This 1 thing he did. . .

Category: , By Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia

While in Hawai'i, fortunately (or unfortunately, she is not sure), galaxyMafia happened upon this Polynesian bloke pictured to the left, and for some reason, whenever she thinks of him, she thinks of that annoying Amerie song. . .and (her own interpretation of) the lyrics keep spinning in her head. . .

Oh, been trying to let it go
Trying to keep my eyes closed
Trying to keep it just like before
The times we never even thought to speak
Don’t wanna tell you what it is
Oh wee it felt so serious
Got me thinking just too much
I wanna set it off, but

It’s this 1 thing that’s got me trippin
It’s this 1 thing that’s got me trippin (you did)
This 1 thing my soul may be feeling
It’s this 1 thing you did oh oh
It’s this 1 thing that caught me slippin
It’s this 1 thing I want to admit it (you did)
This 1 thing and I was so with it
It’s this 1 thing you did oh oh

copyright 2006. galaxyMafia is sure you're wondering just what was that "1 thing" that this guy did but. . .ah. . .she'll never tell. Ha!
 

Michael Phelps’ New Beard

Category: , , By Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia
And no I’m not using the word “beard” metaphorically . No Dear Readers, young Mr. Phelps has an actual and real beard affixed upon his person. My opinion of his new hirsute appendage is torn. On the one hand it makes him look a bit older and makes me feel less pervy for lusting after him. On the other hand…I’m just not feeling it. Oh well, you be the judge:











Other than the beard…MP’s body is still banging like twenty workmen with twenty jackhammers! And don't even get me started on those strategically placed tattoos! Egads, the Summer Olympics can’t come quickly enough!

MP photos found here . – GD
 

Sunday Night Videos

Category: , , By Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia
The following are just a few of my favorite videos featuring fine ass men. Yay!

First up is a guy I’ve never heard of, a French figure skater named Brian Joubert . I can’t understand a word of what he’s saying but it doesn’t really matter because he’s a hot piece of ass and he’s in his underwear!



Ms. GD love the Rugby Players…except when they try to dance. Poor Brodie Holland tries his best but land sakes he’s just awful! Watch and cringe Dear Readers:



I loved this song when I was a kid and I had the biggest crush on the singer, Murray Head . Strangely enough I never had a crush on his brother, Anthony Stewart Head , of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame. Maybe because I was too busy crushing on Spike ? Probably…



If you can’t watch the video or if you’d just like to sing along, here are the lyrics:

One night in Bangkok

THE AMERICAN:
Bangkok, Oriental setting
And the city don't know what the city is getting
The creme de la creme of the chess world in a
Show with everything but Yul Brynner

Time flies -- doesn't seem a minute
Since the Tirolean spa had the chess boys in it
All change -- don't you know that when you
Play at this level there's no ordinary venue

It's Iceland -- or the Philippines -- or Hastings -- or --
or this place!

COMPANY:
One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
And if you're lucky then the god's a she
I can feel an angel sliding up to me

THE AMERICAN:
One town's very like another
When your head's down over your pieces, brother

COMPANY:
It's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a pity
To be looking at the board, not looking at the city

THE AMERICAN:
Whaddya mean? Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking town --

COMPANY:
Tea, girls, warm, sweet
Some are set up in the Somerset Maugham suite

THE AMERICAN:
Get Thai'd! You're talking to a tourist
Whose every move's among the purest
I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine

COMPANY:
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me

THE AMERICAN:
Siam's gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of cerebral fitness
This grips me more than would a
Muddy old river or reclining Buddha

And thank God I'm only watching the game -- controlling it --

I don't see you guys rating
The kind of mate I'm contemplating
I'd let you watch, I would invite you
But the queens we use would not excite you

So you better go back to your bars, your temples, your massage
parlours...

COMPANY:
One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
A little flesh, a little history
I can feel an angel sliding up to me

One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me

Why, why, why do I love Andy Samberg so damn much? Is it because he’s so geeky yet so hot in that I-have-no-idea-how-hot-I-really-am way? Is it because he’s so funny? I think it may be both:

Andy’s Cute Stand-up Routine



Lazy Sunday – Saturday Night Live



Wasn’t that nice? Mmmm…yummy! – GD
 

Just For The Hell Of It - Part 7

Category: , , , By Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia


















So many pretty men…so little access to their tight, hard, sexy bodies! – GD
 

Aloha, bitch!

Category: , , By Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia
Unfortunately, galaxyMafia’s Hawaiian adventure is over. . .

She is now sitting at home in her house in Texas, jetlagged and depressed, wondering how quickly it will take for her sleeping patterns to return to normal (that is, she needs to switch from “Hawaii” time to CST) and how feasible it would be for her to raise the hell up out of this bee-yotch and make the move to Oahu.

Not that GM thinks she’d be any happier in Hawaii.

On the contrary, with the teeming mass of Japanese tourists that pressed in on her from all sides and the ambivalence and apathy of Polynesian men (remember class, poly means many, and trust GM when she says the menfolk come in lots of flavors. Will somebody please call Baskins and/or Robbins?), GM would surely be miserable, crowded and alone. HOWEVER, driving down the S-curves of H1 along the coast, with towering mountains on her left and the Pacific on her right would make up for the tourist traps and the isolation.

Anyhoo. . .right now, GM is a bit too tired to dive too deeply into her adventures but, over the next week or so (or maybe not. . .you know how quickly your girl GM becomes bored with things), she will bring you highlights of her trip, included but not limited to. . .


Do’s and Don’ts when vacationing in Oahu, Hawaii. . .
Preview – Don’t book a luau at the Polynesian Culture Center. That dog and pony show is produced by Mormons so don’t expect to get trashed on mai tais and tequila shots or to hook up with any of the tasty Polynesian natives after the show.

Pesky Asian tourists. . .
Preview – Japanese tourists don’t understand the concept of excuse me. In their dogged pursuit of a seat in the front of whatever activity you happen to be doing, they will push and pull past you with no regard for your life and/or limb. Indeed, galaxy Mafia’s little sister (who happens to be significantly taller than her) almost got her damn eye put out by the tip of some old Japanese bitch’s umbrella!

Pearl Harbor. . .
Preview – Don’t forget to shake hands with the many Pearl Harbor survivors who pepper the park dressed in turquoise shirts and white pants. These gaunt, shriveled octogenarians with damp, papery hands are living tourist attractions who seem determined to relive that day of infamy over and over each day.

Hawaiian newspapers. . .
Preview – The Honolulu Star Bulletin, which was delivered free to GM’s hotel each day (‘cause she got it like that, okay), makes GM want to be a journalist again! OMG! The headlines! Each morning, GM was treated to tantalizing items like, Officer hangs onto car as woman drives away and 4 accused of marriage fraud. GD, I think we need to dust off our news clips, n’est ce-pas?


NOW HIRING. . .
Preview – Honestly, every store GM walked into had a Now Hiring sign in the window. It was like a damn omen! GM can see herself now, standing behind the counter, saying, "Welcome to Jack in the Box, can I help you?"

Horseback riding. . .
Preview – An abrupt, impatient stable owner, thousands of flies and a horse named Trigger that almost slid off a cliff!!! Now, if that don’t get your heart hammering, check your pulse ‘cause you might be in a coma!

Dole Plantation. . .
Preview – Go for the Dole Whip; skip the maze. . .you have no sense of direction anyway.

Hawaiian Shave Ice. . .
Preview – Battle of the shave ice (no “d” needed, baby)!!! In this corner, Aoki’s!! And a few yards to the right on the same street in historic tourist trap Haleiwa, Matsumoto’s!!


Byodo In Temple. . .
Preview – Do I look like a Buddhist? Really? Do I? And what was up with the wild, seething, attacking peacock roaming free?

Fire Knife Dance. . .
Preview – GalaxyMafia has seen the man she wants to marry!!!! He is a Fire Knife dancer and his name is Joseph!!!! He’s from Tahiti!!!!! FIRE KNIFE DANCE IS THE BOMB DIGGITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Polynesian men. . .
Preview – Hawaiians!! Samoans!! Tahitians!! Fijians!! Tongans!! Maori!! So many different menfolk who will probably be so not into you! Alas. . .well, at least GM got a damn calendar.

And much, much more. . .

Overall, GM had a wonderful time, and she discovered that black girls, indeed, do tan!!

copyright 2006. . .galaxyMafia is moving to the islands of Marquesas. The islands are like the size of California and there are only 10,000 folk there. A true misanthrope's dream! Kaoha!!
 

Unforgivable Randomness

Category: , , , , By Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia
Oh my…I really cannot stand this anymore! I honestly cannot accept the fact that Prison Break is over! This has been the most horrendously boring Monday night of my life! No tense drama…no nail biting cliffhangers…no national conspiracies…no hot ass men…just no damn fun! Good googa mooga I need a date! Oops, did I type that out loud?

And speaking of conspiracies…my favorite little conspiracy theorist, galaxyMafia, is out gallivanting…that’s right I said GALLIVANTING…in Hawaii as we speak! So now I don’t have anyone to bitch, moan and kvetch to about the serious lack of Wentworth Miller (aka The Pretty) in my life. As Florida Evans would say, damn, damn, DAMN! Anyway, on to the randomness…

But first:

Hot Man Break


Glamour Diva’s Adventures In Waxing

I’d resisted the urge for far too long Dear Readers so last Saturday I decided I would get my legs waxed. How did I come to this conclusion? Well a few weeks ago I was taking a shower and just happened to look down and there I beheld the forest that was my leg hair. Now I usually shave or use a depilatory but something inside me kept screaming GET IN WAXED! So that’s what I did.

The next day I called Sanctuary Spa and made an appointment. I’d been there several times before but only for massages and facials so I was still pretty nervous. My technician’s name was Linda and she soon put me at ease after she told me she’d been doing this for twenty-five years. The waxing was painful but not in scream your head of sort of way. I must say Dear Readers that I am mightily pleased with the results. For the rest of the day I had to fight the urge to walk up to complete strangers and demand they caress my smooth, smooth legs!

Let us all pray that the rumors are true and that Wentworth Miller and the rest of the Prison Break cast and crew really will be in Texas come June! Hey M8, you think I could get him to run those baby soft hands up and down my hairless legs? We shall see…

Hot Man Break


Not Putting All My Eggs In Someone Else’s Basket

My goodness but life is truly a crapshoot isn’t it? Or maybe it’s just my life? Case in point: Last Wednesday Mama Diva left a very interesting message on my cell. In this message she informed me that women are now selling their eggs to infertile couples for big bucks! She went on to say; will wonders ever cease, those magnificent men in their flying machines, great Ceasar’s ghost and Egads!

Now I don’t normally loose my freakin’ mind when I listen to one of my Mother’s breathless messages about the latest new and exciting technological advances but this one really got to me. Not because I have anything against harvesting eggs for baby starved people, no I’m all for it I mean more power to the people who want to breed I always say. Ya know Ms. GD love tha kids! I think what really got to me is that Mama Diva thought harvesting my eggs was something that I’d really do. Me. Glamour Diva. I don’t care how much money I was offered I would never part with my eggs! And yes I know I’m just frittering them away once every month and that I have absolutely no plans to use any of them and they could be bring new baby petite Glamour Divas into the world but ze eggs, they are mine! Now when I’m dead there are several people who will benefit because I’m an organ donor but I will never…NEVER…ass up off the eggs!

So after I stewed in my own juices for a few days (or should I say “poached” in my own juices?) I calmed myself down and had a nice long think about why I am so violently against selling my eggs. I can scratch off any moral or ethical considerations because I don’t find anything morally or ethically wrong with making people happy. So what could it be? Does the thought of having some anonymous person with half my genetic code running about loose in the world freak me out? Well yes, sort of. Am I secretly holding out hope that I’ll meet a decent, intelligent man with good table manners? Well…yeah. Am I in denial about wanting to hold my own precious Mini Diva (or Divo) in my arms and cuddle her and feed her and play with her and watch her grow into a responsible and honorable human being? Maybe.

But the fact remains that I have no kids and no prospects of ever having any. The only thing I have is hope and I think that’s worth much more than anyone could ever pay me.

Hot Man Break


Where Do You Fall In The Curve?

No one's gonna tell me what's wrong or what's right/Or tell me who to eat with sleep with/Or that I've won the big fight big fight – “Goody Two Shoes”, Adam Ant

A while back I was checking out Totty Land and I ran across the cool website called Breakout Youth Project . It’s a UK group dedicated to helping Gay and Lesbian youth. The site offers plenty of advice and resources but the part I like best are the quizzes. I took the Klein Sexual Orientation quiz. And here are my results:

Klein Sexual Orientation Grid


I scored an average of 2.43

01 2 3 4 5 6
HeterosexualBisexualHomosexual

Meaning

This result can also be related to the Kinsey Scale:

0 = exclusively heterosexual
1 = predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 = equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 = predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual
6 = exclusively homosexual

Summary

The idea of this exercise is to understand exactly how dynamic a person's sexual orientation can be, as well as how fluid it can be over a person's lifespan. While a person's number of actual homo/heterosexual encounters may be easy to categorize, their actual orientation may be completely different. Simple labels like "homosexual", "heterosexual", and "bisexual" need not be the only three options available to us.

Take the quiz

Interesting huh? Actually, I thought I would have been more bisexual but that’s another post all together…

Hot Man Break


Well I’m off to watch a Bollywood movie. I rented three of them Friday so that’s about nine hours of all singing, all dancing, yummy schmaltz for me to drown my sorrows in. I think by the time Prison Break does return I will be fluent in Hindu and Urdu. I wonder what languages, if any, Wentworth Miller speaks? Hmmmm…

And one last time before I go:

Hot Man Break


Easter picture borrowed from here – GD
 

Your "Current Events SAT" Questions For Today Are…

Category: , By Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia

1. Joseph Goebbels was to Adolf Hitler as_______________ was to (and possibly still is) George W. Bush

2. The Burma Railroad Project ( “The Bridge on the River Kwai” ) was to World War II as___________________ is to “Operation Iraqi Freedom”


The more things change… – GD
 

They Put Glamour Diva In An iMix! – Part 2

Category: By Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia

iTunes is trippin’ so I had to list my latest playlist here. The good news: I get to add more songs. The bad news: You can’t preview or buy any of them. Sucks huh? Anywhoo, on with the music!

What Are You Longing For?:
Longing…desire…whatever you call “it” it is that which propels us forward in search of, well, many things such as sexual gratification, romantic love, understanding of ourselves as well as humankind. Or in the case of The White Stripes…the desire to break a foot off in someone’s ass! Enjoy!

Smooches,
Ms. GD


Moi Et Toi – Arabic Groove, Abdel Ali Slimani

Mauvais Sang – Arabic Groove, Khaled

Before I Speak – Before I Speak, Kyle Riabko

The Smart Set – Berlin Cabaret Songs, Ute Lemper

Agua De Beber – Best Of Al Jarreau, Al Jarreau

Space Oddity – Best Of Bowie, David Bowie

Climb – Black On Both Sides, Mos Def

Not Of This Earth – Bridget Jones' Diary, Robbie Williams

A Who A Say – Conscious Party, Ziggy Marley & The Melody Makers

What Have I Done To Deserve This? – Discography, Pet Shop Boys

I'm Still In Love With You – Dutty Rock, Sean Paul Feat. Sasha

Seven Nation Army – Elephant, The White Stripes

Caravan Of Love – The Essential Isley Brothers, Isley, Jasper & Isley

Free Fallin' – Full Moon Fever, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

Ma Peau – Global Soul, Melanie Renaud

Heaven Help – Greatest Hits Limited Tour Edition, Lenny Kravitz

Constant Craving – Ingénue, k.d. lang

Chale Chalo – Lagaan: Once Upon A Time In India, A.R. Rahman, Srinivas

Can't Get Enough – Love Jones, Kenny Lattimore

Immigrant – Lovers Rock, Sade

The Way – Peace Beyond Passion, Me'Shell Ndegéocello

Night And Day – Red Hot + Blue: A Tribute To Cole Porter, U2

(Nothing But) Flowers – Sand In The Vaseline, Talking Heads

Watching You – Stone Jam, Slave

The Man With The Child In His Eyes – The Whole Story, Kate Bush

Trynna Find A Way – Whoa, Nelly!, Nelly Furtado
 

Shut Up Shuttin' Up!

Category: , , , By Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia

You start a conversation you can't even finish it/You're talkin' a lot, but you're not sayin' anything/When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed/Say something once, why say it again? – “Psycho Killer”, Talking Heads

Well my dear, Dear Readers it has been a while hasn’t it? I wish I could say that the reason I haven’t written anything is because I’ve been so busy but the real truth of the matter is that I’ve had naught to say. That’s right, Ms. GD has had absolutely nothing to get off her substantial chest. I know, I know…you can’t believe such an opinionated, hyper-intelligent bitch could go five minutes without spouting off on something or other but it is so very true. This isn’t to say I haven’t read or seen things that make me want to pull out my soapbox and get to agitating. No it just means that I haven’t felt the need to kvetch about anything…until now. To totally misquote Erykah Badu, I’m a “Lewis Carrol girl in a Dostoevsky world” so something ludicrous and drama drenched was bound to happen! Right? Anyway…on to the verbal smack downs:

This week’s list of people whose lips I’d like to permanently zip are:

Elton John - Shut your yap! I used to like Elton but after he stopped being able to produce a hit and started shoving his grandiose (and poorly reviewed) musicals down our collective throats, well he just become a tiresome bore, a caricature of himself and just a huge pain in the ass! What’s with all the “advice” to anyone and everyone? What’s with all the opinions on everyone’s behavior? Remember Sir Elton, it wasn’t so long ago that you were battling bankruptcy and excuse me but Britain only recently allowed gay marriages so why are you acting like a “Smug Married”? For the love of Pete will you just – Shut Up!

Jenny Shimizu – Zip your pouty lips! Jenny we don’t care okay. Unless you have video of you and Madonna/Angelina doing the lesbian nasty then why bother yapping about it? What are you trying to prove? Besides, both of these women have screwed plenty of men and women so the fact that they both screwed you ain’t really news. Also, both of then left you for and married men (two each) so what does that say about your skills in the bedroom? Yeh that’s what I thought. Domo arigato and – Shut Up!

Nick Lachey – Shut your pie hole! I’ve told him once but I guess it didn’t stick so here it is again. Nick…pumpkin…it’s over. Leave Jess alone and don’t talk to any more celebrity rags. No one feels sorry for you so just face the truth. Jessica is America’s bubble headed sweetheart and you betrayed her which means we were forced to take her side. You might have been able to get her back but you kept talking and talking and talking and Texas girls don’t play that! Now Mama GD is going to tell you what to do next. First, get an appointment with Angelina Jolie’s publicist. If anyone knows how to correct your negative spin it will be him/her. The second thing you need to do is have your people call Timbaland, Wyclef Jean or Jermaine Dupree and beg them to help you with your new CD. No more syrupy love songs for you Nicky baby! You need a full on dose of in yo freakin’ face R&B infused pop! If you do these two things you can begin to rid yourself of that hideous boy band taint. It worked for Justin Timberlake and he can’t sing worth a damn! But in the mean time – Shut Up!

Shut Up! Shut Up! Shut Up!

Well that felt good! Now I’m empty and ready to be filled to the brim with more ignorance. Oh I can’t wait! – GD
 

Round One…FIGHT!

Category: , , , , , , By Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia
I’m sure all you gamers out there recognize that line from Street Fighter (Or was it Mortal Kombat ?). I remember years ago, sitting on my boyfriend’s parent’s sofa watching him pay SF and MK. I know what you’re thinking but I was young and in love and hadn’t become completely jaded yet.

Actually, I didn’t really mind watching. The only video game I like is Tetris so the whole idea of a video game whose sole purpose is to beat hell out of your opponent was intriguing to me because I love watching people fight. Now let me clarify what I mean by “fight”. When I say fight I mean brawling, fisticuffs, Queensbury rules or just straight wildin’ out with a minimum of gunplay. Blunt objects are cool (coffee pots, hammers, 2x4’s, etc.) just so long as they don’t overshadow good, old-fashioned fist-in-face.

So with that in mind I compiled a list of some of my favorite celluloid dust ups. Enjoy!

Arsenic And Old Lace (1944) Carey Grant

This is really a Screwball Comedy but there is one really good fight scene that never fails to make me scream with laughter. Most of it takes place off camera so all you see are bodies flying into the fray and bodies being thrown out. Chairs are broken over people’s backs and pieces of broken furniture are thrown around to the sound of scuffling, punching and yelling. What makes it so funny is Carey Grant’s reaction to what’s going on. Here is a sane man stuck in a very insane situation. Towards the end of the movie he’s come to accept the looniness all around him and his reactions are priceless!



The Quiet Man (1952) John Wayne

Okay so this movie is full of stereotypes but we all know stereotypes are based in truth so let’s not get bogged down in that shall we? We all know that all Irishmen aren’t lazy, shiftless, bare knuckle brawling, drunkards but the idea that they are makes for one great movie battle! John Wayne plays a disgraced American boxer who decides to go home to Ireland. While there he falls in love but gets on the wrong side of his love’s brother’s temper. What follows is one of the greatest fight scenes ever. That fight goes from the house to the street, down rolling green hills and into the town and it is fab…u…lous!

Enter The Dragon (1973) Bruce Lee

There are just so many reasons to love this movie! Who couldn’t love hot ass Bruce Lee and his whoops and yells (Waaaaaah! Wooooohaaaaaah!), hot ass Jim Kelly and his Shaolin funk soul brother attitude (To Mr. Han: “Man, you come right out of a comic book!”), Bolo the behemoth, international crime conspiracies, the funky soundtrack and just the cheesy 70’s eastern mysticism of it all? There are many fight scenes to love here but my favorite would have to be the climactic battle between Lee and Han in the mirrored room. Lee tries to put the smack down and is doing well but fails to consider that Han is a crafty sonofabitch! Lee has to use his brains and his brawn to defeat the diabolical Han. After remembering some inspiring words from his sensei he regains the strength he needs to finally send Han on a wild, rickshaw ride to hell!



Drunken Master (1978) Jackie Chan

This movie is billed as the first king fu comedy and yes it is funny (What the hell kinda name is “Thunder Leg” for a villain anyway?) but my favorite scene is where Chan is trying to mack on a girl when her mother rolls up and puts the supreme smack down…right on Chan’s ass! I love a movie where a women doesn’t have to resort to gunplay (usually having said gun slapped from her weak and ineffectual hand), running away in high heels, waiting until the man’s asleep and pouring hot grits on him (If you don’t know ask your mama about Al Green), waiting until the man’s asleep and cutting his dick off a la Lorena Bobbitt or worse yet, committing suicide, to get her very simple point across: LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE FOOL!

The Warriors (1979) Michael Beck

Don’t you just love the good old days? Back then if you mentioned the word “gang” to someone the last thing that would come to their minds would be guns. Switchblades maybe but never guns. This movie not only brings back the filthy glamour that was NYC before Giuliani cleaned it up but also those thrilling days of yore when shooting someone in the head execution style would be considered cowardly! The Warriors are accused of a crime they didn’t commit and they have t make it back to their “turf” in one piece. Along the way they meet many a lame ass gang, at least by post Colors standards, and have to take them all out. My favorite gang/fight scene is a toss up between the Baseball Furies (men in baseball uniforms, painted faces and bats) and the Lizzies (uncharacteristically hot Lesbians with knives). The Warriors dispatch them both in short order but it’s still fun to watch!



Fight Club (1999) Edward Norton, Brad Pitt

This whole movie is of course one big fight but my favorite scene was when Edward Norton’s character beat pretty little Jared Leto’s character so badly that dude’s face looked like raw hamburger! [Insert highly inappropriate and scary laughter] Man, that’s the good stuff!

Sexy Beast (2000) Ray Winstone, Ben Kingsley

Now those of you that have seen this movie might think I’m stretching things a bit here but I say if the antagonist of the movie has been shot in the gut twice with a shotgun (one shot was close range) but still continues to punch, slap, kick and hurl insults at the protagonist and his friends while they in turn punch, slap, kick and hurl insults at him then it’s a fair fight! Bloody as all get out but fair! And for the record, Ian McShane (Deadwood) is the creepiest of all creeps in this movie. Yikes!



The One (2001) Jet Li

This movie has some pretty good martial arts and special effects but it is the very last scene that does it for me! Jet Li, in his halting English (Which somehow makes it sound even better) tells the inhabitants of a penal planet, “I am Yulaw! I’m nobody’s bitch. You…are mine. I don’t need to know you. You only need to know me.” them proceeds to put the smack down on all comers as the camera slowly pans out on his lone form atop a pyramid, adroitly chucking guys over the precipice!

Oldboy (2003) Min-sik Choi

This movie is so deep; not your typical Asian Cinema flick at all! Most Americans, I’m sad to say, will miss the underlying themes because of the subject matter but if you take a chance and leave your puritanical ideas behind you might enjoy it. And if that isn’t enough of an enticement to watch this movie then take in to consideration that it also features one of the most awesome fight scenes ever! One long tracking shot of about twenty men with sticks and bats against Min-sik Choi, his fists and a hammer! Yes I said a hammer Dear Reader! And you know what the best part is? Although he’s bruised and bloodied by the time it’s over he still reigns triumphant! This movie rocks harder than the Stones at Wembley stadium!



A History Of Violence (2005) Viggo Mortensen

You’ve read posts from GM and me about how much we love this movie so I won’t go on about it but I will say that even after three LOTR movies and a few other Viggo vehicles I never thought he was sexy…until this movie. Does that make me peculiar? Probably but I don’t care. I’d love to have a husband who could and would skillfully kill lots and lots of people to protect our family and me. All I can say is bless you David Cronenberg . You are one magical, sick muthafucker and I LOVE you!

What are your favorite fight scenes? Inquiring Divas want to know – GD