Ain’t this some shit?

A couple of days ago I got this very odd email:

Hello Ladies,

Let us introduce ourselves. We are Gary Richards Jr. and Elaine Richards, parents of Gary Richards III whom you have had a long correspondence with by e-mails and instant messages.

We are happy that Gary seeking some new friends through the internet...However, at this time, Gary is low on money and, because of this reason and because of the upcoming Holiday season, he will be unable to send any money at this time (in case you need money sent). If you want to talk to us about your relationship with Gary and/or your future plans, please do not hesitate to call us at (009)(1)(301)555-5555 and we'll be willing to get to know one another much better.

We hope to hear from you very soon.

Sincerely,
Gary Richards Jr. and Elaine Richards

At first I didn’t really understand what the hell this email was about (Sometimes I can be very slow on the uptake) but then it hit me; “Gary” is a guy I used to chat with months ago, before I started back working full time. It was never that deep of a relationship. Especially not deep enough for him to be giving me money! For the record, Ms. GD does not take money (Or rent, clothes, jewelry, durable goods, etc.) from men! The last man she took money from was her father and the only other man she will ever take money from in the future will be her husband! Anyway, I decided to just ignore this shit as I wasn’t speaking to the dude anymore (He’s boring as fuck and can only chat online between the hours of 4:30am and 6:30am) and that it simply did not apply to me. But then I got this email:

Greetings,

I am responding to this e-mail because I am trying to understand the purpose of it. Though you state why you sent this e-mail, I wonder was it necessary. In the future please do not send me e-mails of this nature. I barely speak with Gary now and after this e-mail I doubt it will ever increase. I think sending an e-mail of this nature is immature as well as a violation of our(all these ladies) privacy. I pray that you and yours have a wonderful holiday season!

Sincerely[sic],
June Danielle

When I read the previous I thought, this is some messed up, ghetto shit and why have I inadvertently been hemmed up in it? I decided I’d better email Gary and let him know what the fuck time it is but before I could do so I got the following email:

Dear Glamour Diva,

I learned late yesterday that my parents sent you an e-mail. I don't know how they got your e-mail address (they may have checked my old e-mail addresses and I thought I removed you from my old address book but apparently haven't) but I was very displeased (to say the least!) when they did this. This is an invasion of your privacy as well as mine and I'll try to find out how the heck they got your e-mail address.

Anyway, I wish you Happy Holidays and Seasons Greetings!!!

Truly,
Gary

Okay so all beef has been officially squashed but it has left a bad taste in my mouth so I am deleting “Gary” from my email and Yahoo! Messenger contact lists. I honestly do not need this sort of drama in my life yo!


And you wonder why I’m chomping at the bit to get the hell out of Houston? JEEEEEESH! – GD