I’ve been meaning to write this for a while but never got around to it. But this evening, while looking over my list of “To Rent” Bollywood movies, I noticed that I’d already checked off Garam Masala (an Akshay Kumar vehicle) and it reminded me that I owe Arjun Rampal a huge apology! In a previous entry I wrote that Mr. Rampal was the Keanu Reeves of India. Well I don’t mind saying that I was wrong…dead wrong Dear Readers.

Mr. Rampal, while lacking in many basic acting skills, is still leaps and bounds ahead of the hot ass mess known as John Abraham ! Jesus, Mary and Joseph (Or Ganesha, Parvati and Shiva, if ya Hindu!) he is by far the worst actor I have ever had the misfortune to watch! Jumping Jehosaphat AND Jiminy Crickets ya’ll! I mean at least Arjun and Keanu are stunningly gorgeous, which makes up for their woodenness and justifies the ticket price/rental fee. Mr. Abraham, however, is simply so-so and should never have been offered a movie deal! Just how awful must he be if he can manage to make a stinker like Zinda reek even more? Damn Awful baby! [Message to Sanjay Gupta: If you’re going to copy a movie almost scene for scene the least you can do is make it good! You owe it to the people you stole the idea from as well as the millions of people who love the original!]

I could go on and on about how hateful Mr. Abraham is for making us all suffer through his performances but the point of this entry is not to trash talk Johnny boy but to apologize to Arjun for maligning his acting talent so badly – I apologize Mr. Rampal . As long as John Abraham lives you will never be the worst actor in India…or even the world for that matter! Please forgive me?

Hey Abhishek …Aishwarya who? Call me…;-) – GD

A thousand pardons dear reader! Glamour Diva has been away for awhile but she hasn’t forgotten you. Even divas get the financial blues and Ms. GD was feeling low, low, lowdown! But never fear I’m up, up, UP now and ready to dish the dirt with you again. To totally misquote the fabulous Dinah Washington; what a difference a “ducat” makes…

Well what can I say about Keanu Reeves that hasn’t already been said? I know…Oscar Winner! But seriously folks, I LOVE the surfboard wax out of (DUDE!) Mr. Reeves but gurl please; that man could not act his way out of a paper sack with a great whopping hole cut out of the bottom! I don’t know why Hollywood persists in thinking that just because someone is drop-dead gorgeous with smoldering eyes and chiseled abs no forty year old man should be allowed to posses that he should be paid to “strut and fret his hour upon the stage”! But I digress…

It seems that while visiting Chicago’s Second City improve club (with an as yet unnamed cutie on his well muscled arm) Mr. Reeves took time out of his busy schedule to chat with audience members, sign autographs and pose for photos with two lucky (and no doubt drooling) young ladies. And if that wasn’t enough to give the most hardened Hollywood Hater the warm fuzzies, he even crept backstage to talk to the cast and asked intelligent and thoughtful questions about their creative processes! Hold on dear reader…let me phone my priest and see if hell has frozen over!

And now from the sublime to the ridiculous…

Why oh why are Mr. Bloom and Ms. Bosworth torturing me with their silly little “will they or won’t they” games? If they keep this up much longer I will begin NOT to care! Did Orli really buy Kate a ring? Did he really give it to her? Did she give the ring back to him? Did she keep the damn ring? Did she pawn the ring and buy a full set of Luis Vuitton luggage including steamer trunk and puppy carrier? Wait a sec, that’s Glamour Diva’s fantasy! Seriously people! They are behaving just like Ben and J Lo and we all know how that turned out...Gigli (shiver!)

Anyhoo…I truly want my beautiful, raven haired Legolas to be happy. Wipe that smirk off your face dear reader! I REALLY DO!!!! I mean, if he can’t be happy with me then why not Kitty Kat? For pity’s sake you two crazy, cuckoo kids - either piss or get off the pot! - GD

Below is my list of the males of the species I’d like to sup with…or would that be sup off? Sup on? It really doesn’t matter because none of then would have the frijoles to let me do it! Okay, maybe Che would if he were still alive. And I’m sure Senator Obama would if he weren’t happily married and I know Jack Johnson would if he were still alive but the others? Hell NO! What bloody cowards…

Adrian Brody
Al Gore
Andre 3000
Barack Obama
Benicio Del Toro
Bruce Lee
Cary Grant
Che Guevara
Chow Yun-Fat
Colin Farrell
Daniel Craig
Dave Matthews
David Bowie
Djimon Hounsou
Dominic Purcell
Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock
Eddie Vedder
Eric Bana
Ewan McGregor
Frédéric Michalak
Gael Garcia-Bernal
Gavin Henson
Gene Kelly
Henry Cele
Hill Harper
Hugh Jackman (as Wolverine)
Ian Thorpe
Jack Johnson
James Stewart
Jim Kelly
John Mayer
Joshua Jackson
Juan Gonzales
Keanu Reeves
Ken Watanabe
Lemar Obika
Lennox Lewis
Lewis Taylor
Luke Wilson
Ma'a Nonu
Malili "Mils" Muliaina
Massimiliano Rosolino
Matthew McConaughey
Michael A. Rae, Ph.D.
Michael Phelps
Mos Def
Orlando Bloom
Paul Walker
Rakim
Raymond Ayala aka Daddy Yankee
Robert DeNiro
Roberto Clemente
Russell Crowe (as Maximus)
Samuel Le Bihan
Sean Paul
Steve Jobs
Tupac Shakur
Tyrese
Wentworth Miller
Wes Anderson

Glamour Diva reserves the right to delete from or add to this list whenever she sees fit. If your "hunk of burning love" is absent from this list then I am not sorry to say that I do not care! However, if you’d like to debate the issue with me please feel free to email Miss Sakamoto with your worthy candidates. I might respond or maybe not. How can you possible expect me to concentrate on your petty concerns when the universe is expanding! Geeeeeez but you are a selfish Nelly!