Oh Mr. Miller, Must I Bear Your Children And Dress You Too?
Dear Wentworth,You know I love you but I just can not go another day without saying this: What the hell were you thinking when you put this ensemble together? It is just so not conducive to jelly working! I don’t have a problem with the shirt. It’s a lovely shade of blue and blue looks really good on you. What I have a problem with is the manner in which you are wearing the trousers! Two things wrong here – 1) The pants are hiked up under your armpits like it was 1986. You are way too young for Grandpa pants! 2) If your pants have belt loops then for the love of Mike and Bill and Nancy and Pete and Matilda, wear a damn belt! If you are, for some strange reason, averse to belt wearing then buy pants without loops or don’t tuck the shirt in.
Listen Went…baby…I know you’re used to doing your “I’m an individual” thang and that’s cool! I understand that sometimes you just want to put some clothes on and get on up out the house but you can’t do that anymore. People are watching you, judging you, and looking to you for the latest trends. Now hold on a minute! Sit on back down and listen to me please. I know all that bullbooboo ain’t what you signed up for but as they say, thems the breaks!
I know this stardom thing is new to you. And I know it’s stressful being masturbatory fodder for so many women and men as well as a top notch thespian but you will get the hang of it. I promise!
Smooches and Hugs,
Glamour Diva
