Ya'll know I must be MAD, CRAZY bored to be writing about Daniel "The Robot" Caaaaataaaaah but, as the old folks say, "It be's that way some time"! Apparently our old buddy Harold [It's a podcast joke, if you listened you would know] wasn't on his game...again...and accidentally plugged DC directly into the wall instead of the factory recommended surge protector. Of course management says he "strained a muscle" but we all know that's a damn lie as robots are not animals and therefore DO NOT have muscles! Now maybe he has a lot of extra stretchy wires and shit attached to his adamantium skeleton but that's a horse of a different color, so to speak.

No I think our sweet little hunk o'junk is currently spread out on an exam table somewhere deep in the recesses of the All Black's super secret and totally hush-hush underground laboratory [Begin eerie music] in Tasmania getting the full robot spa treatment! Ya know, checking his fluids, replacing the chips that got scrambled from the power surge, upgrading his operating system to Linux [That crappy ass Vista is what got them in trouble during the World Cup!] and testing his targeting systems.

Seriously, I really love this picture; it fits the story so well! If I didn't know this photo was taken during the WC I'd swear it was taken right at the precise moment he started malfunctioning! Can't you just hear all the BOING! CRASH! WHIR! and other noises going on in the background? And don't forget the springs flying every which way and the smoke coming out of his ass! Okay, okay I'll stop! Nothin' but love for Mr. Roboto, er I mean Mr. Carter. - GD

Read the rest of this fabrication here

I wish I could say it's been slow on the rugby news front but honestly I just haven't given much of a damn about the game recently. I'm still reveling in my Bollywood hysteria and general winter ambivalence but I just couldn't pass up this little digital photographic gem! Wow! What a difference eight months makes! I didn't think I would ever see him or his trademark Bald/Bald Fade again! Aawww shucky ducky quack quack Mr. Tuiali'i! You work ya little 'Nesian fro baby...I ain't mad atcha!

But then I won't let myself get too excited because I'm sure by the time Super 14 jumps off next month, Mose will have cut it all off again...or dreaded it...or dyed it blond...or taken his Ginsu knives to his head and fauxhawked it...or something equally fucked up. So, while it lasts, please enjoy the grandeur, the majesty, the power, the lushness and the sheer Fabulosity of Mose's unmodified, magnificent Afro! God bless it and you my Dear Readers - GD

Full story here

See, it really does look like them travel guides claim it does!

copyright 2008

FINALLY! Britney Spears isn't the only person getting love from peeps on the Internet! We got this message from "Anonymous" about how we are so wrong about JC and we suck and JC is the bomb and Rarotongan's and white people suck and blah blah blah! He/she left this comment under one of our Fun With Dieux Du Stade 2008 Calendar posts (?????) so we almost missed it. Maybe she/he was just so freakin' outraged that he/she was confused about where to actually leave the comment...after perusing a few other entries? I feel you "Anonymous", staring at hot, naked men makes us disoriented too. Anyway, enjoy this confusing rant and please try to overlook the grievous spelling and grammatical errors. Again, when you're so passionate about someone it's easy to forget the basic rules of English:

youz ass holes should just leave jc alone, hes done more for the island people then any other footie player over the last 8-10 years. Nz people who come to rarotonga can dish shit out but cant quite take it. Hes an islander we dont care if hes samoan, doubt you would ever see an allblack plaing touch rugby with a bunch of strangers or doing funtions and hospital visits for free. These complaints come from our PAPA'E friends not from the locals. JC doesnt bow down to middle class white people who come to our island and talk down to us.

JC thats why we like him because hes not a saint, and he looks after the majority not an ego booster for the minority.

locals forever.

Indeed "Anonymous"! We could make jokes about how white women must be different from white people in general because apparently JC doesn't mind "bowing down" to them but we won't. Besides, we have no way of knowing what class his baba mama, and all the other white women he's fucked, belongs to. But maybe he doesn't "bow down"? Maybe he plays the hyper-sexed, heathenish Islander to his advantage, cooning his way into their pants? You know white women are making strides in the sex tourism trade so it is possible. Ah well...

Smooches,
The Sushi Girls™

The first gossip post of the brand spanking New Year and it would have to be about Jerry Collins, right? Well let’s not waste any more time Dear Readers, like to hear it here it go:


It seems drama is still a-brewin’ down South. Our sources in the Cook Islands are all up in arms over young Mr. Collins and his inability to act like he has some damn sense! You’ll remember last episode I reported that Jerry Collins was spending some time in Rarotonga before heading back home to Wellington after the Paparazzi where all up in his business and his baby’s mama’s business about their new baby? Well Mr. Collins is still there but it seems he may have worn out his welcome.

The peace loving people of Rarotonga are used to rugby stars paying them frequent and lucrative visits but JC has been acting out recently and they are so over his diva antics! Exactly what sort of diva antics you might ask?

Exhibit A: Jaws dropped one night when innocent townsfolk, enjoying a night out at a local bar, were subjected to JC calling them “boring fucks” and generally behaving like a blooming idiot. This scene lead some, including those who’d broken bread with other famous ruggers, to remark that Mr. Collins seemed a bit “cocky”. [Ya think?]



Exhibit B: It appears Mr. Collins is even too superior to train with the locals at the neighborhood gym. Cook Island Rugby League legend Kevin Iro isn’t even good enough for him as it is rumored that he’s spurned poor Kev’s advances as well. [Well can you blame him? I mean after Graham Henry’s conditioning program worked out so well…]

Exhibit C: Sources confirm that on New Year’s Day JC was seen at a 24 hour store, drunk as a skunk and, presumably, twice as loud. He was accompanied by a local woman (No word on if she was white) and this has left some wondering if they should start saving their old baby clothes just in case a new Rarotongan citizen makes an appearance in nine months. [Oh God please no!]

Well really, are any of you surprised? I know I’m not! I can’t believe it’s taken this long for the cracks to show. But then you, my Dear Readers, are so in love with this fool that I’m sure you’ve already forgiven him and are on your computers right now looking up flights to New Zealand so you can meet and fuck the man Cook Islanders are calling a “cocky little shit”. Just one word of advice ladies…INSIST HE WEAR A CONDOM!



UPDATE: This just in, The weather in Rarotonga calls for a much sunnier forcast now that JC has ceased "makin' it rain on them ho's" in Rarotonga and has hightailed his sexy yet disturbed, no condom wearing, baby makin' ass back to New Zealand. Wait...did you feel that gigantic gust of wind? It must be thousands of Cook Island natives breathing a collective sigh of relief!

Until next time Dear Readers!

Smooches,
Glamour Diva

Don't be shy Dear Readers! If you have any gossip on any rugby player by all means drop us an email at rugbygossip@yahoo.com or Bebo and let us know. We don't discriminate, we'll take gossip on any player from any part of the world. Don't let the gossip die people!