TASTY MONDAY. . .Or, cut your laptop off and get ready for the power surge baby!! Oy hey!







NAME(S): Benjamin (or, if you like yer Jewish names historically accurate, Binyamin) Netanyhu

AGE(S): 60-something or other

HEIGHT(S): Probably over six foot four. . .but, being a rich and powerful Jewish leader means you don’t have to be tall, okaaaay?

WEIGHT(S): Trim and kosher!!

WHY SUSHI SHOULD BE EATEN OFF THEM: Because he used to be Prime Minister of Isreal and right now, he’s gearing up to kick Ariel Sharon’s azz to the kiz-urb!!! He’s gotta little bit of Joshua in him, don’t he though?

ON WHAT PART OF THE BODY SHOULD YOU EAT THE SUSHI OFF HIM: His yarmulke.

WHERE SHOULD YOU BE WHEN YOU EAT THE SUSHI OFF HIM: As far away from the Middle East as possible. Nothing spoils the taste of fish like the threat of a pipe bomb explosion.

WHEN SHOULD YOU EAT SUSHI OFF HIM: See all them Jewish holidays on your calendar? Well, just don’t pick one of those days. . .

PROPENSITY FOR VIOLENCE: His people have been fighting since the Red Sea was parted. Now, what the fudge do you think?

STALKER QUOTIENT: -7.8809, or would that be the margin of error in the next election for Israel’s new PM. . .?

SHOULD/COULD/WOULD YOU QUIT YOUR JOB FOR HIM: Pack my bags I’m going to Israel! There’s a reason why Jews are called the chosen folks, ya know? (Translation – you ever seen any broke Jewish doctors. . .?)

IS HE WORTH FIGHTING IN IRAQ OVER OIL ON BEHALF OF DUBYA, SLICK DICK CHENEY AND THE REST OF THEM CRONIES FOR? Um. . .can you rephrase the question? Or, did you mean to just ask me if I’m a fudging idiot sap-wuss fool. . .?

IF HE SHOWED UP AT YOUR DOOR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WITH A PLAN TO OVERTHROW THE PALESTANIAN GOVERNMENT BY DIGGING UP ARAFAT’S COLD, DIESEASED DEAD BODY AND BRINGING IT BACK TO LIFE WITH THE HEART OF HITLER, WHICH HAS BEEN PERSERVED IN PICKLE JUICE BY THE GERMAN GOVERNMENT FOR JUST SUCH AN OCCASION, WOULD YOU. . .RAT HIM OUT TO THAT CIA COVERT BLACK OPS OPERATION DOWN THE STREET? AGREE TO HELP BUT SECRETLY CONTACT THE CURRENT PALESTANIAN REGIME IN POWER SO THEY CAN START BRAINWASHING MORE KIDS TO DO SUICIDE BOMBING MISSIONS? SLAM THE DOOR IN HIS FACE BECAUSE AFTER ALL, YOU’RE AN UNCONCERNED AMERICAN, WHAT DO YOU CARE ABOUT THEM MIDDLE EASTERN YAHOOS ANYWAY? TELL HIM, POLITELY BUT FIRMLY, THAT YOU DON’T DO DEAD BODIES. AIN’T NO NECROPHILIA UP IN THIS CAMP? OR PRETEND HE GOT THE WRONG APARTMENT?
He’s a good-looking old Jewish cuss but, unless you want to be the star in an international event that will end in you as the scapegoat, taking the fall for the destruction of several nations, charged with high treason and hunted by cyborg Navy-SEALs, I’d say make your sammich with plain white bread and save the Jewish rye for later!

GalaxyMafia. . .wants peace in the Middle East. . .and for “Inspector Gadget” to come back on TV. Follow him, Brain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!