While looking for fodder for the blog, since she and Glamour Diva have decided to tone down all the rugby posts, galaxyMafia came across this gem from her electronic diary. Back in March of 2004, she was quasi-dating a Finnish dude with an ex-fishwish and two uppity Mexican daughters. Said Finnish man was an architect, and one weekend, he got a wild hair and wanted to go visit some building in Dallas which was designed by some famous architect whose name she forgets (actually, she probably never knew it to begin with). So, they set off on I-45 heading north, and ended up in Big D, where they checked into a room at the famed Adolphus hotel, which was founded by the Busch family, as in the people who make that cheap, lame ass Budweiser dumb frat boys chug during Happy Hour. Anyhoo. . .here’s a snippet of the trip.




3-6-04
This hotel does not exactly suck. I can’t be that harsh. But it lies. I was promised an ottoman. I was looking forward to the ottoman – alas, no ottoman. This why I do not travel to Dallas. No Yellow pages either. “What kind of hotel are they running here?” Tapio wonders. A hotel that promises ottomans but does not deliver them. Obviously.

3-7-04
God. This is how I know He loves me. I have learned a lesson. Don’t lie about saying you will have your own room when you know you won’t. Spent last night in the lion’s den. Said lion being one Hannu Tapio Pilaskari (or however the fudge you spell it). Lion roared all night. Used to think the expression “sawing logs” to describe snoring was just some writer’s attempt to be clever. Now know that I was wrong. The man sawed some logs last night. Sawed a forest. Somewhere in the Yellowstone National Park, trees are strewn about the ground as far as the eye can see, viciously cut down in their prime! I tried to sleep by the door. Did not work. The cacophonous snoring permeated every stinking square inch of the hotel. And that is a lot of unrestrained permeation when the room ain’t really 550 sq.ft. like the damn internet ad promised. Anyhoo, I think I got maybe three hours of sleep. Or maybe I only wished I had. Maybe I was dreaming. I got up and got a 7-Up from the bar. Drank it and burped. Seemed fitting at the time. Tried to sleep again. Somewhere, sometime in the ether of the night, the lion arose from his slumber to ask me why I had been up all night. Was lion serious? Lion then tried to gather me in his arms. Soon, he was promptly snoring in my ears. I managed to get away. Went to sleep by the door this time and was somewhat more successful this time. Until sounds of the guy in the next room hacking woke me up. Got up and used the bathroom. Washed up and brushed teeth. Considered leave a mountainous load of shit in the toilet for lion as a good morning surprise. But, that is unladylike. And I didn’t have to shit. Oh yeah, bathroom has a scale. Got on it and it said like 138. I have lost weight. Even after all the junk food I have been eating. Even after eating a bunch of bread, spinach and artichoke dip and steak at Texas Land and Cattle. Where, by the way, the little Asian-bitch hostess (sorry) put us in the very back of the restaurant where we were pretty much isolated from the other patrons. I have a theory. We are a zebra couple and Dallas does not quite cotton to zebra couples even as they are aware of them. So, we were placed in Siberia so as not to offend the other customers. Man. That’s another reason I don’t come to Dallas. Other than the fact that Dallas is Dallas, which should be reason enough on its own.

Copyright 2007. . .galaxyMafia. . .did NOT have sex in the hotel room with the Finnish dude, just in case you were wondering. . .which, probably you weren’t

Hi-de-hi Dear Readers! It certainly has been a long time since I’ve written like this. I’ve been so severely lazy and aimless for the last few months that I just haven’t had the strength to write about the many and varied things swirling around in my mind. Okay so maybe the biggest thing swirling around in my mind has been the hotness of several Polynesian rugby players but really now Ms. GD has other thoughts too! I care about the world in general! No really I do!

Mantra For A New Beginning

Om Vinayakaya Namaha
Om Vee-nah-yah Kah-yah Nah-mah-hah

Vinayaka, the reincarnated energy of Ganesha (Hindu God of intellect and wisdom) is often called upon when a worshiper is starting a new endeavor. Be it the start of a new school semester, a new relationship or even a new year, Ganesha mantras are excellent for opening up the heart and mind to new possibilities thus in turn helping us find the courage and strength we need to be successful.

Mantra from Yoga Journal Magazine - February 2007, page 20.

Ms. GD’s Best Kept Secrets Revealed!

I have a secret, a great, big beautiful secret! In the grand scheme of things this secret might seem rather trivial and I might seem very immature for holding on to it so dearly but to me it’s one of the most awesomeist things to happen to me in my short, uneventful life!

Unfortunately I can’t tell you a damn thing about it. I know, I know! You’re screaming at your computer screen and flipping me the bird right now. How dare you, you fume, set us up like that? Well I would love to tell you, my Beloved Readers, but if I do I’ll totally blow my cover! You see, there is a chance that the um – person – involved in my secret reads this blog and if said “person” does then this person will know that I am me which will completely shatter the carefully constructed alter ego I’ve spent the last two years cultivating! I mean, the whole point of an alter ego is so I can, as Daddy Diva used to say, act a plume seed fart ass, without fear of retribution!

So because I have this incredible secret that I can’t share with you I’ve decided to divulge another juicy and equally embarrassing secret I’ve been hiding for the past several months. Once upon a time, when I’d completely lost my mind over Wentworth Miller (AKA The Pretty) I let galaxyMafia convince me that it would be a good idea to write him a letter. It took me a long while to come around to the idea, after all, fan mail is for pathetic losers and I’m really cool! No seriously! I AM!

So I wrote the stupid letter and here it is in its entirety:

February 4, 2006

Dear Mr. Miller,

I know it’s cliché to begin a letter with “I’ve never done this before…” but in this case it’s true. I’ve never written a celebrity and I feel straight ig’nant doing so. I even contemplated using an assumed name but then I thought that was just plain silly. If I’m going to intentionally embarrass myself by turning into the most dreaded of all creatures – Squealing Fan Girl – then I should at least have the courage of my convictions and use my real name. Right?

I’m writing to you because I am in desperate need of information – about you! Everyone who has had the pleasure of speaking with you always mentions how intelligent and thoughtful you are but somehow they never seem to ask you many intelligent or thoughtful questions.

I’ve noticed a pattern that goes something like this: The interviewer fawns a little and asks you about your current project. The interviewer fawns a little more, asks a few impertinent questions (Like how does it feel to be so gosh darned handsome and are you single…ugh!), and then fawns even more until you look embarrassed or bored. I’ve yet to discern which look is which but I must admit you have the best poker face ever!
So with your indulgence, this simple, unassuming, ingenuous Texas girl who has almost no journalistic credentials would like to ask you a few questions:

Music is very important in my life so for me, finding out what sort of music someone likes is one of the first steps in getting to know them (I’ve enclosed two discs of my favorites). What genres do you love and why? If you had to make a soundtrack for your life thus far what songs would be featured on it and why?

Much has been made of you studying English at university then pursuing acting. On the surface there might seem to be no correlation between acquiring an English degree then flipping that into an acting career but I disagree. To grow as a human being one most constantly seek new challenges. Was the idea of committing yourself to something almost completely out of your original field of study part of the charm? What career would you choose if the entertainment industry was not an option and why?

I heard a clip of you singing and you have a lovely voice! Have you ever considered musical theater? What character or characters from a classic Broadway show would you like to play and why?

Many multiethnic actors have been featured on the covers of black publications (Halle Berry, Terrence Howard, and Mariah Carey to name only three) and in other black oriented media but I’ve yet to see you on the cover of Ebony or listed as one of the “Hottest Bachelors” in Essence Magazine for example. Do you feel you’re being ignored by the African American community and if so, why?

In your senior thesis you wrote about gender identity in a white male, patriarchal society. Why did you choose to explore the works cited in your thesis as opposed to say “Madame Bovary”, “The Awakening” or even “The Bluest Eye”?

Are you aware that there is an online church dedicated to the fabulousness that is you? It’s called The First Church Of Wentworth Miller (www.fcowm.com) and it is very interesting to say the least. So much lust concentrated in one place is exceptional! What do you think of this sort of unfettered devotion?

Have you considered dating Gabrielle Union? She’s single now. [Wink. Wink. Nudge. Nudge.]

And finally, one fan girl question – Is Dominic Purcell as magnificent in person as he appears to be on television! [Insert fan girl squeal here]

I understand if your schedule is too demanding to write back right away so if calling me is easier my number is 713-555-5555. Have a wonderful day and enjoy your time off!

Cordially,
Me

So did Mr. Miller reply? HELL TO THE NO! But I did receive a lovely autographed picture, which until now has been safely crumpled up in the trunk of my car under my dirty sneakers, laundry detergent and empty Diet Dr. Pepper bottles!



Don’t you want me baby? Don’t you want me…Oooooooooohhhhhh!

So last Sunday was Mama Diva’s birthday and I decided to make her a special birthday dinner. I sojourned to my local Whole Foods to pick up the ingredients and got a little more than I bargained for.

I’d done most of my shopping when I passed by the flower shop. While I was trying to decide if I’d buy Mama Diva a bouquet, the young lady behind the counter asked me if I needed some assistance. At first I said, not even looking up, that I was just looking. But then a particularly pretty bunch caught my eye and I decided to get them. When I looked up I say the prettiest young woman I’d seen in a long…LONG…time! As I recall this story I wonder if my eyes popped out of my head when I say her because, I kid you not Dear Readers, she was just that pretty! How pretty you ask? Well allowing for individual taste I’d say she was a solid 9 out of 10! She was a bit taller than me, about 5 feet, 6 inches, slim but not skinny, dark brown skin, huge brown eyes, and lots of natural hair. I can’t remember if her hair was twisted, dreaded or just curly [I couldn’t stop staring at her face!] but it was black and really strong and healthy looking and I like that! Oh and she had beautiful white teeth too!

Anyway, she asked me what flowers I wanted and I pointed to a few eclectic looking bunches, asking about the prices. She told me the prices then out of the blue said, You smell good. Is that you or your hair?. So I just smiled and said that it was probably my hair because I’d just washed it. So we’re just sort of standing there smiling at each other (I thought we looked more than a little like idiots) so I indicate that I’d made up my mind about a particular bunch. Then, and this is the kicker Dear readers, she leans in and literally sniffs me! In the most obvious way imaginable! Like we were Pumas! And then she made that “mmmmmmmm” sound and sort of narrowed her eyes a little bit! And did I mention she was leaned in close as well as standing on her toes?!?

Needless to say I was taken aback! Oh what to do, what to damn do! Well I did the only thing I could do in this situation; I ignored it. Or at least pretended to ignore it because really, how could I ignore such an obvious mating ritual? So we settled on two interesting mixes of flowers and she asked me to give her ten minutes while she put the two together. After that I walked around the store trying to comprehend what had just happened. Was she coming on to me? Was she just being friendly? Had my self-imposed relationship exile made me insane and led me to hallucinate the whole scene? And why did I have such an unwelcome, fluttery feeling in my belly?

After about five minutes I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to get home and cook and put this exciting but somewhat nightmarish incident to bed! When I got back to the flower shop she was just finishing my bouquet so I silently thanked God for that. She very sweetly informed me that she’d added four roses and I tried not to take it personally because I had, after all, told her that the flowers were for my mother and not me. While she was wrapping the bouquet I noticed her nametag. You will never guess her name so I’ll just tell you – Sunshine! Damn. She couldn’t have had a more perfect name. And as you can imagine, I thanked her kindly and ran like the freakin’ wind!

So did I totally miss the boat? Was she really even hitting on me? I can never tell when women are hitting on me. It’s so much easier with men because they drool and pant and use bad double entendres and grab you with their filthy, greasy paws! Women are much more subtle and sinister. Ah well, it’s not like I’m going to go back and see her on the pretext of buying more flowers! No Ms. GD has made a vow of no more dating – dating of any kind – and I will stand by that vow. Besides, women are crazy! If something did jump off I’d only find myself clavicle deep in Lesbian Drama and I been there, done that, bought the T-Shirt! But still I can’t help but wonder…

California Randomness On Such A Winter’s Day

Well my Christmas trip to Cali is dunzo but the magical memories live on! Families and Holidays are not two great tastes that taste great together but we continue to put them together because…we like being tortured? Actually I’m exaggerating a bit because I always enjoy myself when I visit Brother Diva and Sister-in-law Diva. But Sister-in-law Diva’s family mixed with Mama Diva is another story all together…

Over The Hills and Through the Tunnel To The City of Angels We Go

As I’ve written before my brother lives in Northern Cali and has done so almost half (if not more) of his life. Unfortunately, the rigors of work and raising a family haven’t given him much of a chance to explore Los Angeles. As luck would have it he was off from work until the first of the year so he was able to ride with me, Mama Diva and Niece and Nephew Diva, to LA for an adventure. We had originally wanted to find an activity that all of us could enjoy but the kids are teenagers so the only thing they could think to do was walk around Universal Studios. Mama Diva likes to get her party on but walking around all day ain’t gonna cut it with her arthritis so we decided to just make the drive to LA and try to decide on something when we got there.

We took the scenic route, The Pacific Coast Highway, and of course I was driving. Let me just say that I do not like driving PCH. I don’t like driving in LA period but PCH has way too many S-Curves, like one right after the other, with steep hills one right after the other and mountains looming on either side of you and Houston is as flat as a pancake and I am just not used to that shizz! But yet and still I am constantly made to drive and suffer through the craziness that is the Cali driver! It must be the year-round warm weather because it is constantly vehicle mating season in that town! All the tailgating always astounds me! And if you want to get over you have to barge in, thus completely stopping traffic, to signal to the driver in the next lane that you intend to get over! I could go on and on Dear Readers but I think you get the picture. Anyway, we decided to go to Bergamot Station but we got lost because I wasn’t familiar with the way we drove in (I usually take the 101) but we eventually found it and we walked around there a bit. The kids were bored out of their minds, especially Niece Diva. I swear the look on her face was pure Abu Ghraib!

We wanted to go to one of our favorite restaurants, Campanile , but we weren’t dressed appropriately so we decided on Pink’s because it was a place neither of us had ever been. If you’re ever in LA you must stop at Pink’s because it is truly fabulous! Sure you’ll gain 10 pounds by just being in the place but it will be the best 10 pounds you ever gained! And when you’re having that heart attack because of your clogged arteries you’ll lovingly lick the chili from your lips as you slip peacefully into the great beyond with the taste of that chili cheese dog still lingering on your tongue! While driving there I noticed the LA County Museum was having a René Magritte exhibit. Oh happy day! Magritte is one of my favorite surrealist painters and I made a mental note to head back to the LACMA (Brother Diva in tow) to see the exhibit. After stuffing our faces we headed back home, overfed and happy…well at least the adults were happy. The youngins were just so happy to be liberated from Bergen-Belsen that they fairly leapt from the car when I pulled into the driveway!

The next day it was decided that Mama Diva would spend the day with Sister-in-law Diva, which would give Bro and I some time to bond. The plan was to head back to LA, check out the LACMA and make it to Campanile for dinner. I was really excited about this because he’d never been to the LACMA and he’d never seen a Magritte up close. It was such a treat to see this museum, which I’d been to many times before, through his eyes! He got to be very adult and talk about art and how that art made him feel. And he’d never seen a Picasso in person so I was there to share that experience with him too, which made me very happy! At dinner it was more of the same, talking about wines and cheeses and all that fancy shmancy shizz long married people with kids rarely get a chance to do. I got to hear all about his job, family and his opinions on life in general; the good and the bad, and he got a chance to vent. Fun times ya’ll!

The Children’s Christmas Program of Doom, The Cake That Would Not Be Baked and Other Tales Of Horror

Our objective was to bake one German Chocolate cake (Bro’s favorite, from scratch) for Brother Diva’s birthday. We thought we had it all figured out but we were far too smug in our cake baking abilities. Also, we underestimated the power of Sister-in-law Diva’s mother. The diabolical one who shall henceforth be called Madame X!

The plan was this: Wake up Sunday morning and leave the house by 8:30am so as to make it to the children’s Christmas program by 9am. Mama Diva would stay for the rest of the church service while I left to start baking. By the time she got back the cake would be cooled so she could make the coconut and pecan icing, ice the cake, and serve it to my brother and the rest of the family while we sang happy birthday. Sounds simple right? Well this is what actually happened:

Mama Diva and I offered to take Madame X to church Sunday morning (She’s elderly and doesn’t drive) so Sister-in-law Diva could concentrate on getting the kids and herself to church as the kids were “on program” as the old folks say. At 8:30am Mama Diva and I were ready but Madame X was still in her housecoat, cooking dinner! At about 8:45am she informed us that she wasn’t going to the Christmas program…at 8:45am! Now the church isn’t very far away but we don’t like rushing so we were understandably pissed! Mama Diva was REALLY pissed ‘cause that’s just how she is but she kept yappin’ about it all the way to church, which didn’t help matters!

As usual, all the children did an excellent job. Especially the little ones with their Christmas speeches – it was cuteness wrapped in sweetness nestled inside adorable ya’ll! So at 10am I hightailed it out of there and headed back to Madame X’s house. What should I find when I opened the door? Madame X’s other daughter baking up a storm and using the ingredients I’d sat out! Now it was my turn to be REALLY pissed! You see, we’d told Madame X that we’d planned to bake the cake and that I was coming home after the 9am service to do the baking. At no time did she mention her daughter would be starting her own bakery from her mother’s kitchen! After some deep breaths and a few bars of Om Shanti Shanti, I called Brother Diva, waking from a deep sleep of course, and asked him if I could come over to his house, changed my clothes, took what was left of my ingredients and made like the proverbial banana and split!

As you can imagine, I was spewing volcanic ash when I got to my brother’s house. I told him all about the last minute change in church plans and the miscommunication with Madame X and his sister-in-law. The conversation was as follows:

Him: So did you cuss her (his sister-in-law) out? [Grinning like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth]
Me: What? No! But I wanted too! I just figured she isn’t a blood relation so she’d have less incentive to keep talking to me if I pissed her off…
Him: [laughs]
Me: Seriously, I don’t understand these people sometimes! I told Madame X I’d be baking you a damn birthday cake! Why didn’t she tell me what was going on?
Him: Now you understand what I’ve been going through for the last 18 years…

Once I’d settled down, borrowed spare ingredients from Brother Diva and set everything up, I noticed I’d forgotten one ingredient so I had to go back to the House of Bakery Horror and get it. After I got back I discovered that Mama Diva, in her infinite wisdom, had placed the recipe in her purse! Not to worry, your intrepid baker went online and retrieved it. But wait! Brother Diva’s hand mixer is busted (Natch) so off he goes to buy another one! While he’s gone I make myself busy with egg separating, pecan pulverizing and playing with my brother’s beautiful doggie Naima the Basenji .

Now remember, I’d left Madame X’s house about 10:30am. It was after 1pm and I hadn’t even started that damn cake! By then Mama Diva had finally made it back from church – Yes that’s right, she’d been sitting in church for almost FOUR freakin’ hours – and she was not pleased to say the least! A typical church service for us lasts 1 hour, 2 hours tops for Christmas and Easter services! So I went back to Satan’s Sweet Shoppe and picked her and the cake recipe up and drove back to my brother’s house to start the cake. The two of us baked the hell out of that cake and it was fun watching my brother turn into a little boy, licking the beaters and the bowl! We even sang happy birthday to him as he blew out his candle. And that candle! My mother found an “Over the Hill” candle shaped like a tombstone that played the Death March. A barrel of laughs is my sweet mother!

After the mini-celebration we headed back to Madame X’s Torte Torture Chamber for we had been summoned, under penalty of extreme annoyance, to come and partake of the meal she had so fiendishly prepared! The night passed peacefully enough but Christmas morning brought with it fresh horror! [Insert evil laugh]

So it’s Christmas morning and we’re all chillin’. Madame X is banging around in the kitchen and Mama Diva and me are doing our own thing. The phone rings and it’s Sister-in-law Diva, she wants me and the mother to come over for dinner. We both think this a little odd because that would mean we’d have two Christmas dinners but we didn’t complain. We just packed up the pressies and headed out to the brother’s house. Dinner was really nice and the five of us (the Niece was getting her hair did at Madame X’s house. Don’t ask!) had a grand old time. I even took Naima out for a walk around the neighborhood. We met one of the neighbors; the conversation was as follows:

Me:[to Naima] Say hello!
Neighbor: Hello!
Me:Wow! I was talking to the dog but you are very obedient!

So after the walk we all headed back to Madame X’s house (except for Little Miss Naima) for Christmas Part 2. Me and the mother headed to our rooms to pack and get ready for bed because we had an extra early flight the next morning. While I was chatting to galaxyMafia on the phone my brother walked in and informed me that I needed to move my belongings to my mother’s room. I said ok and continued to gab. About two minutes later Mama Diva flung open the door and told me to move my ass so I hung up the phone and got to steppin’! Apparently Madame X had invited a relative to stay the night and my mother thought it was silly to have two old ladies sleep in the same bed when the two us were leaving so early in the morning. Well Madame X didn’t want me to move but Mama Diva insisted so we changed the sheets and I moved all my shizz into the spare room.

After all the un-Christmas like exertion I really was exhausted and decided to turn in. While I was dozing off I heard Mama Diva yelling and soon after she came busting into the room we now shared. As you can imagine I was concerned so I asked her what all the hollin’ was all about. She said she’d tried to explain to Madame X that is made no sense to have two people in a bed when we were leaving in the morning but Madame X wouldn’t listen and blah…blah…blobity BLAH! I tried to calm her down by explaining that Madame X never listens to anyone, even her own children, but Mama Diva wasn’t hearing it! So then I tried to explain that yelling at your son’s mother-in-law in front of the in-laws and the grandchildren, probably wasn’t the best way to foster goodwill between the families. Besides, we were heading home and Brother Diva had to stay there and live with the repercussions of that shizz!

Logic and reason prevailed (but just barely) and Mama Diva apologized to the in-laws, the grandchildren and her son. And I was finally able to get the hell to sleep seeing as how I was going to have to drive our asses to LAX in the morning! The flight back was packed and there were the usual annoyances like crying babies, inconsiderate passengers and tight seating but we made it back in one piece. THE END…Or is it? [Insert evil laugh]

And one last thought…

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler. – Henry David Thoreau

Well Dear Readers, I’ve blown my expository wad! Was it as good for you as it was for me? I know this post was long, rambling and pointless but at least you have the satisfaction of knowing your life isn’t as pathetic as mine. And really, isn’t that what blogging is all about? – GD

I’ve had some interesting conversations on good old Yahoo! Messenger. Not all of them have been insane but the vast majority of them have been and here are two examples of the mass ignorance of Men who use Messenger for hookups. [Remember, all Yahoo! ID’s have been changed to protect Ms. GD’s privacy]

Computer Lust:

Idiot 1 – 12:26 PM
hi there

Me – 2:02 PM
hi. who are you?

Idiot 1 – 2:02 PM
great and you

Me – 2:03 PM
i'm good thanks but i asked "Who" are you.

Idiot 1 – 2:03 PM
sorry, I'm _______________ and I live in League City

Idiot 1 – 2:03 PM
I work in the Medical Center

Me – 2:05 PM
hiya _______________. are you a doc? nurse? other?

Idiot 1 – 2:05 PM
other

Idiot 1 – 2:05 PM
IT Manager

Me – 2:06 PM
ah! a computer geek? lol

Idiot 1 – 2:06 PM
lol

Idiot 1 – 2:06 PM
what do you do?

Me – 2:06 PM
student/clerical

Idiot 1 – 2:06 PM
ok

Idiot 1 – 2:07 PM
are you open to meeting and getting to know each other?

Me – 2:08 PM
depends. are you a serial killer?

Idiot 1 – 2:08 PM
lol, no

Idiot 1 – 2:08 PM
but serial horny

Idiot 1 – 2:08 PM
don't bring your cat

Me – 2:09 PM
oh brother...

Idiot 1 – 2:09 PM
lol, you said it.

Me – 2:13 PM
well i'm not looking for sex but thanks for your interest!

Idiot 1 – 2:13 PM
sorry to bug you

Me – 2:14 PM
you aren’t buggin me. just not looking for random sex.

Idiot 1 – 2:14 PM
lol, cool

Me – 2:18 PM
yes...i am

Me – 2:22 PM
you're handsome! are you dating all those women on your profile?

Idiot 1 – 2:23 PM
no

Idiot 1 – 2:23 PM
none of them. lol

Me – 2:24 PM
aawwww man! and here i was thinking you were a stud!

Idiot 1 – 2:24 PM
lol, not at all

Me – 2:25 PM
maybe that’s why you're so damn horny? lol

Me – 2:29 PM
well Mr. Idiot I wish you luck with your search for some good lovin'. I'm off to take a wee nap. bye-bye!

Idiot 1 – 2:32 PM
sorry, I had to step away

Idiot 1 – 2:32 PM
bye bye

Trolling For Sex On A Cold Sunday Morning:

Idiot 2 – 11:32 AM
hi there...what part of houston you in??

Me – 11:33 AM
___________ area

Idiot 2 – 11:33 AM
okay...i'm on west side..

Me – 11:33 AM
ok

Idiot 2 – 11:34 AM
well..I don't want to get zapped by your bad cat now also..

Me – 11:35 AM
and why would you? unless you're a horny SOB just out lookin for sex?

Idiot 2 – 11:35 AM
LOL.....ahhhh.....well...some of that is true I suppose too...

Me – 11:36 AM
just some? lol try ALL!

Idiot 2 – 11:36 AM
LOL...well...not a SOB for sure....

Me – 11:38 AM
ok so you admit to being horny and only interested in sex? particularly anonymous sex with easy women you find on yahoo?

Idiot 2 – 11:39 AM
not necessary in all of that...but yes...seeking a lady friend for some adult fun times also.....not seeking every and all women too..

Me – 11:39 AM
you're very naughty...LOL and horny

Idiot 2 – 11:40 AM
LOL...well....you might be right too...

Me – 11:41 AM
uh huh...well good luck with all that. there are plenty of women out there who fit the description of what you're looking for.

Idiot 2 – 11:41 AM
ohh there are huh....they must be hiding too...LOL..

Me – 11:42 AM
nope. just waiting for you to ask i'm sure! LOL there are lots of women with low self-esteem just waiting to be rolled in the hay! LMAO

Me – 11:43 AM
i should stop teasing you...LOL

Idiot 2 – 11:43 AM
LOL...wow...you make it sound like such a joyous occasion too...by the way...I'd like more than a 1 time roll in the hay too...

Idiot 2 – 11:44 AM
teasing never hurt anyone...but pleasing is much more enjoyable too..

Me – 11:44 AM
oh for heavens sake!

Idiot 2 – 11:45 AM
what???

Me – 11:46 AM
That last line was kinds cute and lame...in an old school sort of way. well this fat girl is keeping for panties on so once again i wish you luck sweetheart!

Idiot 2 – 11:47 AM
LOL...well...we can always slide the panties to the side as we roll in the hay too...LOL...well...I'm kinda old school since I'm 47...LOL

Me – 11:47 AM
LOL no.

Idiot 2 – 11:47 AM
thanks for your time and wisdom then dear...

Me – 11:48 AM
bye! have a great day love!

Idiot 2 – 11:48 AM
you too.....wish my key unlocked your secret box too...

Me – 11:49 AM
well as the saying goes...if wishes were horses...

Idiot 2 – 11:50 AM
LOL.....guess so....never heard that one though...
I could make noises like a horse if that would help you too...LOL

Me – 11:53 AM
LMAO! That's tempting but no. Would I have to get naked or get naked and fuck you? On second thought never mind. I'll just go back to bed and masturbate and think about the possibilities. safer that way ya know. Bye! Later! Have a great day!

Idiot 2 – 11:54 AM
LOL...well....we both could be naked and masterbate in front of each other then too...LOL....but I'm not hung like a horse now either...hope that doesn't blow away your thoughts now...LOL

Me – 11:55 AM
no but you've given me tons of pre-masturbatory fantasy fodder so I thank you! Once again, BYE!

Idiot 2 – 11:56 AM
LOL...leave you smiling without any sex...what a guy I am...LOL..

Idiot 2 – 11:56 AM
there are those things called condoms too...

Idiot 2 – 12:00 PM
you should tell me more about your lovely self and hot masterbating body too...

Wasn’t that special? Gotta love a horny ass man right? It would help if he were hot, sexy and smart but as my Grandmother Diva used to say, that would be too much like right! – GD

Cute pic found here

0 Comment

I started this entry earlier this morning as I was watching Bob Ross (R.I.P.) on The Best of The Joy Of Painting but as I listened to his calming voice the piss and vinegar soon left my body and all I wanted to do was sleep. Well now I’m awake, refreshed and ready to bitch about the farkakte men in my life! So if it please the court, I give you Exhibit C in the trial of Humanity vs Idiot Men Folk (Click for Exhibits A and B ). Like to hear it, here it go…

August 30, 2006
Philipp The Idiot:
so i guess the magic is gone today
Glamour Diva:
why do you say that?
Philipp The Idiot:
because it is
Glamour Diva:
you dont want to talk to me anymore?
Philipp The Idiot:
seek immediate medical help if you experience an erection lasting longer than 4 hours
Glamour Diva:
you have an erection?
Philipp The Idiot:
no
Philipp The Idiot:
you?
Glamour Diva:
no
Philipp The Idiot:
then i guess we're good for now
Philipp The Idiot:
let me ask you something else
Glamour Diva:
lol you are angry because i said no sex. i lost a potential date because of that
Glamour Diva:
ask
Philipp The Idiot:
you lost a potential date? which one?
Philipp The Idiot:
i hope it was not july 22
Glamour Diva:
Why?
Philipp The Idiot:
no particular reason
Glamour Diva:
ok that was random and strange...
Philipp The Idiot:
Yes. such is life
Philipp The Idiot:
i know another joke you won't like
Philipp The Idiot:
but first let me ask you that question
Glamour Diva:
anyway, it was very sad because we had good chemistry and shared interests but when i wouldnt have sex with him right away he dumped me
Philipp The Idiot:
you won't have sex with me
Philipp The Idiot:
but what about letting me touch your boobies?
Philipp The Idiot:
well, some of the most loving people have just had enough of all the negativity
Philipp The Idiot:
it doesn't mean they don't love you anymore
Philipp The Idiot:
they just choose not to hang out with people who project negativity
Philipp The Idiot:
i obviously don't know if that was the case with your date
Philipp The Idiot:
but it's a possibility
Glamour Diva:
why cant you take the time to get to know me first? you see this what i'm talking about. this is why i stopped dating because all the men want sex right away! no one wants to spend time learning about the other person! and it is NOT negative! why is not having sex on the first date negative???? I DONT UNDERSTAND THAT MODE OF THINKING?????
Philipp The Idiot:
very simple
Philipp The Idiot:
having sex won't hurt you
Philipp The Idiot:
it will bring pleasure to the man
Philipp The Idiot:
by denying it to him, you are taking away his pleasure for no obvious benefit
Glamour Diva:
so i should have sex with any man that wants to have sex with me because it will bring him pleasure?
Glamour Diva:
are you fucking serious?
Philipp The Idiot:
well, that's the theory of love
Glamour Diva:
and i should ignore my feelings?
Philipp The Idiot:
i'm never really serious anymore
Philipp The Idiot:
it depends on what you call feelings
Glamour Diva:
so if i want a lasting relationship, if i want a husband and kids i should just ignore all that and let men use me for their pleasure?
Philipp The Idiot:
nobody can tell you what you should do
Glamour Diva:
you are!
Philipp The Idiot:
really
Glamour Diva:
you are telling me that the reason i cant get a date/cant keep a man is because i am too negative about sex!
Philipp The Idiot:
i'm just explaining to you how paradise people see it
Glamour Diva:
right...
Philipp The Idiot:
i never said you can't get a date
Glamour Diva:
ok i have to go now
Philipp The Idiot:
wow
Philipp The Idiot:
you have obligations quite late in the day
Glamour Diva:
no i just dont want to talk to you anymore. you've upset me.. have a great evening philipp!
Philipp The Idiot:
that reminds me of plato
Philipp The Idiot:
the allegory of the cave
Philipp The Idiot:
i'll get started with my work then

What, Dear Readers, in the hell was this fool flapping his gums about? If you can decipher his shit then please let me know! After that conversation I was so upset that I buzzed my friend Mauricio because I needed an older, mentally stable opinion on what had just happened. And for the record, Mauricio is not Meshugga. He can be a bit of a schnook with the ladies (and international politics) but never Meshugga! Okaaaaaay? He had this to say:

Later that same evening…
Glamour Diva:
OH MY GOD!
Mauricio:
what?
Glamour Diva:
I JUST HAD THE WORST CONVERSATION!
Glamour Diva:
oh god!
Mauricio:
what was it about?
Glamour Diva:
i silly man telling me the reason men are turned off by me is because i wont have sex with them right away and not having sex is, even if it goes against my better judgment is negative!
Mauricio:
fuck him
Mauricio:
I am getting a lot of attention by girls in ________ and ________ I dont know why
Glamour Diva:
yes...by all means lets talk ______________ instead of my stupid problems...
Mauricio:
I am chatting with a 26 year old one
Mauricio:
I respect your way of looking at things
Glamour Diva:
well thanks.
Mauricio:
I am surprised at this streak of youngish women declaring her interest
Mauricio:
maybe they think I am rich
Glamour Diva:
i suppose. okay i have to go
Mauricio:
bye
Glamour Diva:
i need your help and you arent helping! i need you!
Mauricio:
ask specifically
Mauricio:
I will try to help
Mauricio:
shoot
Glamour Diva:
whats wrong with me?
Mauricio:
nothing
Mauricio:
u are principled
Glamour Diva:
then why am i not in a relationship?
Mauricio:
cause almost nobody is principled
Glamour Diva:
great.
Mauricio:
I advise a little relaxation from u
Mauricio:
just a tiny bit
Glamour Diva:
thats not fair. you get to _______ AND _______ and i'm still single? that is so wrong!
Glamour Diva:
and i am relaxed!
Glamour Diva:
just because i'm upset right now doesn’t mean i'm not relaxed with a man!
Glamour Diva:
JEEEEZ!
Mauricio:
I meant relax your principles
Mauricio:
not your behavior
Glamour Diva:
so i should fuck married men, fuck on the first date, drink, smoke, have a good time and not worry about things?
Mauricio:
_________________________________
Glamour Diva:
i know you arent but still its not fair
Mauricio:
I didnt say that
Mauricio:
you have to generate options
Mauricio:
where should u go to find individuals whose thoughts and wants are similar or at least complementary of yours
Glamour Diva:
good question
Mauricio:
u must answer that question
Mauricio:
among others
Glamour Diva:
well i have tried. nothing works.
Mauricio:
thats not so
Glamour Diva:
no?
Mauricio:
u havent given a good thought to these issues
Glamour Diva:
i havent?
Mauricio:
u havent
Mauricio:
u got more than enough gray matter to generate the option I mentioned
Mauricio:
ask yourself why u havent tried hard enough'
Glamour Diva:
well i must say, i like your approach. its not the usual passive aggressive, "you'll find the right guy one day" bullshit
Mauricio:
u wont find anything if u dont fight for it
Mauricio:
tu nina
Glamour Diva:
i'm a girl?
Mauricio:
si
Mauricio:
nina
Mauricio:
grande de tamano
Mauricio:
nina en muchas cosas
Glamour Diva:
what is tamano? i'm a girl in many things?
Mauricio:
size
Mauricio:
a big sized little girl
Glamour Diva:
a little girl in a woman's body?
Mauricio:
yes a big body
Mauricio:
thats what u r
Mauricio:
and brainy too
Glamour Diva:
a smart little girl in a big woman's body?
Mauricio:
EXACTLY
Glamour Diva:
LOL
Glamour Diva:
ok. i can accept that
Mauricio:
a smart principled little girl in a big woman's body
Mauricio:
now it is complete
Glamour Diva:
LOL

Dear Mauricio, you may be an old horn dog but you really know how to make a woman feel special!


In the immortal words of Michael Corleone, just when I thought that I was out they pull me back in! – GD

I am tired; my heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands, I will fight no more forever." – Chief Joseph surrendering to the United States Army, October 5, 1877, Bear Paw Mountain, Montana

I feel you Chief Joseph ! Okay so maybe I don’t. I mean I’ve never experienced genocide, the displacement of my whole tribe and the subsequent ruination of an entire way of life but the sentiment, I think, is the same. I give up…surrender to forces that are greater than me and completely beyond my control. From this day forward Glamour Diva will date no more forever!

How did I reach such a drastic finale? Honestly I’ve been thinking about it for the last few years. I’ve tried being myself, being someone else, changing him, not changing him, boyfriends, friends with benefits, internet dating, blind dates, one night stands, married men, single men, young, old, fat, slim, muscular, flabby, little dicks, big dicks, tall, short, smart, dumb, witty, obtuse, rich, poor, black, white, Latino and on and on ad nauseam and ad infinitum! It’s just not working people! So I’m giving it up and turning it loose [Thank you En Vogue]! I can’t go on like this Dear Readers. The continued dissatisfaction is just making me more and more bitter and disillusioned and that just ain’t right. A person like me, full of mirth and dimpled smiles with a laugh like wind chimes caught in a soft spring breeze, should not be bogged down by the weight of these dating disasters! That’s why I’ve deleted all my Internet dating profiles and will refuse all future requests for dates as well as all requests for hot, sweaty monkey love.

But a girl needs goals even if she can’t get no lovin’ so I’ve decided to focus on other aspects of my life like school, finding a better job, writing and Yoga. I’ve also decided that when asked why I am no longer dating, I will not dive into a lengthy explanation of the whys and wherefores but instead will say that I am saving myself for Frédéric Michalak , the hot French rugby player I so often drool over. You see it’s a lot easier to have people believe that you are pining away for some unobtainable man who lives in another country and probably can’t speak English, then to have same said people stare at you in disbelief, scratch their heads and tell you over and over how what you’re going through is just a phase and that some day your Prince really will come and all the other clichés that get thrown about when people are at a loss for anything constructive to say!

So there you have it Dear Readers – the end of an era. But don’t cry for me! And for the love of Mike please offer me no platitudes! As long as there are Prison Break reruns, cookies n’ cream ice cream, small, yappy dogs, vibrators and hot yoga classes I’ll be fine. Trust me!


The 13th installment…tis strangely fitting no? Ah well, it was good while it lasted. So until I find more of my life’s ignorance to serialize for your enjoyment, you’ll just have to be satisfied with re-reading installments 1-12. Smooches Dear Readers! – GD

Every once in a while you meet a child that drives you wild
With unmistakable downtown style
Her winter coat and sexy tokes on camel smokes
Don’t prepare you for the laugh that explodes

I try and I damn try but this dating thing never seems to work out! Notice I said dating as in an on going thing? Sure I can get him interested. I can even get him to go on a date, granted only after several weeks of instant messaging and still only to his crib where I am subjected to his filthy, groping tentacles!

I could understand if I were a supermodel or an actress or anyone who would illicit such a response in a man but I’m just me (although quite fabulous if I do say so myself) and all the dicks standing at attention when I walk into the room, while flattering, are starting to get on my damn nerves! I mean no one is that hot to trot right? Not even me! Maybe galaxyMafia is right and it’s all about the pheromones? Maybe my mouth is saying ‘let’s have a meeting of the minds’ while my body chemicals are saying ‘ride me like the Lone Ranger rode Silver’? Or maybe large boobs and childbearing hips automatically signal push over in the male mind?

So I wonder, am I any different from any other woman and are the “hot shit” women any different from me? Is it really all about the cooch and whether or not I want to share it with countless men and less about my talents, ideas, dreams and aspirations? The answer to these questions is a resounding yes Dear Readers! Men don’t care what the hell women look like and they care even less about what women think. Oh sure they play lip service to wanting a strong, attractive, independent, successful, loving woman but when they get one, even the holy grail of women, they either turn crazy, stupid or fuck her over royally! Case in point:

Erykah Badu
Dynamic singer, songwriter, dancer and actress, Ms. Badu would be a welcome addition to any man’s life…or so one would think. Seriously, what good is a calming, spiritual influence in your life when all you care about is running with your boys and screwing around? It’s absolutely no good Dear readers! Being dumped by two successful men (Rap star Common and her baby daddy, André 3000) would make any woman bitter but Ms. Badu hasn’t stopped making music and immersing herself in other projects. Let’s hope she’ll eventually find a man who won’t jump ship right after impregnating her or after being all up in Essence magazine talking about their "special love".

Natalie Portman
So cute…so smart…so talented! What can I say about Natty Nat that hasn’t already been said? I know V For Vendetta was a bomb but that wasn’t entirely her fault and I don’t think her love life should suffer because of it! Actually, I think the reason she can’t keep a man is because she’s smarter than all the men she’s ever dated (Moby, Lukas Haas, Gael Garcia Bernal, Zach Braff, Jake Gyllenhaal) and we know how much highly intelligent women intimidate men don’t we? So Nat, if you’re reading, don’t give up girl. You will find a hot, smart guy who gets you and he will never dump you for a silly, blond flibbertigibbet with bad teeth [cough]Kirsten Dunst[cough]!





Halle Berry
I’m honestly not a Halle fan but I feel her pain. It’s no wonder she’s a bit crazy: Wesley "The Rice Chaser" Snipes beat the hearing out one of her ears, David Justice cheated on her and acted a plum seed fart ass (as Daddy Diva used to say) during the divorce. Then Eric Benét showed up and cheated on her even more, denied her access to his daughter whom she’d come to love and dragged their business all up and down the street! She’s with the hot white guy now but those of us who have dated other flavors know that there really is no difference. White men will act the foolywang just as quickly as any other man so I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you Halle. Lord knows you need a blessing in your love life!

The fact is she’s an actress using the bedroom for practice
Making him think his kiss is all she’s ever imagined
With a pocket full of rocket fuel dragging strings that pull
On a heart that’s uncertain, but beautiful

To Erykah, Natalie and Halle, if within the next ten years you find yourself alone, broken and bitter you are welcome to come live with me in Texas in my dilapidated house full of small, yappy dogs (I don’t like cats). The four of use can sit around all day eating chocolate and commiserating about how shitty men are and how we’ve wasted our lives. Deal? – GD


Song lyrics from Being A Girl by Van Hunt

5 Comments

Well it finally happened Dear Readers. I, Glamour Diva, had one, fabulously awesome date! Sigh! It was so wonderful Dear Readers that I don’t know if words can express just how wonderful it truly was. But because it was just so beautiful and because I know you love reading about other folks business and making snap judgments (well don’t we all?) I will try my best to give you all the fascinating details. Ready?

8/2/2006 at 7:13:06 PM
Check out my profile and tell me if you want to chat.

8/2/2006 at 9:24:46 PM
Hello there Handsome! You have a great profile but my body type is neither Slim/Slender, Average, Athletic, Petite, nor Toned. Sorry!

Smooches,
Glamour Diva

8/3/2006 at 7:58:32 AM
Hello Glamour Diva,

Yes you sound like a terrific person that I would like to know. Tell me a little more about yourself.

Steve

8/4/2006 at 7:05:04 PM
Hi Steve!

You want to know more about me? You mean other than what’s in my profile? ;-) Well I like whiskey, I love to laugh, the only sports I like are baseball and rugby (and some Olympic sports), I like pubs and clubs that aren’t too noisy, I like classic movies and taking naps with one very special man. [I know that last sentence was terribly precious but dating is war and if I have to channel my inner sex kitten I will! Besides, it worked…]

What about you?

Smooches,
Glamour Diva

8/4/2006 at 7:31:08 PM
Yes I love to take naps with that one special woman. I like baseball & football and like a quiet intimate place to drink with that special diva. I work in the ____________ field, with a partnership in the ____________ business. What about you? A student or is their more?

Steve

8/4/2006 at 7:40:57 PM
Well Steve, I go to school part time and I work full time. I work temp at the moment (basic clerical) because it's easier to take off from work when needed but I was a _____________ for several years before returning to school.

So what do you _________ besides _________? How long have you been in the business? Do you enjoy it?

8/4/2006 at 7:47:42 PM
I have been in the ________ business for about 15 years, it is both interesting and somewhat of a hassle but the money is good and I like to see things take shape from just ____ to a _______. How would you like to meet tomorrow in the afternoon for say a coffee or some drinks?

Steve

8/4/2006 at 8:07:56 PM
I thought you'd never ask! LOL But the afternoon is bad for me. I have some errands to run with my mother. I'd prefer the evening but if that isn't good for you we can plan another time.

Smooches,
Glamour Diva
713 555 5555

8/4/2006 at 8:18:11 PM
The evening is great for me. I will call you tomorrow morning to set a time. I look forward to us meeting.

Steve

8/4/2006 at 8:23:31 PM
Great! Talk to you then...

So Saturday night I hurried home and got ready for the date. I wore a very pretty black dress that hit just below the knee, fitted at the waist, wide at the hip, sleeveless with a deep V-neck (I know, très chic!). I wore simple gold hoops, clear lipgloss and gold, satin spiked heels that have an overlay of black lace. My handbag was gold satin with silver, gold and bronze sequins. In other words, I was lookin’ fierce!

We were supposed to meet at a local pub, The Kelvin Arms, but I’d recently lost my ID so we decided to meet at a restaurant, Mi Luna . It was hotter than Hades, even at 7:30pm, and it showed. My God but I was sweating like there was no tomorrow! Yes I admit to the sweat. Women in Texas don’t glisten…it’s too damn hot for that!

Anyhoo, we met at the bar and I was pleasantly surprised. He looked much better in person and he has the most incredible brown eyes and a very mischievous, boyish smile! He’s tall, about six feet or so and very much a gentleman. And did I mention he’s old enough to be my Dad? Well almost. If he’d started in his late teens, well you get the picture. We started out sitting directly across from each other but as the restaurant got busier he moved next to me so we could hear each other better. It was odd but it seemed like their were invisible laces on us and someone kept pulling them tighter and tighter as got closer and closer. By the end of the date we were thigh-to-thigh and shoulder-to-shoulder! And he held my hand! And looked deeply into my eyes! And told me I was “lovely”! And he blatantly ogled my cleavage!

But the very best thing about the evening was that he understood my pop culture references which means he isn’t a complete idiot:

1. He was telling me about his childhood and how he loved to go sledging. So I asked him if his sled was named Rosebud. He totally got it! He even gave me some cool Hollywood gossip about William Randolph Hearst but that’s another blog entry all together!

2. I remarked on how close we were and he asked me if I minded. I said no so them he asked if he could get even closer and I laughed because I remembered an old Groucho Marx joke from the movie, A Day At The Races. Groucho’s character, Dr. Hugo Z. Hackenbush (LOL), is chatting up this woman and she’s getting really excited. So she grabs Groucho, presses him to her chest and calls out, “Hold me closer! Closer! Closer!” And Groucho stares directly into the camera and says, “If I hold you any closer, I'll be in back of you.” Steve laughed his ass off on that one!

After dinner he dropped me off at my car and we shared a kiss, very sweet but no tongues, and then I walked to my car on a billowy cloud of happiness! I even got hit on on the way to my car! Well warm, fuzzy feelings will do that to you. I think you may be wondering if I really like this guy. Well I do like him but I’m a naturally cautious person so we’ll see how long it takes him to turn into a flaming sack of shit…if ever. What ever happens Dear Readers I will be sure to keep you updated and posted.

Steve called while I was writing this and we have another date Tuesday. Yay! But don’t worry Ladies! I didn’t break any rules. We spoke Sunday about going out again so I did have advance notice. Ms. GD got this…don’t worry… – GD

Welcome, Dear Readers, to part eleven of my eternal damnation, The Internet Dating Chronicles Of Glamour Diva – Transatlantic/Equatorial Africa Edition (Episode 9, Series Finale!)

So…when last we met, “Powel”…oh forget it! If you’ve been with me this long you already know what’s coming next; more “love”, more inane chatting which we all know is just a set up for…Read and find out! So here it is Dear Readers, with further ado, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the thrilling Series Finale, which will answer all your burning questions! Oh and God Save the Queen!

June 29, 2006

Glamour Diva: Hi!
BUZZ!
BUZZ!
Powel The Idiot: hello my love
Glamour Diva: hello baby! how are you?
Powel The Idiot: i am sad
Glamour Diva: why?
Powel The Idiot: i am not with u
Powel The Idiot: i am missing u so so much my love
Glamour Diva: aren’t you coming home soon? Won’t be together soon my sweet?
Powel The Idiot: we will surely be together soon my love
Powel The Idiot: but i cant wait honey
Powel The Idiot: i am missing u so so much my love
Glamour Diva: what can i do to make things better for you baby?
Powel The Idiot: tell me u will love me till the end of time
Powel The Idiot: that together we will be forever my love
Powel The Idiot: i am afriad honey.. another man can take u away from me honey
Glamour Diva: no, no other man could take me away from you. and i will love you and be with if you can do something for me?
Powel The Idiot: what is that my love
Glamour Diva: tell me that you will always respect me and appreciate the things i do for you
Powel The Idiot: i will my love with all my heart and soul
Powel The Idiot: i promise my love
Glamour Diva: i promise you too baby
Powel The Idiot: i love uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Glamour Diva: do you feel better?
Powel The Idiot: yes my love
Powel The Idiot: lol
Powel The Idiot: i love uuuuuuuuu
Glamour Diva: lol so are you almost done with your business there?
Powel The Idiot: yes
Powel The Idiot: just cant wait to be with u my love
Glamour Diva: well you'll have to wait. at least a while longer
Powel The Idiot: just have to wait for some weeks more my love
Powel The Idiot: i remember my love
Powel The Idiot: honey i have a liltle problem here
Glamour Diva: oh?
Powel The Idiot: some of my client want to buy some electronics honey
Glamour Diva: ok. well we can talk later
Powel The Idiot: no honey
Powel The Idiot: and which i am very happy for that my love
Powel The Idiot: so the sad thing is that they want to pay me buy money order my love
Powel The Idiot: and the sad thing is that they dont cash money order down here in africa my love
Powel The Idiot: and i dont want to lose this customers
Glamour Diva: ok so what can i do?
Powel The Idiot: well i use to do this for my company while i am in state honey
Powel The Idiot: but i cant do it from hear my love
Glamour Diva: so you want me to do it? ok i will! anything for the love of my life!
Powel The Idiot: so honey i want u to help me with it my love
Powel The Idiot: better my love
Powel The Idiot: i love uuuuuuuuuuu
Glamour Diva: ok so give me all the details and i will take care of it for you
Powel The Idiot: together we will be forever my love
Powel The Idiot: okay
Powel The Idiot: honey i will need u to email me ur full name and address so it can be send to u my love
Glamour Diva: ok. right now?
Powel The Idiot: PowelTheIdiot@yahoo.com
Powel The Idiot: yes my love
Powel The Idiot: u always make me happy my love
Powel The Idiot: i love uuuuuuuuuuuuu
Glamour Diva: ok but before I do let me just say that I knew all along that you were a fraud! LOL If you ever contact me again I will call the police and tell them what you're doing. You are a Nigerian criminal and I hope you burn in Hades! Goodbye you evil mother fucker!
Powel The Idiot: what did u mean by that
Powel The Idiot: i cant believe this
Glamour Diva: you aren’t an Englishman! You don’t have a son and none of the things you said to me are true! you steal from women!
Yahoo! Messenger: Powel The Idiot has signed out
Powel The Idiot: so u think i am a scammer right?
Glamour Diva: yes. that’s a very popular Nigerian scheme
Powel The Idiot: yes i know abt that
Powel The Idiot: i have also been scam by this people
Powel The Idiot: so u think i am one of them right
Powel The Idiot: that is very sad
Glamour Diva: ok so what if i do cash these money orders. what would you want me to do with the money? be honest
Powel The Idiot: send it back here
Powel The Idiot: so i can put it in my company account and then come back home honey
Glamour Diva: so if you are truly a businessman why can’t you do that through the bank? why do you need me? if you want me to believe you then prove it. make me believe you are an honest God-fearing man.
Glamour Diva: take a picture of you and John together and send it to me
Powel The Idiot: okay
Glamour Diva: with a current newspaper
Powel The Idiot: i will do that tomorrow or this weekend okay
Powel The Idiot: ok
Glamour Diva: ok. so who is that white man in that picture you sent me? what do you really look like?
Powel The Idiot: u have my pics okay
Powel The Idiot: i am very sad with the way u r thinking right now
Glamour Diva: ok well call me so i can hear your British accent. call me right now
Glamour Diva: if you really love me as you say. you will do it now
Powel The Idiot: i will have to call u tomorrow okay
Glamour Diva: no. That was the wrong answer. Now I am sad that you felt you needed to lie to me and use an innocent child in your lies as well. That’s pitiful.
Powel The Idiot: u think i am lieing to u right
Powel The Idiot: that is very sad
Powel The Idiot: well let forget abt it okay
Powel The Idiot: i will talk to u tomorrow
Powel The Idiot: will evn all u
Powel The Idiot: bye
Glamour Diva: no you won’t i am blocking you now. Goodbye and God bless!
Yahoo! Messenger: Powel The Idiot has signed out

So he never got back with me but I suspect you already guessed that. Ladies this is just one example of the evil that lurks on the net. You can’t let your guard down for a second. Remember, if it’s too good to be true, then it probably for damn sure is! Peace out ya’ll and stay alert! – GD

Welcome, Dear Readers, to part ten of my enduring wretchedness, The Internet Dating Chronicles Of Glamour Diva – Transatlantic/Equatorial Africa Edition (Episode 8)

So…when last we met, “Powel” pledged his steadfast love for me and then put his son on who also pledged his steadfast love for me as well as his desire for me to become his new mommy. And as usual Powel continued to vandalize the Queen’s English in a manner so repugnant that the British Parliament voted unanimously to declare war on him!

June 26, 2006

Powel The Idiot[offline 7:53:17 AM]: hello my love.. hw u doing and hw is the day going with u?
Powel The Idiot[offline 7:53:29 AM]: i am missing u so so much ... just cant wait to be with u my love
Powel The Idiot[offline 7:53:30 AM]: miss ya
Glamour Diva [4:17:07 PM]: HI! I'm at home now
BUZZ!
Glamour Diva [4:23:43 PM]: did i miss you again?
Powel The Idiot[4:57:47 PM]: hello my love
Glamour Diva [4:57:54 PM]: hi baby!
Powel The Idiot[4:58:26 PM]: hw u doing my love
Powel The Idiot[4:58:29 PM]: i have miss u so so much
Glamour Diva [4:58:54 PM]: i'm good. i miss you too! how are you and John doing? how was the party?
Powel The Idiot[4:59:32 PM]: fine
Powel The Idiot[4:59:40 PM]: everything was sweet honey
Powel The Idiot[4:59:45 PM]: i really miss u
Glamour Diva [5:00:01 PM]: why do you miss me so much?
Powel The Idiot[5:00:13 PM]: i am missing my wife
Powel The Idiot[5:00:22 PM]: cant stop thinking abt u my love
Glamour Diva [5:01:24 PM]: i just don’t understand how you can miss someone you've never met
Glamour Diva [5:01:55 PM]: hello?
Glamour Diva [5:03:37 PM]: hello?
BUZZ!
Glamour Diva [5:04:21 PM]: yes?
Powel The Idiot[5:04:26 PM]: got booted
Powel The Idiot[5:04:41 PM]: so hw u doing honey?
Glamour Diva [5:05:27 PM]: i'm good. so tell me about the party! you never want to talk about John!
Powel The Idiot[5:06:04 PM]: the perty was fine
Powel The Idiot[5:06:24 PM]: have alot of john friends here and even some of my staff
Glamour Diva [5:06:51 PM]: so what happened? did you have music? what presents did he get?
Powel The Idiot[5:07:05 PM]: yes
Powel The Idiot[5:07:15 PM]: very nice music
Powel The Idiot[5:07:43 PM]: and i present him a Game
Glamour Diva [5:08:01 PM]: ...fine...so what sort of underwear do you wear?
Powel The Idiot[5:08:28 PM]: lol
Powel The Idiot[5:08:37 PM]: a normal shirt
Glamour Diva [5:09:04 PM]: boxers? briefs? or bikini underwear?
Powel The Idiot[5:09:42 PM]: and a black trousser
Glamour Diva [5:10:31 PM]: LOL NO! you don’t understand! what kind of pants, knickers do you wear?
Powel The Idiot[5:11:03 PM]: boxers honey
Powel The Idiot[5:11:12 PM]: white color
Glamour Diva [5:11:41 PM]: lol ok. thanks!
Powel The Idiot[5:11:50 PM]: and u?
Glamour Diva [5:12:30 PM]: just regular panties but not when I'm asleep. i don’t wear anything when I sleep
Powel The Idiot[5:12:49 PM]: wow
Powel The Idiot[5:13:02 PM]: so that means that is hw we will be sleeping together?
Glamour Diva [5:13:31 PM]: lol no that just means i sleep nude! naughty...
Powel The Idiot[5:13:39 PM]: lol
Glamour Diva [5:15:01 PM]: so tell me more about you. what foods do you like?
Powel The Idiot[5:15:17 PM]: Rice and beaf
Powel The Idiot[5:15:18 PM]: u?
Glamour Diva [5:15:59 PM]: OMG! you only eat rice and beef? that’s it?
Powel The Idiot[5:16:26 PM]: i dont eat much
Powel The Idiot[5:16:27 PM]: u?/
Glamour Diva [5:17:46 PM]: i eat a lot! i love food. but i cant eat as much as i used too. i like all sorts of food: Indian, Chinese, Mexican, Japanese, African, Middle Eastern
Glamour Diva [5:18:03 PM]: what about John? does he only eat beef and rice?
Powel The Idiot[5:18:17 PM]: nope
Powel The Idiot[5:18:19 PM]: lol
Powel The Idiot[5:18:34 PM]: eat english food honey
Glamour Diva [5:19:18 PM]: so what’s english food? toad in the hole? fried tomatoes? blood sausage?
Glamour Diva [5:19:29 PM]: yeck!
Powel The Idiot[5:20:28 PM]: lol
Powel The Idiot[5:20:45 PM]: fried tomatoes and beaf
Powel The Idiot[5:21:15 PM]: and also bread and egg
Glamour Diva [5:21:16 PM]: i guess that’s why the two of you are so skinny
Powel The Idiot[5:21:27 PM]: lol
Glamour Diva [5:22:17 PM]: so do you like to give and receive massages?
Powel The Idiot[5:22:21 PM]: so what did u want us to be eating now so we will be very big
Powel The Idiot[5:22:31 PM]: sure
Glamour Diva [5:24:31 PM]: LOL i dont want you to be big! i just want the two of you to eat more veggies. like green salads, ya know?
Powel The Idiot[5:24:49 PM]: sure
Powel The Idiot[5:24:57 PM]: i understand my love
Glamour Diva [5:25:23 PM]: but if you're happy and healthy then that’s all i really care about
Glamour Diva [5:26:42 PM]: hello?
Powel The Idiot[5:26:59 PM]: i am here my love
Powel The Idiot[5:27:05 PM]: just waiitng for u to talk
Glamour Diva [5:27:21 PM]: i said, if you're happy and healty then thats all i really care about
Powel The Idiot[5:27:39 PM]: thx honey
Powel The Idiot[5:27:46 PM]: i cant wait to be with u my love
Powel The Idiot[5:27:54 PM]: hw will u feel when we first meet
Glamour Diva [5:28:13 PM]: i think i'll be happy and very excited. u?
BUZZ!
Glamour Diva [5:29:12 PM]: think i'll be happy and very excited. u?
Powel The Idiot[5:29:52 PM]: wow
Powel The Idiot[5:29:55 PM]: that is sweet
Powel The Idiot[5:30:17 PM]: i will run to u and give u a sweet kiss
Glamour Diva [5:30:27 PM]: on the cheek?
Powel The Idiot[5:30:39 PM]: nope
Powel The Idiot[5:30:42 PM]: on ur lips
Glamour Diva [5:30:56 PM]: cheeky!
Yahoo! Messenger [5:31:09 PM]: Powel The Idiot has signed out
Glamour Diva [5:33:11 PM]: left again?
Powel The Idiot[5:33:43 PM]: i am back
Glamour Diva [5:34:04 PM]: do you need a new computer?
Powel The Idiot[5:35:01 PM]: the network is very bad here
Glamour Diva [5:35:56 PM]: i see. so are you a drinker?
Powel The Idiot[5:36:03 PM]: nope
Powel The Idiot[5:36:11 PM]: i don’t drink
Powel The Idiot[5:36:11 PM]: u?
Glamour Diva [5:36:35 PM]: i drink a little, wine. in your picture you had a beer
Powel The Idiot[5:37:06 PM]: lol
Powel The Idiot[5:37:15 PM]: then i was drinking but i have stop
Glamour Diva [5:37:24 PM]: why?
Powel The Idiot[5:38:03 PM]: dont like it
Glamour Diva [5:38:47 PM]: i see. so tell me powel, why is your profile invisible on noneofyourbusiness.com?
Powel The Idiot[5:39:23 PM]: i have stop using it honey
Glamour Diva [5:39:48 PM]: why?
Powel The Idiot[5:40:01 PM]: cos i have u
Glamour Diva [5:40:59 PM]: really? so let me see what we have. you only eat rice and beef, you're skinny, you don’t drink and you wear white boxers?
Glamour Diva [5:41:03 PM]: is that all?
Powel The Idiot[5:41:30 PM]: yes
Powel The Idiot[5:41:32 PM]: lol
Glamour Diva [5:43:05 PM]: i don’t think so. i think there’s more to you then you let on. what are you hiding Powel?
Powel The Idiot[5:43:29 PM]: nothing
Powel The Idiot[5:43:33 PM]: pls brb
Glamour Diva [5:49:19 PM]: ok
Glamour Diva [5:58:42 PM]: Okay...i guess you left again?

Only one more hilarity suffused episode to go before I can finally put all this behind me and move on to the next idiot. Stay damned tuned… – GD

Cute comic found here

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So I was checking out one of my new favorite blogs today when I happened upon this entry. I started typing a comment but when I noticed how long it was I decided to make it an open letter to the owner of the blog.

Channel…Sweet Channel…There is nothing wrong with you. But then I think, deep down, you already know this. I don’t agree with most of what people have posted here but I will say, practice does indeed make perfect! Yes love does make sex better but as you’ve already said, you were in a few love relationships and the sex wasn’t that hot so apparently that isn’t always the case. Speaking from personal experience, the man I loved the most was one of the worst I’d had sexually. I loved him with all my heart but if he’d said we never had to do it again I wouldn’t have minded one bit! It wasn’t until after many more sexual experiences that I discovered that I do like sex, it’s just that all my ducks have to be in a row before I can truly get down:

1. I have to know him and trust him (No one night stands for me)
2. He has to really be into my body, fat rolls and all!
3. He has to have impeccable hygiene from his scalp to the soles of his NOT crusty feet
4. He has to have a brain in his head (Dumb but pretty men are nice to look at but they turn me off sexually)

And most importantly…

5. I have to WANT to do it. I stress want because many of us, particularly women, think we should want it even when we just aren’t feeling it! Again from my experience it’s normal for me to go several months or even years without seriously wanting to fuck. Sure I masturbate but to get naked and close to another person is just not what I want. Sometimes just knowing that I am wanted (cat calls, whistles, dirty propositions) is enough to get me through until I find that guy that makes me forget I have to work, go to school, change the oil in my car, buy new shoes, etcetera.

I didn’t reach these conclusions overnight. It took lots of trial, error, four years of celibacy and the meditation skills I learned from studying yoga before I figured out what it was that I needed to truly enjoy sex (imagine my surprise when I found out not having any was one way of enjoying it). You’re only at the beginning of your journey of self-discovery so take a deep breath and relax, relate and release. And most importantly, stay open to the moment. Like I always say, I’ll try anything twice!

Smooches and Cyber Hugs,

Ms. GD

Welcome, Dear Readers, to part nine of my perpetual torment, The Internet Dating Chronicles Of Glamour Diva – Transatlantic/Equatorial Africa Edition (Episode 7)

So…when last we met, “Powel” declared his binding love for me, shared lots of personal information with me and continued to molest the Queen’s English in a manner so foul that her Royal Majesty actual considered reopening the Tower of London to prisoners! Oh and did I mention he proclaimed his undying love for me?

June 24, 2006

Glamour Diva: still no Powel...
BUZZ!
Powel The Idiot: i am in my office right now my love
Powel The Idiot: hw u doing?
Glamour Diva: i'm good! are u busy?
Powel The Idiot: yes a liltle
Powel The Idiot: but we can talk for a while
Glamour Diva: sorry. just wanted to say hello
Powel The Idiot: hw u doing my love
Glamour Diva: i missed you
Powel The Idiot: i have miss u so so much
Glamour Diva: how is my favorite 8 year old? is john with you now?
Powel The Idiot: yes is with me
Powel The Idiot: will u like to talk to him
Glamour Diva: yes!
Powel The Idiot: okay
Powel The Idiot: 2 mins
Glamour Diva: ok
Powel The Idiot: hello mom
Glamour Diva: LOL hello John! how are you my sweet?
Powel The Idiot: i am fine
Powel The Idiot: and you
Glamour Diva: i'm very well! what have you been up to lately?
Powel The Idiot: nothing
Powel The Idiot: just having fun with dad
Glamour Diva: are you excited about your birthday? do you and dad have anything special planned?
Powel The Idiot: yes
Powel The Idiot: people will be coming and have party with me
Powel The Idiot: i am very happy
Glamour Diva: WOW! I wish I could be there with you
Powel The Idiot: me too
Powel The Idiot: it will be very nice to be here with us
Glamour Diva: well i have a present for you when you get back. and a hug and a kiss too. but you're too old for hugs and kisses aren't you? lol
Powel The Idiot: mom what can you send me for my B-day
Glamour Diva: i can’t send it to you sweetheart. i have to give it to you when you and your dad get back to texas
Glamour Diva: i wish i could send it
Powel The Idiot: mom why cant you
Powel The Idiot: please
Powel The Idiot: i have never recieve a B-day gift from a woman in my life
Powel The Idiot: even my mom has never present me a gift
Glamour Diva: John! no woman has ever given you a gift? not even in Africa?
Powel The Idiot: yes
Powel The Idiot: so mom i want you to be the first woman
Powel The Idiot: your gift will be the first gift i have ever recieve
Powel The Idiot: but i cant force you to send me a b-day gift
Glamour Diva: I really wish I could do that John but I can't. You'll just have to be patient
Powel The Idiot: ok
Glamour Diva: besides, i want to meet you and give it to you in person
Powel The Idiot: okay
Powel The Idiot: that will be nice
Powel The Idiot: so how is everything going with you and dad
Glamour Diva: LOL the things you say! things are just fine sweetheart. you aren’t worried are you?
Powel The Idiot: i am a liltle
Powel The Idiot: brb
Powel The Idiot: i am back mom
Powel The Idiot: sorry for that
Glamour Diva: ok
Glamour Diva: no prob
Glamour Diva: so why are you worried?
Powel The Idiot: mom about the gift
Powel The Idiot: but i understand
Glamour Diva: why would that worry you? tell me please
Powel The Idiot: becuase you wont send me the gift
Yahoo! Messenger: Powel The Idiot has signed out
Glamour Diva: but WHY should it worry you. i promise you'll get it when you get back
Powel The Idiot: okay then
Powel The Idiot: i understand mom
Powel The Idiot: so i hope things is going on fine with you and dad
Glamour Diva: yes they are. your dad and i are still getting to know each other but i think things are good
Powel The Idiot: that is fine to hear
Glamour Diva: good! i'm happy you aren’t worried about that
Powel The Idiot: i cant wait to meet you
Powel The Idiot: and to see you and dad geting married
Glamour Diva: lol well the last part might not happen so quickly but we will meet very soon my dear
Powel The Idiot: i hope it will work soon
Glamour Diva: i guess we all have to be patient but may i tell you a secret?
Powel The Idiot: yes
Glamour Diva: I really, really, really, really like your Dad!
Powel The Idiot: wow
Powel The Idiot: that is very sweet
Powel The Idiot: i wont tell him okay
Glamour Diva: LOL good! we will let him find out all by himself
Powel The Idiot: sure
Powel The Idiot: can i ask you a question
Glamour Diva: yes
Powel The Idiot: will you like to get married to him
Glamour Diva: John!
Glamour Diva: okay...i think about it, I honestly do but I don't think we know each other well enough to make such a big decision so quickly. does that make sense to you?
Powel The Idiot: yes
Powel The Idiot: i am sure when we all meet you will like us very well
Powel The Idiot: and also love dad so much
Glamour Diva: I know you love your dad and I know we will all like each other. I already like you a lot!
Powel The Idiot: that is fine
Powel The Idiot: mom i have to go now
Powel The Idiot: my teacher is here
Glamour Diva: ok
Glamour Diva: bye!
Powel The Idiot: okay
Powel The Idiot: i dont think dad can still come back online now
Powel The Idiot: he his talking to some of his staff
Glamour Diva: ok i'll talk to him later
Powel The Idiot: okay
Powel The Idiot: bye mom
Powel The Idiot: have a nice day
Glamour Diva: you too
Yahoo! Messenger: Powel The Idiot has signed out

Only two more blood curdling episodes to go before we can finally put this baby to bed. Stay damned tuned… – GD

Cute comic found here

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Welcome, Dear Readers, to part eight of my anguish, The Internet Dating Chronicles Of Glamour Diva – Transatlantic/Equatorial Africa Edition (Episode 6)

So…when last we met, “Powel” declared his irrevocable love for me, introduced me to his “son” (we had a nice chat!) and continued to attack and injure the Queen’s English so badly that everyone in the royal line of succession, from Queen Elizabeth II down to George Lascelles, 7th Earl of Harewood, could feel it! Oh and did I mention he proclaimed his undying love for me (That would be Powel, not the Earl)?

June 22, 2006

Powel The Idiot: hello my sweet love
Glamour Diva: hi baby!
Powel The Idiot: where have u been my love
Glamour Diva: i've been good but i've missed you. i thought you'd forgotten about me!
Powel The Idiot: omg
Powel The Idiot: did u think i have forgotten u
Glamour Diva: well either you forgot or you were very busy
Powel The Idiot: i have been evry busy my love
Powel The Idiot: i have miss u so so much my love
Glamour Diva: i miss chatting with you too! how is “my son John”? LOL 
Glamour Diva: still there?
BUZZ!
Powel The Idiot: i am back nw
Glamour Diva: ok
Powel The Idiot: sorry i go booted
Powel The Idiot: hw is everything with u my love
Powel The Idiot: hw is life?
Glamour Diva: life is good but you didn’t answer my question about john!
Powel The Idiot: john is fine
Powel The Idiot: thx for asking
Powel The Idiot: he always ask abt u honey
Glamour Diva: really? that’s very sweet!
Glamour Diva: do you have a picture of you and John together? may I see it?
Powel The Idiot: yes i have
Powel The Idiot: but not in my PC
Powel The Idiot: he his at home
Powel The Idiot: i mean back in state
Powel The Idiot: i have not download it to my PC my love
Powel The Idiot: i am very sorry
Glamour Diva: okay...so how was your day? tell me what you and John did today
Powel The Idiot: my day was nice my love
Powel The Idiot: and also john
Powel The Idiot: we r always together my love
Powel The Idiot: but i am missing u so so much my love
Glamour Diva: well tell me what you did! i want to know everything! what’s a typical day like for you?
Powel The Idiot: well first go to office and have a nice time
Powel The Idiot: meet some new customers
Glamour Diva: nothing else?
Powel The Idiot: lol
Powel The Idiot: and have nice time to think abt u
Glamour Diva: LOL okay. if you don’t want to tell me then just say so! you are a very secretive man Powel
Powel The Idiot: no i am not my love
Powel The Idiot: just that i dont even know what to say
Powel The Idiot: ask anything my love
Glamour Diva: okay...is John's mother black?
Powel The Idiot: nop
Powel The Idiot: why?
Glamour Diva: just curious. is she white?
Powel The Idiot: yes
Glamour Diva: ok...next question
Powel The Idiot: ok
Glamour Diva: what’s the name of your business and what do you do exactly?
Powel The Idiot: PB-TEACH LMT
Powel The Idiot: buying and selling of electronics
Glamour Diva: how did you get into that business?
Powel The Idiot: my dad told me to try it
Powel The Idiot: so i did honey
Powel The Idiot: and now i Thank God for doing it
Glamour Diva: well that’s interesting! so did you attend university? what did you study?
Powel The Idiot: some i dont
Powel The Idiot: u?
Glamour Diva: i'm sorry, i don’t understand...you didn’t attend university?
Powel The Idiot: yes i dont my love
Glamour Diva: OK. yes i attend the university of houston right now
Powel The Idiot: that is very nice to hear my love
Powel The Idiot: what r u studying
Glamour Diva: communications
Powel The Idiot: that is nice my love
Powel The Idiot: i am very happy to here that honey
Glamour Diva: lol why so happy?
Powel The Idiot: that my wife is in university
Glamour Diva: lol ok
Powel The Idiot: lol
Glamour Diva: so tell me about your parents. what were they like? what about your sisters and brothers? do you look like your mum or your dad?
Powel The Idiot: a very sad memory for me
Powel The Idiot: i was the only child of my family
Powel The Idiot: and i lost them in a car accident some years back
Powel The Idiot: so i have been all alone with my son
Powel The Idiot: i look like my dad
Glamour Diva: well that means your dad was a very handsome man!
Powel The Idiot: lol
Glamour Diva: you don’t think you're handsome?
Powel The Idiot: yes
Powel The Idiot: i am a normal guy baby
Glamour Diva: i don’t think you are
Powel The Idiot: why?
Powel The Idiot: lol
Glamour Diva: i'll tell you when you get home 
Powel The Idiot: okay baby
Powel The Idiot: i cant wait to be with u my love
Glamour Diva: me too. i want to whisper things in your ear
Powel The Idiot: wow
Powel The Idiot: i cant wait baby
Powel The Idiot: i want to make sweet love to u every night and day
Glamour Diva: every night AND day? Won’t you get tired?
Powel The Idiot: nop
Powel The Idiot: i wont
Powel The Idiot: u?
Glamour Diva: lol yes
Powel The Idiot: i love uuuuuuuu
Powel The Idiot: u r very sweet my love
Glamour Diva: well i haven’t made up my mind about you yet.
Powel The Idiot: really?
Powel The Idiot: whe will u do that?
Glamour Diva: after i meet you
Powel The Idiot: okay then
Powel The Idiot: i cant wait
Glamour Diva: when are you coming back?
Powel The Idiot: my love i have to go to bed now okay
Powel The Idiot: in some few weeks my love
Glamour Diva: ok. good night baby!
Powel The Idiot: i will talk to u latter my love
Powel The Idiot: okay
Powel The Idiot: miss ya
Glamour Diva: sleep well!
Powel The Idiot: k
Yahoo! Messenger: Powel The Idiot has signed out

Only three more episodes to go until the thrilling, chilling series finale Dear Readers. Stay damned tuned… – GD

Cute comic found here

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