleton but that's a horse of a different color, so to speak.

No I think our sweet little hunk o'junk is currently spread out on an exam table somewhere deep in the recesses of the All Black's super secret and totally hush-hush underground laboratory [Begin eerie music] in Tasmania getting the full robot spa treatment! Ya know, checking his fluids, replacing the chips that got scrambled from the power surge, upgrading his operating system to Linux [That crappy ass Vista is what got them in trouble during the World Cup!] and testing his targeting systems.

Seriously, I really love this picture; it fits the story so well! If I didn't know this photo was taken during the WC I'd swear it was taken right at the precise moment he started malfunctioning! Can't you just hear all the BOING! CRASH! WHIR! and other noises going on in the background? And don't forget the springs flying every which way and the smoke coming out of his ass! Okay, okay I'll stop! Nothin' but love for Mr. Roboto, er I mean Mr. Carter. - GD

Read the rest of this fabrication here

In this episode The Sushi Girls™ wave bye-bye as they say, “Don’t let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya”, to The Rugby World Cup! Squirm with excitement as your girls: discuss their “Best and Worst” of the RWC, share their thoughts and feelings about the tournament and it’s outcome, ponder the future of South African rugby in its current post-Apartheid form, consider more life lessons from Michael Strahan, delight in galaxyMafia’s final match report – celebrity voices included, tackle the upsurge in gossip and what it takes to keep a gossip source satisfied and secure, play “Wife, Mistress or Baby Mama”, weep for the very last “Sione Time” (and the last time Glamour Diva get’s to sing the theme song) and much, much more!

Podcast Further Information

Hedonism Resorts

Inside the Helmet: Life as a Sunday Afternoon Warrior – Michael Strahan

Articles mentioned in the podcast can he found here.

Shania Twain – You're Still The One


Nina Simone – My Baby Just Cares For Me


Now without further ado, this week's podcast…

Warning: this podcast is definitely NOT SAFE FOR WORK so download our foolishness at your peril…

RWC Wrap Up Show – Commentary recorded October 29, 2007

Hate it or love it we want to hear from YOU! Send all your complements, questions, suggestions, and complaints to Ms. GD and GM at the_sushi_diaries@yahoo.com. If we really dig your comments we’ll give you a shout out during the next podcast!

Smooches,
Glamour Diva and galaxyMafia

Yes we are foolishly trying this interactive crap AGAIN so you can bloody well be part of the damn podcast!  This is our last show until Super 14 rears it's perfectly coiffed head  in February 2008 so don't be lame Dear Ones and give us some electronic support! This Monday (October 29) at 7:05 pm Central Standard Time we will open up the chat lines...again, the email lines...again, and the Skype lines...again...to anyone who gives a damn! Woo-freakin-hoo...again. So if you aren't too busy with your fabulous lives please do join us won't you?

Email: the_sushi_diaries@yahoo.com
Yahoo! ID: the_sushi_diaries
Skype (Internet call or chat): misssakamoto

Time Conversions
7:05pm CST=
12:05:00 a.m. Tuesday October 30 in Greenwich Mean Time (GMT)
02:05:00 a.m. Tuesday October 30 in Johannesburg
08:05:00 a.m. Tuesday October 30 in Hong Kong
11:05:00 a.m. Tuesday October 30 in Sydney
01:05:00 p.m. Monday October 29 in Samoa

Smooches,
Glamour Diva and galaxyMafia

…But they are sure as hell acting like it with all the bitching, whining, blame placing and acting out!

In this episode The Sushi Girls™ manage to not fall to pieces while watching the All Black’s early departure from the Rugby World Cup! Squeal as your girls cogitate the reasons why the country of New Zealand has failed to make more of an impression on the American public, discuss life lessons gleaned from NFL player Michael Strahan’s new book and how said lessons may be applied to rugby, play Deal or No Deal: Rugby Edition, delight in galaxyMafia’s theory on why Neemia Tialata refers to himself as “Batman”, introduce their new famous Bebo contact – Flo from Down Low with Flo, chortle as your girls consider “Death By Lauaki”, debate the appropriateness of comparing the tragedy of 9/11 to losing a rugby match, investigate Glamour Diva’s dissatisfaction with podcasting in a vacuum, explore the homoerotism of the scrum and the dirty little things that go on inside it, a new musical Sione Time and much, much more!

Podcast Further Information

Inside the Helmet: Life as a Sunday Afternoon Warrior – Michael Strahan

Wit

The Other Umaga and The Other Nonu

Down Low with Flo

S.O.S. Band – Take Your Time


Kevin Michael – Vicki Secrets


Now without further ado, this week's podcast…

Warning: this podcast is definitely NOT SAFE FOR WORK so download our foolishness at your peril…


New Zealand Vs. France – Commentary recorded Friday, October 12

If you'd like to watch this game while listening to our commentary you may download it at Media Zone . Click on The Rugby Channel then choose the appropriate game.

Hate it or love it we want to hear from YOU! Send all your complements, questions, suggestions, and complaints to Ms. GD and gM at the_sushi_diaries@yahoo.com. If we really dig your comments we’ll give you a shout out during the next podcast!

Smooches,
Glamour Diva and galaxyMafia

You keep tellin’ me lies
But to your surprise
Look, I've got somethin' for y'all
Since you're
Caught out there
Kelis - Caught Out There

Two Girls, an All Black and a Camera Phone

An unidentified woman advertises on an Internet dating site asking for other women to join her and an All Black in a threesome. A local, unidentified Christchurch woman answers the advert and meets up with the two freaks, er…I mean “consenting adults” at a local hotel after one of the “prominent player’s” test matches earlier this year. Mating ensues, no doubt of the most debauched variety, until all are spent and completely satisfied.

Or were they?

The once shy and blushing flower from the CHCH gives the mystery AB a shocking 4 out of 10 for ability. Ouch! But not to worry, she still has those lovely pics of her and the naked AB to keep her warm at night. Too bad a local NZ newspaper was too cheap and cowardly, er…I mean honorable, to pony up the $10,000 ($7,752.84 US) she asked for or she could have bought herself a mink covered electric blanket…and notoriety to last at least 30 minutes!

Amateurs!

[Thanks for the heads up Kristin! We love you girl!]

Now It All Makes Sense!

Gentlemen of the world, get thee to New Zealand for all the nookie you can stand! It seems the Kiwi ladies have quite the reputation. A condom company – natch – did a survey that found NZ women are the most promiscuous women in the world! THE…WORLD! The funny thing is they tend to have more sex partners then their male counterparts. Odd. So if they aren’t fucking Kiwi dudes then who the hell are they fucking?

Backpackers and tree huggers!

Now we know why all those foreign, crunchy granola types are always heading down south. They’re looking for natural wonders but it ain’t the flora and fauna of the land Dear Readers. Apparently it’s the ease with which the women gap their legs! But on a sad note, it seems that with their sexual freedom there is also more than a bit of dissatisfaction with the sex itself. The only country reporting more sexual dissatisfaction was Japan. Looks like the Kiwi Lasses have a bit of a self-esteem problem as well. I suggest they try fucking more All Blacks and trying to sell the stories and pictures…or maybe a sex tape? Don’t scoff, it worked for Paris Hilton!

And In Other Sad New Zealander News…

The NZers are still blaming the ref for their RWC loss but this time they’re SERIOUS! E Gads people! Grow the hell up and move the fuck on!

Until next time Dear Readers...

WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH THESE NZ PLAYERS?!?!?

Doug Howlett gets arrested for jumping on a couple of parked cars outside a London hotel. He was allegedly drunk at the time. So does this mean that because he's half Tongan he can only hold half the usual amount of grog? Or maybe this means he can hold even less grog than the normal, full blooded 'Nesian? Who the hell knows! Anyway, Mr. Howlett has already offered up his mea culpa for the incident (see video below) so I guess everything is back to normal. Right. The NZRU better get these guys some help before someone gets hurt. Seriously People!



Full story here, here and here.

I can't take all this angst and pathos! It's just a damn game people...SNAP OUT OF IT! – GD

Glamour Diva and galaxyMafia had the bright idea that it might be cool to chat with our Dear Listeners while we record our next podcast - New Zealand vs. France. So this Friday (October 12) at 7:35 pm Central Standard Time we will open up the chat lines, the email lines, the phone lines (OK maybe not the phone lines) and the Skype lines to anyone who gives a damn! That’s right, The Sushi Girls™ are going interactive! Woohoo!  This is your chance to become a part of our foolishness in ways you’ve never imagined. Or maybe you have imagined it? Look, just give us a buzz and we’ll go from there okay?  Solid!

Email: the_sushi_diaries@yahoo.com
Yahoo! ID: the_sushi_diaries
Skype (Internet call or chat): misssakamoto

Time Conversions
7:35pm CST=
12:35:00 a.m. Saturday October 13 in Greenwich Mean Time (GMT)
02:35:00 a.m. Saturday October 13 in Johannesburg
08:35:00 a.m. Saturday October 13 in Hong Kong
10:35:00 a.m. Saturday October 13 in Sydney
01:35:00 p.m. Friday October 12  in Samoa

Smooches,
Glamour Diva and galaxyMafia

Those (seemingly) invincible gods of rugby (the ALL BLACKS) may have been knocked off their (lopsided) pedestal by a plague of frogs but the boyz of the Air New Zealand Cup (ANZC) are puttin’ it down, and getting’ it done. . .

. . .without JC, Masoe or Neemia Tialata
. . .without the robot Dan Carter, or the over-rated “el capitan” Richie McCaw
. . .without da big Tongan, or the flyin’ Fijians
. . .without the ragin’ alcoholic Ali Williams, the holier-than-thou Mealamu or Lukey “thunder thighs” McAlister
. . .without Woodcock, Carl “da Maori” Hayman or Greg “I-never-should-have-been-here-in-the-first-place” Somerville

Ma’a, Piri, John Afoa, Anesi, Jimmy Goperth, Troy Flavell, Mose Tuiali’i, et al are blowin’ up da spot. . .AND. . .they’re doing it WITHOUT “da black jersey”. . .

So, in the spirit of Mike Jones, the AB rejects can proudly say. . .

“Graham Henry didn’t want me
I’m playin’ good
He shouldna scorned me”












copyright 2007. . .galaxyMafia

And somewhere, deep in an undisclosed, heavily wooded area of Wellington, Piri Weepu, Ma’a Nonu and Jimmy Gopperth dance naked around a boiling cauldron under a bright full moon as they giggle with glee at the success of their diabolical handiwork… 

Okay so it's not really a secret because I've voiced my feelings about this Hot Like Fire Knife All Black before but maybe...just maybe...if I keep thinking it and writing about it he will eventually come to his senses and LEAVE THAT DAMN WOMAN FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL! (Heave...Pant...Heave...Wheeze) It's okay, really...I'll be alright. Just solve the damn puzzle while I try to compose myself!




Good luck Dear Readers! I can’t wait to see your answer in my email! – GD

Besides, if we hadn’t taken the low road we never would have seen this!

In this episode The Sushi Girls™ grab their bagpipes and head out to the heather covered land of kilts, haggis, and William Wallace, otherwise known as Scotland! Take note as your girls discuss Doug Howlett’s ancestry and how it prevents him for putting foot to ass more often, Glamour Diva’s love of a good Scottish burr and the men who own them, the return of the robot – Dan Carter – and his special sound effect, galaxyMafia’s disturbingly thorough match report and game analysis, the lackluster performance of all the teams during the current RWC, the last known footage of Sione Lauaki without WTF? hair, Graham Henry’s naughty disciplinary methods, the triumphant return of Sione Time and much, much more!

Podcast Further Information

Roots

Children of Men

Rod Serling

Franz Ferdinand – Take Me Out


Merrie Melodies – My Bunny Lies Over The Sea


Average White Band – Pick Up The Pieces


Now without further ado, this week's podcast…

Warning: this podcast is definitely NOT SAFE FOR WORK so download our foolishness at your peril…

The hair follicles of Sione T. Lauaki are nervous.

Upon learning that the big Tongan had been banned for two weeks after being citing by RWC judges for an alleged “dangerous tackle” during the All Blacks vs Romania game, the follicles, which recently have had to suffer the abuse and shame of harsh chemical dyes which have dulled their sheen and stripped their texture of its usual silkiness, could be hear screaming in protest:

“Please don’t ban him! For the love of all that is sacred, holy and 100% Tongan, please!”

An older strand of hair toward the back of Lauaki’s head, which has endured cornrow braids and dredlocks, and who spoke on condition of anonymity, said, “The ban will devastate him. His self esteem is already in the toilet. He can barely read, or subtract. All of us strands and curls of hair will bear this tortuous burden!”

The older strand’s sister, who was recently dyed ginger, said, “I had just been able to make peace with being this color! And now this awful news! There is no telling what he’ll do to us. . .I won’t survive this!”

Many of the hair follicles had to be constrained and sedated with hair gel upon learning of the decision to ban Lauaki for two weeks.

Some of the younger follicles (now blonde), towards the front of Lauaki’s head, have vowed to stop Lauaki from doing something disastrous to his hair by any means necessary.

Many have spoke about forming a grassroots coalition to persuade Lauaki to turn to strong drink instead of his local hairdresser.

But the mouth, throat, stomach and liver of Lauaki have banned together to block the hair follicles’ plan, which they view as “selfish” and a “slap in Lauaki’s face”.

“They know he can’t hold his grog,” said the stomach, who promises to force Lauaki to vomit any 80-proof beverage he swallows. “To make him start drinking again is so bleedin’ wrong!”

In addition, the mouth pointed out that making Lauaki drink would affect the hands, which might feel compelled to “hit somebody for no damn good reason” if alcohol were re-introduced into his system.

Sione T. Lauaki’s hands, which once were used to pummel an unsuspected victim into a near-comatose state outside a pub in Hamilton, have vowed not be used for violence again.
“We have learned to control ourselves,” the left hand said, solemnly. “We shall not backslide into patterns of destructive iniquity again.”

Still, the hair follicles say they have it the worse.

“Whenever something bad happens to him, we get it, hard and rough, with no Vaseline,” says a dark brown fat curl that managed to escape being dyed. “It’s gonna be bad if he misses the rest of the World Cup. He may cut us down really low. . .or go bald, get rid of all of us. . .”

copyright 2007. . .galaxyMafia will talk more about this on the next WORLD CUP PODCAST but if you want to read the article yourself, be her guest. . .
http://nz.sports.yahoo.com/071001/10/1vxb.html or http://www.allblacks.com/index.cfm?layout=displayNews&newsArticle=7043

…Right after screaming his head off in complete disgust at the state of Frédéric Michalak’s hair!


In this episode The Sushi Girls™ skip hand in hand down the banks of the river Seine, shrugging and eating baguettes as they continue their coverage of The Rugby World Cup! Hearken as your girls debate the white…almost translucent…pallor of the Ireland team, the duckiness of Michalak’s lips, galaxyMafia’s distaste of a certain article about RWC hotness and the lack of ‘Nesians mentioned in said article, the lack of comments…anonymous or otherwise…on the blog, Glamour Diva’s love of a certain Irish surname, the top five things you can do in France but never in Houston, Texas and say goodbye to the short lived series “Sione Time” and much, much more!

Podcast Further Information

The Ocean of Soul

Donncha O'Callaghan without shorts

Michalak’s Hamburger Commercial


Talib Kweli – Hot Thing


Michalak’s Shoe


Now without further ado, this week's podcast…

Warning: this podcast is definitely NOT SAFE FOR WORK so download our foolishness at your peril…



France Vs. Ireland – Commentary recorded Wednesday, September 26, 2007

If you'd like to watch this game while listening to our commentary you may download it at Media Zone . Click on the link then choose the appropriate game.

Hate it or love it we want to hear from YOU! Send all your complements, questions, suggestions, and complaints to Ms. GD and GM at the_sushi_diaries@yahoo.com. If we really dig your comments we’ll give you a shout out during the next podcast!

Smooches,
Glamour Diva and galaxyMafia

LAWD! (as Ms. GD would exclaim), it gets worse!!!

Maybe Ms. Turner has plans to play his mother in the unauthorized spoof of his life and times as a rugger trapped in the fetal position, eh?

Not only is the hair the same BUT, they are the exact same caramel/cafe au lait/venti frappe non-whip color, too!!!

copyright 2007. . .galaxyMafia *sigh* finds she is not as upset as she should be. To wit, she figured the big Tongan would get all depressed about something and take it out on his hair. . .

Thanks to Debalina for breaking this sad, ridiculous news. . .

Once again, Sione has jacked his hair up.

galaxyMafia admits, she was a bit nervous to check out the pix but, once she saw them, she wasn't too upset. . .she was worried he might have braided it, or dreded it, or put a relaxer on it but, basically, it's a fcuked up dye job. . .





copyright 2007. . .galaxyMafia is soooooooooooooooooooooo disappointed in you Wax!!!!

…the world was suddenly and deliberately attacked by The Sushi Girl’s™ Sex and the Sushi Do The Rugby World Cup Podcast!

In this episode The Sushi Girls™ tackle the Rugby World Cup (For the very first time), hogtie it, brand it then send it on it’s merry little way! Gasp as your girls give thanks for all things rugby and ‘Nesian during Gospel Rugby Sunday, consider the extraordinary weight gain of one Sione Lauaki, ponder the question of who has the smallest/largest penis on the current All Blacks squad, chuckle as galaxyMafia calls out all her haters on YouTube, play “Who is smarter than Sione”, deliberate the uneven team matchups and how the International Rugby Board should fix it, chew over Glamour Diva’s dislike of Aaron Mauger and his “‘Nesian Soapbox”, introduce their new segment “Sione Time”, call out all the Anonymous posters on their blog who refuse to follow the rules for Caught Out There with The Sushi Girls, and much, much more!

Podcast Further Information

Guantanamera (One ton ah ‘Nesian)

Cumberland Gap

Mary Mary – Shackles


Yolanda Adams – Victory


Now without further ado, this week's podcast…

Warning: this podcast is definitely NOT SAFE FOR WORK so download our foolishness at your peril…

New Zealand Vs. Portugal – Commentary recorded Sunday, September 16, 2007

If you'd like to watch this game while listening to our commentary you may download it at Media Zone . Click on the link then choose the appropriate game.

Hate it or love it we want to hear from YOU! Send all your complements, questions, suggestions, and complaints to Ms. GD and GM at the_sushi_diaries@yahoo.com. If we really dig your comments we’ll give you a shout out during the next podcast!

Smooches,
Glamour Diva and galaxyMafia