First I must say that while I was delighted to find out that Prison Break would be back in March 2006 as opposed to May, I was extremely disappointed with Monday’s lack luster “Fall Finale”. Now I won’t say that the show wasn’t any good it’s just that after all the build up from Fox and the PB producers I expected marching bands, a three ring circus, pyrotechnics plus an all-star musical extravaganza! What I got was the usual tense, well-written episode. So I guess I wasted my money on those Depends huh?

After the show I called galazyMafia to rehash the episode (once you’ve spent four years deconstructing the media your DNA is forever altered and you are never again able to sit back and simply enjoy TV/movies) and we got to talking about Mr. Miller. As usual I began to rant about the lack of information about him and why he always looks as though he’d rather be somewhere else. I started to wonder if he is as tense, controlling and socially inept as he appears. Seriously, did you catch him on Leno? I swear he looked like he would bolt at any moment! Leno kept touching his arm and patting him; trying to get him to fucking relax!

And all the fidgeting and lent picking and the furtive looks…what was all that about? And don’t get me started on how he read that script. Granted, as a rabid fan I know all there is to know about everything he’s done so far but really now, he didn’t even try to switch things up, not even a little!

So all this wondering naturally led me to imagine what sort of person he is when he is far away from the prying eyes of…well people like me! I imagined a Wentworth that is miles away from the public persona he nurses so well. I imagined a Wentworth without borders so to speak, a Wentworth that is straight ghetto!

Come with me now on a journey into the mind of Glamour Diva as she explores The Secret Life of The Pretty – Ghetto D [Don’t worry if you don’t get the reference, ask someone who likes Master P; they’ll be able to tell you]

Ghetto Went likes music but because he’s over thirty he has a fondness for the classics. He has tender memories of his childhood back in Brooklyn, sitting at the kitchen table, doing his homework, while his Daddy plays his old Four Tops, Gladys Knight and The Pips, Isley Brothers, Aretha Franklin and James Brown LPs.

Favorite Music: Old school R&B and Hip-Hop
Maze featuring Frankie Beverly
Biz Markie
Rufus featuring Chaka Khan
Alexander O’Neil (with or without Cherrelle)
Doug E Fresh
The O’Jays
Lenny Williams
Africa Bambaataa
Stetsasonic
The Dazz Band
Teena Marie
Mtume

Ghetto Went is blessed with a very high metabolism so eating healthy has never been much of a concern. He likes comfort food; the kind his Grandma used to make, with some of his mother’s ethnic favorites thrown in for good measure.

Favorite Food: Whatever has the most fat and calories
Matzo ball soup
Rice and gravy
Homemade macaroni and cheese
Fried chicken
Fried fish
Grits and gravy
Latkes
Barbeque
Gumbo
Collard Greens
Sweet potatoes
Cornbread
Peach cobbler
Okra

Ghetto Went, when not busy sniffin’ out the cheddar for high paying, high profile acting roles, likes to tool around the city in his 2006 Escalade. His SUV has been custom fitted by West Coast Customs of MTV’s Pimp My Ride fame. His spinning, thirty inch rims don’t just spin…they have chimes in them too! But where is Ghetto Went headed in his custom SUV? Why to Glamour Diva’s house of course! He’s picking her up for a date. What will they do on their date?

Favorite Date Activities: The more ghetto the better
Red Lobster for all you can eat scrimp, er…I mean shrimp
Buying a bucket of chicken and a couple of forties then heading back to the house to watch Sports Center
Renting a few DVDs and watching them at his shorty’s house

WOW! What a hot image! Add to that cornrows done up in some interesting design, baggy jeans, Timberlands, and an Ecko hoodie and my goodness I am all a tweeter and a flutter! I can just see him pimp walking up to me with a little smile on his face. Then he leans down a bit (he’s much taller than me) and gives me a huge bear hug as he whispers in my ear, “Wassup baby? I been thinkin’ ‘bout you all damn day! You miss me love?”

Shriek! Shriek! Shriek!

But it’s just a fantasy. Sigh. Our boy is way to serious and stalwart for that…or is he?

I will…ponder…this entry tonight after I’ve showered and settled into bed with a glass of wine and a good vib…er, I mean book! – GD