TASTY MONDAY. . .Or, why galaxyMafia don’t like no lean !!!!!!

NAME(S): Black Angus? Hereford? Grand Champion Steer? Who the fudge cares?

AGE(S): Once again, what the fudge does it matter?

HEIGHT(S): Hopefully over six foot four. . .which is, as Shakira would say, what I deserve for being such a good girl (wink, wink)

WEIGHT(S): Don’t know but, they look mighty beefy, don’t they? This here’s the kind of beef you can put in your damn stew, if ya smells what I’m cooking!

WHY SUSHI SHOULD BE EATEN OFF THEM: ‘Cause eight seconds ain't nearly long enough to ride that there bull, pardner!

ON WHAT PART OF THE BODY SHOULD YOU EAT THE SUSHI OFF THEM: Biceps, triceps, pecs, it’s all good in the fuggin’ hood!

WHERE SHOULD YOU BE WHEN YOU EAT THE SUSHI OFF THEM: Out in the middle of a pasture. . .or, at a rodeo. . .or, in a meat market. . .

WHEN SHOULD YOU EAT SUSHI OFF THEM: Definitely before they catch that nasty Mad Cow disease. . .or before they spoil and become rancid. . .or before they get stamped “Grade D” and shipped off to all the inner city public schools of America. . .

HOW SHOULD YOU EAT SUSHI OFF THEM: In one sitting with a steak knife and a bottle of Worstershire sauce!

PROPENSITY FOR VIOLENCE: Well. . .if these fuggers can’t kick ass then what’s the mothafugging point.

STALKER QUOTIENT: 3.99. . .or, is that the percentage of e. coli in his ground round?

SHOULD/COULD/WOULD YOU QUIT YOUR JOB FOR THEM: Probably not. . .after all, beef is expensive. Unfortunately, your minimum wages might go further with a chicken or a turkey. Sad. So sad. But, take heart! All is not lost! At least Black Angus is more beneficial than that pig! Th-th-th-that’s all folks!

IS ONE OF THESE SLABS OF BEER. . .ER I MEAN. . .MEN. . .WORTH FIGHTING SOME FAT, FLY-SWATTING, CUD-CHEWING, NEW GATE STARING AT HEIFFER NAMED ELSIE OVER? Only if, as Elsie does, you’re a nationally recognized brand with your face of the front of a milk carton.

IF ONE OF THESE SLABS OF BEER. . .ER I MEAN. . .MEN. . .SHOWED UP AT YOUR DOOR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WITH A CASE OF STOLEN FILET MIGNON AND A BOTTLE OF WHITE WINE, WOULD YOU. . .RAT HIM OUT TO THE STORE FROM WHERE THE MEAT WAS STOLEN BY A DISGRUNTLED, ESMASCULATED BUTCHER WITH A FERVID “CHICKEN LITTLE” COMPLEX? FIRE UP THE GRILL, AND COOK THE FILETS BUT TELL HIM THAT AS PUNISHMENT FOR STEALING, HE’LL HAVE TO LAY OFF THE STEROIDS FOR A FULL SIX MONTHS? TAKE THE FILETS BUT KNOCK HIM IN THE HEAD FOR PAIRING WHITE WINE WITH RED MEAT? I generally don’t like my meat bought out of the back of a trunk, I don’t drink wine (yeah, wouldn’t you like to know the story behind that? I’ll never tell! You’ll never care) and I don’t eat where I objectify so I’d probably knock him in the head then snatch the filets, strip off the bacon and sell the rest for parts.

GalaxyMafia. . .can currently be found salivating over a tasty burger, and she would also like to take this moment to send a fond farewell to her co-worker Tom. . .oh, Tom, what can galaxyMafia say? She hardly knew ye. . .thanks for helping with them nasty frog calendars!!