NAME: Raymond Ayala aka Daddy Yankee

AGE: 28 (He’s a February Aquarius just like me! Yay!)

HEIGHT: Dunno

WEIGHT: Dunno

WHY SHOULD SUSHI BE EATEN OFF HIM? Because he’s fine and all Puerto Rican and fine and cute and fine! And did I mention he was cute and fine?

WHEN SHOULD YOU EAT SUSHI OFF HIM? Right after he rocks the mic at one of his sold out concerts but before the groupies sink their teeth into him

WHERE SHOULD YOU BE WHEN YOU EAT THE SUSHI OFF HIM? In the back seat of his draped up, drop top caddie

FROM WHAT PART OF HIS BODY SHOULD YOU EAT THE SUSHI? Those beautiful lips!

HOW SHOULD YOU EAT SUSHI OFF HIM? Like he was the last Alcapurria you were ever going to get!

PROPENSITY FOR VIOLENCE: Medium. He may be a stereotypical “Fiery Latino”.

STALKER QUOTIENT: -600 (increases exponentially if you refuse to throw ya hands in the air and wave’em like you just don’t care)

SHOULD/COULD/WOULD YOU QUIT YOUR JOB FOR HIM? You ain’t said nothing but a word! I don't mind living in Puerto Rico!

IS HE WORTH BEING PHOTOGRAPHED GIVING KARL ROVE A TONGUE BATH WHILE BEING ANALLY PROBED BY RICK SANTORUM AND SPANKED BY “SCOOTER” LIBBY? H to tha…E to tha…L to tha…L to tha…NO!

IF HE WANTED TO USE YOUR PLACE AS A SAFE HOUSE WHILE AVOIDING CAPTURE AND CERTAIN PROSECUTION BY THE FEDS FOR CARJACKING JUDGE SAMUEL ALITO AND HOLDING HIM HOSTAGE UNTIL DUBBYA WAS OUT OF OFFICE? You ain’t said nothing but a word…

WOULD YOU HELP HIM BITCH SLAP SYLVESTER STALLONE TO STOP HIM FROM MAKING ANOTHER “ROCKY” MOVIE? Sigh…of course I would! Guantanamo Bay and Abu Gharib aren’t the only place you can be tortured. Your neighborhood Loews Cineplex can feel like an auto da fé sometimes…

¡Muévalo hermoso! ¡Hágame la sensación mi amor! – GD