Welcome Dear Readers to another edition of SNV, the last one for 2006! I’ve been more than a little lazy of late so I was thrilled when galaxymafia suggested the theme for this week’s entry – the “Heizman” dance craze! We are determined to master this new dance if it’s the last thing we do Dear Readers. Actually, seeing as how I’ve yet to master the Harlem Shuffle or the Electric Slide the outlook on me learning this dance doesn’t look hopeful. But wait! I can do the Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It, the Southside and Lil’ John’s Snap Yo Fingers so I’m gonna keep hope alive ya’ll. In the meantime, enjoy these clips of the new dance sensation that’s sweeping the nation! WOOT! WOOT! and do dat Heizman on dat Ho!

The Original and still champion!


The girls can do it too ya’ll!


As Luke would say…Gi…gi…gi…git it guuuuurl!


Detroit in da “Heizman” house!


Damn. White boys do fuck up everything yo! They couldn’t catch the beat with a net and a bear trap but it’s funny…


Damn but they are worse than the white boys…and I didn’t think ANYONE could be worse than those white boys! DAMN!


As I’ve written so many times before, I love my Dear Readers so stay safe, don’t drink and drive and have a very happy New Year! - GD

Another day…another post about my obsession with NZ Rugby…

So where to begin Dear Readers? Twas not so long ago that the apple of Ms. GD’s eye was (the still very awesome) Wentworth Miller but now with DSL and rugby games on demand, Ms. GD has broadened her Hot Ass Man horizons to include Pacific Islanders, Maori and the occasional New Zealander of European decent.

Good googly-goo but these men are the hotness ya’ll! But, I hear you chirp, just how hot are they Ms. GD? Well my Dear Inquisitive Readers, they are so very hot that four of them are currently on the top ranked national team (the All Blacks) in the world, seven of them are on the second ranked (but #1 in our hearts) team in New Zealand, three of them are on the top ranked team in NZ and they all reign supreme…all alone…at the top of the world rugby ladder and they manage to do it while being, as Mama Diva said when she say them, “Gooooooood lookin’!”

So how does one rate or even manage all this hotness? And more to the point, how does one Ms. GD express that measurement in a way her Dear Readers will comprehend? There are only three ways I can think of…organizational charts and pictures with comparisons to figures from classical Greek mythos! What? You got another way?



Canterbury Crusaders/Canterbury:
Mose Tuiali’i/Morpheus – God of Dreams
Just one look at Mose and you can see why he would embody the spirit of the god of dreams – he’s soooooo dreamy! Aaaaaargh! I swear, when I first say this photo I almost fell out of my chair! With that steely gaze and that shimmering, wet body…OH LAWD! And add to that the fact that he’s a God fearing, church going man and that just makes him all the more superb. Is that even possible? But, Ladies and Gentlemen, before you purchase those airline tickets you should know that he’s married. I know…sad huh?

Auckland Blues/Auckland:
Doug Howlett /Poseidon – God of the sea, horses and earthquakes
Well I certainly felt the earth move the first time I saw Dougie! Not to mention a fair bit of moisture down south! Wait…I guess we shouldn’t mention that? And even though I’m afraid of horses (Ms. GD thinks anything that isn’t a dog or a cat is a wild animal) I’d certainly set astride one if Mr. Hot-lett were giving me a boost! Oooooooo…his hands on my ass…*cough*…sorry. Doug’s beautiful brown/hazel eyes, ebony locks, and square jawed loveliness have been a regular feature in my fantasies and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. What I wouldn’t give to be submerged in a warm, blue green sea with him. Sigh!

Waikato Chiefs/Waikato:
Sione Lauaki/Atlas – Condemned by Zeus to stand at the western edge of the earth and shoulder the weight of the heavens
Technically Atlas isn’t a god but a Titan. However, comparing Mr. Lauaki to the doomed Titan is strangely fitting. His formidable appearance and great strength on the pitch is legendary. Unfortunately, Dear Sione hasn’t yet mastered the skill of keeping his aggression on the field. In short, he’s got an anger management problem and is quick with the fisticuffs! I ain’t mad at him though. I just think he’s misunderstood and maybe a little lonely. I’d love to cuddle him to my ample bosom, rock him back and forth and tell him it’s gonna be alright. And while I’m rocking him I’ll run my fingers (and toes) through that gorgeous mop of fat, silky curls and place a juicy kiss on those lips and…oh well you get the picture. Right?

Richard Kahui/Ares – God of savage war, or bloodlust
So young…so innocent…my Aunt Fanny! Young Mr. Kahui may look like he just got his braces off and his first big boy haircut but this man is a true warrior on the pitch! He showed his ass on the field this year (Only figuratively speaking of course…DAMNIT!) and had all the sports pundits salivating all over themselves and shorting out their computers! I was salivating too but not because he was the top scorer in the Air New Zealand Cup. No Ms. GD was drooling like a hungry cheetah because this youngin’ is FINE! Richard gotz a nice little ass on him fo reals yo!

Mils Muliaina/Apollo – God of medicine and healing, light, truth, archery and also a bringer of death-dealing plague
Well I know I felt the healing powers of Malili the first time I saw him! Praise be ya’ll! Let’s just get right to the point Dear Readers, I love this man’s body! Yes he’s a bit on the lean side but my goodness is he not perfectly defined and toned without an ounce of extra fat on him! And those legs! Ow! His voice is wonderful too. It’s not too booming but not too high either and when I hear it I just want to curl up in his lap like a cat! Unfortunately he’s hopelessly devoted to his girlfriend of many years which means I’ll never…ever get a chance to get anywhere near his lap!

Wellington Lions/Hurricanes:
Tana Umaga/Zeus – King of the gods, ruler of Mount Olympus, and god of the sky and thunder
Oh Tana, if only I’d been born in New Zealand you’d be married to me and not…well, the woman you are currently married to! What can I say about one of the greatest players of modern rugby that hasn’t already been said? Oh yeah – He’s The Hotness Ya’ll! He’s not what some would call traditionally handsome but there’s just something about Mr. Umaga, a sort of animal magnetism if you will. It’s that sort of raw, aggressive, sexual power that makes you want to scream and cry and hyperventilate before passing out on the floor! Okay well maybe I’m the only one that feels this way but that doesn’t negate his royal hotness!

Ma’a Nonu/Eros – God of lust, love, and sex and also worshipped as a fertility deity
Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Good Lord but he is beautiful! It just makes no sense for someone to be that beautiful! It makes no sense for a man to be that beautiful! And if his awesome beauty wasn’t enough he has a body like a brick shit house! Good Lord! Oh that smile! That smile like the molten surface of the sun! Dear Readers I could never meet him. Either I’d act like the village idiot and mumble incoherently whilst drooling all over his shoes or I’d molest him. Yes. It’s as simple as that.

Lome Fa’atau/Dionysus – God of wine; both it’s intoxicating power and its social and beneficial influences, promoter of civilization, a lawgiver, and lover of peace as well as the patron deity of agriculture and the theater
He’s everything a zaftig and cute as a button Texas girl could want – devout Catholic, proud Samoan/New Zealander, tall and fine like a mutha, world class winger (only a Fijian could catch him), top try scorer for the 2006 Super 14, and the most handsome man I have ever seen in my whole...entire...LIFE! I’m talking movie star/model good looks ya’ll! Sigh. Marry me baby. Please? I’ll be a wonderful wife and mother to you and our three beautiful children! I promise baby!!! Damn…did I type that out loud?

Neemia Tialata/Pan – God of shepherds and their flocks, known for his music, capable of arousing inspiration, sexuality, or panic, depending on his intentions
What’s not to like about a man that loves a damn dog like this? And did I mention he plays the guitar? And that he’s fiercely devoted to his family? He also knows his way around a bottle of hair gel (Check out that faux hawk!) And did I mention his perfectly edged up sideburns? Oh yes and as galaxyMafia would be quick to point out, he’s the linchpin of the Wellington/All Blacks scrum? And let us not forget the most important thing of all – those magnificent thighs of Adamantium! Egads and Ooooooowwww baby! You can “wrastle” with me anytime Mr. Tialata!

Shannon Paku/Hermes – God of boundaries and of the travelers who cross them, of shepherds and cowherds, of orators and wit, of literature and poets, of athletics, of weights and measures and invention and commerce in general, and of the cunning of thieves and liars
Mr. Paku needs to work on those errant cowlicks and stop parting his hair straight down the middle like Alfalfa but we’ll forgive him these minor flaws because, 1. He’s married now and that shit is his new wife’s problem and 2. All we care about are those long, luscious, luxurious legs of his and the way he likes to tease us by wearing those shawt rugby shawts. Good Lawd!


Tamati Ellison/Zephyrus – The west wind and bringer of light spring and early summer breezes
He’s much too young but I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t enjoy turning him out! I don’t think he’s completely inexperienced (They start early in New Zealand plus he’s a professional athlete!) but I doubt he’s had the full benefit of many kindly, mature women in his life…if ya know what I’m saying Dear Readers. But then again, he might be able to show me a thing or three in which case I better take my vitamins and remember to stretch before we get started. What the young ones lack in control they more than make up for in stamina. Tally-Ho!

Jerry Collins/Hades – God of the Dead
Jerry Collins. Jerry Collins. Oooooo weeeee Jerry Collins! Everything I have to say about him has already been said here . Mmmmm…mmmm…Jerry Collins!




Hot Ass 2006 Super 14 Advert featuring Ma’a Nonu, Sione Lauaki and many sexy others!


This is my last official rugby post of the year so I hope you enjoyed it Dear Readers. I’m taking a short break from all this rugby foolishness until Super 14 starts in February. Now this doesn’t mean that if something (or someone) juicy pops up that I won’t blog about it. It just means I’m going to try and focus on something else besides Hot Ass Rugby Players. Pray for a sister ya’ll. – GD


Most pics found here

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Sigh. And I came home to this shit...

Poor, naïve, lonely, boring as fuck “Gary” got scammed by some Nigerians (Most likely men masquerading as women). Read on Dear Readers:

Ladies:

OK. To those who replied to our last e-mail, thank you. We must explain further what's going on with Gary. In the past year-and-a-half, we have received numerous suspicious deliveries from USPS, UPS, FedEx, and DHL with Gary's name and our address and those deliveries contained money orders and/or checks totaling [sic] tens of thousands of dollars and all those checks and money orders turned out to be either counterfeit and/or drawn from stolen or fraudulent accounts. Unfortunately, Gary cashed a couple of the phony money orders and sent the money to people in foreign countries and we had to take money from some of our investments and Gary had to sell his home computers and some of his electronic equipment to repay the bank for the fraudulent transactions and we had to include Gary's father's name in his bank account to make sure no more suspicious money orders or checks can been cashed and to prevent Gary from withdrawing money from the account without our knowledge.

We also received numerous packages from different merchants this past summer (containing electronics, mobile phones and/or computer-related equipment) delivered by the above couriers which were ordered with Gary's name and our address information and paid for with stolen or fraudulent credit card accounts. The police contacted us telling us about the above occurrences and we then refused the deliveries when the items were delivered. We had several confrontations with Gary concerning these occurrences and Gary said that people he contacted through the internet and met through Yahoo Personals had probably done the above actions.

We discontinued our internet service at home which is why he could only chat online at his workplace, go on the internet at his workplace or at a public library, and he had to get a new e-mail address. The ID's/screennames/e-mail addresses RichardsGary@aol.com, Gary3rd2004@yahoo.com, and the Yahoo Messenger ID's _____-______ -______, '_______-_______-_______', and 'yp_Gary_catilina' are all now available to police departments and law-enforcement agencies around the world in an attempt to track down and punish the perpetrators of the above actions.

Gary's former internet contacts ______ ______ (________2@yahoo.com), ______ ______ (Gary4_Ojugbele@yahoo.com), and _____ ______(Ojugbele_____@yahoo.com) have offered to help us out by contacting some police contacts who specialize in internet scams and have connections with U.S. and international law-enforcement agencies to help us track down and punish the people responsible for perpetrating the above criminal activities.



In fact, as of today, Gary's e-mail address/ID Gary_Richards3_2010@yahoo.com will also be made available to U.S. and international law-enforcement agencies and police departments since some of Gary's contacts through this e-mail address have been involved in similar activites[sic].

A couple of you have commented that our actions were 'immature' and 'a violation of your privacy'. However, since Gary lives in our home and is partly dependent on us financially (since he has a low-paying job) and we have had much suspicious activity going on here in the past year-and-a-half and Gary hasn't been cooperative when we confronted him concerning the above suspicious activities, we had to open all of Gary's mail at home, check his phone messages, and check his e-mails when we visit the local public library (remember that we discontinued our internet service at home). Some of our other family members (and their spouses) had to check his instant messages on Yahoo and AOL/AIM instant messengers using their computers and using ALL of the above ID's/screennames (they have changed all the passwords and security questions to make sure Gary no longer has access to any of the above ID's/screennames/e-mail addresses).

Again, thank you to everyone who responded to our last e-mail and we hope you all understand why we took the actions we did. If any of you have any questions or knowledge concerning these matters, please feel free to e-mail us at the e-mail addresses below and/or write us at the address below. Have a nice day.

Respectfully,
Gary Q. Richards, Jr. and Elaine B. Richards, Parents of Gary Richards III
10 Victoria Drive, Catalina, Maryland 10000 United States of America

And then we have:

Greetings,

Once again you both, Gary's parents, are clueless in regards to respecting others privacy.I have low tolerance , extremely low tolerance for immature actions such as these. Gary , if I am not mistaking, is an adult male over the age of 18, If you are are seeking to humiliate Gary by telling ALL of us his business the only humiliation administered would be to yourselves. When I get married & have children I pray that they do not end up like Gary nor do I end up like you all. Yes, I am highly irritated because you both,as his meddling , enabling parents, do not know how to leave well enough alone. When Gary PM's me I ignore him.. simple. Any male in his 40's living at home with their parents is not one I would care to get to know on any level. You all assume you are doing this as a favor and in some way helping Gary but really you are showing why he is as pathetic as he is. He was raised by two pathetic individuals! If you take offense to my tone , I do not care b/c I asked not be contacted any further. I have NEVER sent Gary anything nor will I. Gary has called a few times almost a year ago but I did not talk to him.

I am going to ask you one last time not to contact me in regards to these childish , pathetic events. I do not care what happens in this situation. You may want to ask God to guide you all in making the best choices. As parents , You need to ask yourselves why are you allowing a grown male to live in your home unless he taking care of one or both of you. I can not understand why anyone would just accept "free" money through the mail.HELLO ... Get a clue! Free Items ... are people really this guillable[sic]? Someone was NOT using the common sense that God gave them. In my humble opinion , I think it is time that you do implore logic AND common sense. If I am contacted again , I will report all of you to Yahoo for harrasment[sic]. I will be PMing Gary to let him know Do NOT EVER contact me again!!! Have a blessed New Year.

Extremely Annoyed,
J. Danielle

P.S. Disconnecting the internet was a step in the right direction but why not change the locks in the process if he is abusing your home? Just a thought ;-)

Well she told them didn’t she?!?!? LOL I know I really should block all these ig’nant people from my email but I can’t help wondering what new foolishness they’ll come up with next? I’ll keep you posted Dear Readers! – GD


Cute drawing found here

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Hello and Seasons Greetings Dear Readers! Ms. GD is currently still in Cali but she took time out of her busy schedule of hobknobbing with celebrities...and giggling like a school girl as strapping young lads massage her weary shoulders and drink champagne from her slippers...to drop her very Dear Readers a fresh Yuletide note. I’ll be back in H-Town Tuesday (So don’t you pout and don’t you fret), ready to tell you all about my fabulous winter vacation. Until then, have a very Merry Christmas and easy on the eggnog…or at least the nog….Smooches!

Ain’t this some shit?

A couple of days ago I got this very odd email:

Hello Ladies,

Let us introduce ourselves. We are Gary Richards Jr. and Elaine Richards, parents of Gary Richards III whom you have had a long correspondence with by e-mails and instant messages.

We are happy that Gary seeking some new friends through the internet...However, at this time, Gary is low on money and, because of this reason and because of the upcoming Holiday season, he will be unable to send any money at this time (in case you need money sent). If you want to talk to us about your relationship with Gary and/or your future plans, please do not hesitate to call us at (009)(1)(301)555-5555 and we'll be willing to get to know one another much better.

We hope to hear from you very soon.

Sincerely,
Gary Richards Jr. and Elaine Richards

At first I didn’t really understand what the hell this email was about (Sometimes I can be very slow on the uptake) but then it hit me; “Gary” is a guy I used to chat with months ago, before I started back working full time. It was never that deep of a relationship. Especially not deep enough for him to be giving me money! For the record, Ms. GD does not take money (Or rent, clothes, jewelry, durable goods, etc.) from men! The last man she took money from was her father and the only other man she will ever take money from in the future will be her husband! Anyway, I decided to just ignore this shit as I wasn’t speaking to the dude anymore (He’s boring as fuck and can only chat online between the hours of 4:30am and 6:30am) and that it simply did not apply to me. But then I got this email:

Greetings,

I am responding to this e-mail because I am trying to understand the purpose of it. Though you state why you sent this e-mail, I wonder was it necessary. In the future please do not send me e-mails of this nature. I barely speak with Gary now and after this e-mail I doubt it will ever increase. I think sending an e-mail of this nature is immature as well as a violation of our(all these ladies) privacy. I pray that you and yours have a wonderful holiday season!

Sincerely[sic],
June Danielle

When I read the previous I thought, this is some messed up, ghetto shit and why have I inadvertently been hemmed up in it? I decided I’d better email Gary and let him know what the fuck time it is but before I could do so I got the following email:

Dear Glamour Diva,

I learned late yesterday that my parents sent you an e-mail. I don't know how they got your e-mail address (they may have checked my old e-mail addresses and I thought I removed you from my old address book but apparently haven't) but I was very displeased (to say the least!) when they did this. This is an invasion of your privacy as well as mine and I'll try to find out how the heck they got your e-mail address.

Anyway, I wish you Happy Holidays and Seasons Greetings!!!

Truly,
Gary

Okay so all beef has been officially squashed but it has left a bad taste in my mouth so I am deleting “Gary” from my email and Yahoo! Messenger contact lists. I honestly do not need this sort of drama in my life yo!


And you wonder why I’m chomping at the bit to get the hell out of Houston? JEEEEEESH! – GD

The Sushi Girls have a new “Sister In Arms” and her name is Natalina or as we like to call her – Natalina The Naughty Nederlander! [That’s right Ms. Natalina, you’ve been new baptized…]

Ms. Natalina was so very sweet to send us a note blowing up our already bulbous heads with praise for our blog. As much as we love dissenting points of view (and nasty anonymous comments), we just can’t express how wonderful it is to receive such glowing remarks at this special time of year. Please let us all join hands as we lift our voices in an inspiring gospel rendition of Bump ‘N’ Grind by R. Kelly! No? Well in lieu of R. Kelly please read Natalina The Naughty Nederlander’s lovely email:

From: Natalina
To: the_sushi_diaries@yahoo.com
Subject: Sex and the Sushi
Date: Sun, 17 Dec 2006 19:56:26 +0000

Hi galaxyMafia, Glamour Diva and Miss Sakamoto

While I was searching the Internet for some fresh information about Sione Lauaki, I stumbled upon your blog Sex and the Sushi. Usually I don't bother to give any feedback about a site or blog but yours is absolutely fantastic.

I have to congratulate you on your superb taste in ridiculously HOT (Rugby) men, the witty humour and especially All Blacks- The Musical. The latter had me rolling on the floor especially the dialogue between Ma'a Nonu, Jerry Collins and Mose Tuiali'i ("Nigga, ain’t you gotta go pray for somebody?" priceless...).

Thank you Ladies for making me laugh until I cried and for taking my mind off things. I wish you ladies all the best and I can’t wait for another episode of All Blacks -The Musical.

Greetings from a Dutch fan.

By the way here’s a little token of my appreciation a picture of a shirtless Ma’a Nonu (before the tattoos unfortunately) and another rugby player called Ben Atiga .



Aaaaaaaaw! Wasn’t that special ya’ll? Nederlanders are COOL! – The Sushi Girls

Hello Dear Readers and welcome to yet another edition of SNV! Tonight I’d like to do something a little different…well just a smidge. I still have a great collection of Hot Ass Men (And two VERY hot Women) to share with you but this time we’re visiting the world of British R&B! Below are some of my favorite artists, old and new. So Pip Pip, Cheerio and WOOT! WOOT! ya’ll!

Amy Winehouse – Rehab


Lewis Taylor – Stoned Part 1


Terri Walker – Whoopsie Daisy


Terri Walker Featuring Mos Def – Guess You Didn't Love Me


Lemar – It's Not That Easy


And my favorite British crooner, well one of my favs period:

Omar – Your Mess


Omar – Something Real


Five more days until Christmas in California! YAY!!!!! – GD

Site Meter is a wonderful thing Dear Readers. Ms. GD was checking it yesterday (Like she does everyday) and discovered the following information about our latest angry poster. We haven’t pissed anyone off this badly since The Great Wentworth Miller Debacle of 2006!

Anonymous of Clevedon, New Zealand , which is approximately 7,394 miles from Houston, Texas with a latitude and longitude of -37,175.05, spent 15 minutes and 31 seconds of his/her precious time on our blog reading about the girlfriend of one Malili “Mils” Muliaina on his/her PC with a Microsoft WinXP Operating System and Internet Explorer 6.0. Anonymous reached our blog by searching Google.co.nz with the words “hayley muliaina” and [Applause Please] found us the sixth entry down!

anonymous said...
get a life - away from a computer! then you might have something to talk about that you know about! The people you slag off in your rubbish you know nothing about and who died and made you the judgement king! think before you act! thank god for karma! wish i was there to see it come back and bite you! 

Those who hide behind a screen usually have something they dont want the world to see!!!

Our Response...
First of all, learn how to spell (Or get spellchecker) and work on your grammar/usage before you set out to arbitrarily flame someone’s blog. Secondly, Ms. Armstrong’s conviction is a matter of public record so it’s not like we’re pulling random shit out of our collective asses! And thirdly, aren’t you the one judging us? How do you know we don’t have a life? Had you bothered to read more than just the Muliaina related parts of our blog you would have noticed that:

1. We routinely blog about our lives; the good, the bad and the boring as hell!

2. As stated in our Manifesta , we reserve the right (‘Cause we live in America) to tweak the egos of public figures as well as private citizens (And last time we checked, Malili, by virtue of his being a famous athlete, is a public figure and doomed to "suffer the slings and arrows of [his] outrageous fortune”)

Aren’t you being a little hypocritical Dear Anonymous? We find it very ironic that you would “hide” behind the anonymous tag to call us out on the carpet. Why not use your real name if you feel so strongly about our horrible mistreatment of poor, troubled Hayley and her stalwart swain Mils? And why do you care that we care? And weren’t you looking for information about Ms. Armstrong on Google? Doesn’t that make you as pathetic as you think we are? Seriously Mr./Ms. Anonymous, we don’t get why you’re so upset. Are you related to the couple in some way? Close family friends? ARE YOU MILS OR HAYLEY? [If you are Mils Ms. GD says “Call me baby!” and galaxyMafia says, “Tell Sione Lauaki to call me!”]

Listen, if Mils wants to live out the rest of his life with a convicted criminal with psychological problems then all we can say is a heartfelt – If he like it, we love it! Actually, we think it’s quite honorable that he’s standing by the woman he loves! Most people would have been out the damn door a long time ago so Big Ups Malili! But since we’re self-centered heifers we could really give a good gotdamn about his relationship! We admit that we don’t know a damn thing about Mils. He could be the sweetest guy in the world or the world’s biggest bastard. In fact, he could be the one that drove her crazy and into a life of crime! In which case we would advise Hayley to kick his ass to the curb, down the street, into Waikato Stadium, down the pitch and over the tryline! We’ll even kick for the conversion!

But we digress Anonymous. Our point in this very long and rambling response is that we aren’t out to hurt anyone’s feelings or even to breakup any relationships [But if we were the type of girls that broke up relationships it wouldn’t be Mayley or Hils (Or Halili)…that’s for damn sure!]. As we wrote way back in March of 2005 the major purpose of this blog is to objectify men. To call folk out their names is a very, very distant, albeit highly satisfactory and entertaining, second. We think Mils is hot and fine and so we will continue to ogle him in his rugby shorts and bemoan the fact that the only thing that stands between him and us (other than airfare to NZ) is Hayley. You can’t deny us our fantasy Anonymous, even in the name of faux sweetness and Political Correctness! So relax, relate, and release lovely Anonymous and do visit our blog often. Tell all your friends!

And for the record, if someone did die and make us Judgment Royalty we would be Queens, not kings baby!

Smooches and thanks again for your shitty little anonymous comment,
Glamour Diva – galaxyMafia – Miss Sakamoto

P.S. We also believe in Karma but we use the very Texas and “picturesque” phrase, Cosmic Ass Whippin' to describe the Dharmic philosophy of cause and effect.

A family friend sent me an email with this list attached. I don’t agree with some of these (Wayne Brady cooning? Whatever! Diana Ross and her DUI? Having a substance abuse problem isn’t exclusive to black folk and neither is illiteracy so stop picking on Fantasia!) but many (But not all) of them are right on the money! What do you think of this list? Do you agree or disagree? Do you have any people you’d like to add to this list? Holla!

The Top 50 Black Americans Who Have Embarrassed The United States:

1. Flavor Flav and all the women that have ever appeared on the Flavor of Love (especially New York) - no explanation needed

2. Clarence Thomas - for having the audacity to desecrate the seat that was held by the late great Thurgood Marshall

3. Condoleeza Rice - self explanatory (but the fact that she was shopping for Ferragamo's when people were dying due to Hurricane Katrina was enough by itself to get her placed on the list.

4. Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown - too many reasons to count

5. Halle Berry in Monster's Ball - Billy Bob Thornton (need I say more)

6. DC snipers - Black people are not serial killers

7. Marion Berry - too embarrassing for words

8. Kobe Bryant - for snitching on Shaq (it's one thing to be a rapist, but to be a snitch on top of that is just taking it too far)

9. Rae Carruth - for having the audacity to hide his black ass in the trunk of a car in Nashville after having his baby mother killed

10. Terrell Owens - speechless

11. Mike Tyson - biting Evander's ear was enough to get him on the list

12. OJ Simpson - the Bronco ride by itself was enough to make the list

13. R. Kelly - pissing on little girls and having the audacity to record it

14. Puffy - cooning and shining and denying he's gay (DANG!) (and we not even going to mention the fact that he keeps stringing Kim Porter along, but his butt was crying over J.Lo)

15. The sister that cut the baby out of the pregnant woman and killed her other children by placing them in the washing machine and dryer

16. The entire Jackson family - Jermaine please let those fingerwaves go. Let's just take a moment of silence for Michael.

17. Armstrong Williams - for being on the GOP's payroll to praise No Child Left Behind when all it is doing is leaving children behind

18. Rodney King - "Can't we all just get along? "

19. 50 Cent - thinking he has enough clout to hate on Oprah. And for just being a punk and crying when someone talks to someone he doesn't like.

20. Wendy Williams - for always looking a Hot Ass Mess, and having the nerve to talk about other people

21. Dennis Rodman - too many reasons

22. Ice-T - for marrying a plastic Malibu Barbie named CoCo and swearing his old ass is a pimp

23. Diana Ross - for getting a DUI

24. The entire cast of Soul Plane - self-explanatory

25. James Brown - beating his wife and that infamous mug shot

26. Jesse Jackson - for the love child

27. Bishop Don "Magic " Juan - for portraying every stereotype that white people believe to be true about black people

28. Snoop Dog - for having those sisters on leashes at the MTV Music Awards and introducing the world to Bishop Don "Magic " Juan (and let's not even mention Girls Gone Wild)

29. Bob Johnson - for selling BET to the Man

30. The entire BET station and staff members - for giving us Un-Cut and for taking away BET news

31. Cuba Gooding Jr. - cooning and shining at the Oscars

32. Nelly - for the Tip Drill video

33. The Ms. Peachez videos – cooning and shining at its finest

34. Terry McMillan - for going on the Oprah Show acting like she didn't know her husband was gay before she married him and then being in the hot tub with him after she talked about him so bad

35. Al Sharpton - for rocking a perm in the '06 and having the audacity to run for President while looking like a pimp

36. Black people that say that Biggie and Pac were assassinated. Martin and Malcolm were assassinated those two brothers were shot. (Chris Rock from Bigger and Blacker)

37. Tina Knowles - for giving us House of Dereon

38. Lil Kim - for being the black Pamela Anderson

39. Karrine "Superhead " Steffans - for being the Black Monica Lewinsky

40. Omarosa - she gave intelligent Black sisters a bad name

42. All the Black wannabe models on America 's Next Top Model that come on the show with a straight up attitude

43. Coral from the Real World/ Road Rules challenge always having to come on the shows portraying the angry Black woman

44. Vivica A. Fox for dating 50 Cent and then wearing the daisy dukes during Lil Jon's performance

45. Ron Isley for tax evasion and stealing from his decease brother's estate

46. Wesley Snipes - for To Wong Fu and then denying that he was the one
that made Halle Berry deaf in her left ear

47. Wayne Brady for acting like a bafoon in front of white folks on Who's Line Is It Anyway.

48. Johnny Gill for perpetrating he's a Mac Daddy when all along he's flaming.

49. Jermaine Dupree for getting upset and quitting the record company after Janet Jackson's sorry album flopped (big surprise)

50. Fantasia for telling the WHOLE world she can't read. There's some stuff you need to keep to yourself.

Like I wrote previously, this is silly and I disagree with most of them. Drug addiction, illiteracy, alcoholism and violence against women (and people in general) are not exclusive to white folk. Our community is suffering not because of white people and their influence on us but because of our continued need to sweep all our issues under the rug. Who ever penned this list needs a reality check right fast and in a hurry! Also, add a slap across the face with a fish for good measure!

Nine more days to Christmas in Cali! – GD

Aaarrgh! Ms. GD is such a lazy, lazy Diva these days! But I managed to get it together long enough to scoop up a handful of Hot Ass Men for your enjoyment! So grab your WOOT! tickets, put on your hat and coat (‘cause it’s chilly outside) and hurry your ass on out to the train station. You don’t want to miss your ride on the Hot Ass Men Express do you? Yes…that’s what I thought…

Sexy Dex (The dread locked man in black) and his Triple Cross movie trailer


Watch it or you’ll put someone’s eye out with that honey!


Cute guy getting a tattoo…Hubba, Hubba!


This video is just one more thing to add to my “This would never happen to me in a million years!” file. Damn it all to hell!


The “Brown Brothers” in Australia don’t have enough shit to keep them busy. How fortunate for us! Brisbane Krump – Regulators Parody


And for the ladies who likey the bodybuilders, this brother’s body is off the chain!


Just 10 more bloody days until my happy ass raises the hell up out of Texas. California here I come! – GD

I prefer to think of myself as a realist but…

You Are 40% Cynical

Generally you give people the benefit of the doubt. But there are exceptions. You buy into many of the things that mainstream society believes, but you're not anybody's fool.

Body Talk [Get ya mind out the gutter Dex!]

You Communicate With Your Body

This isn't as bad as it sounds, it just means that you're a "touchy-feely" person. You need a lot of affection in your life. And for you, this means both giving and receiving little touches. Warm hearted, you bond with people easily. In fact, you often feel a little sad when you're not in the company of others. A little moody, you tend to be controlled by your emotions. But a big hug always comforts you!

It’s official, I’m Bi!

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

So what you’re saying is that I’m a Social Capitalist?

You Are 16% Capitalist, 84% Socialist

You see a lot of injustice in the world, and you'd like to see it fixed. As far as you're concerned, all the wrong people have the power. You're strongly in favor of the redistribution of wealth - and more protection for the average person.

Now all that barking and meowing I heard in my parent's bedroom when I was a child makes sense!

You Are: 50% Dog, 50% Cat

You are a nice blend of cat and dog. You're playful but not too needy. And you're friendly but careful. And while you have your moody moments, you're too happy to stay upset for long.

Once upon a time…in a land far, far away…

The Movie Of Your Life Is An Indie Flick

You do things your own way - and it's made for colorful times. Your life hasn't turned out how anyone expected, thank goodness! Your best movie matches: Clerks, Garden State, Napoleon Dynamite

I guess those fifth grade bullies were right…

You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right? But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

Well DUH!

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

I love these little things. They’re a complete waste of time but it’s not like I got anything better to do. That’s rather pathetic actually… – GD

Hello Dear Readers! It’s your girl Ms. GD and she’s back from her extended vacation from SNV with another set of videos featuring Hot Ass Men! This time we’re kickin’ it Pacific Islander and Maori style with a set of the most ghettoest videos not found in the United States! I kid you not Dear Readers! I don’t know how they got so ghetto but they are and I love it! So do the Haka, grab a big warm bowl of taro, cuddle up to your computer screen and enjoy some of the best Hip Hop and R&B Polynesia and all points West and South West (That would be New Zealand and Australia) has to offer. WOOT! WOOT! ya’ll!

This is the favorite group of two of our favorite Hot Ass rugby players, Ma’a Nonu and Lome Fa’atau. You know Ms. GD love the kids and the little ones break dancing in this vid are too cutie patootie! Nesian Mystik – So Good


This vid reminds me of I’m Real by J-Lo and Ja Rule…only more artistic like West Side Story…Savage Featuring Aaradhna – They Don’t Know


GM and I love us some Chong Nee ya’ll! He just a big ole’ Polynesian Teddy Bear ain’t he? Chong Nee – Thin Line


I don’t know who the young woman singing in the video is but she sho nuff got some pipes on her! And the dude playing the “Bad Boyfriend” is hot to death! Chong Nee – Scenarios

UPDATE: The young woman singing her lungs out is named Niki Ahu and you can find out more about her here.

Little homie got a nice flo but the beat is tight, tight, tight! Gone den boy! Frontline – What Was You Thinking


Switches, spinning rims, boomin’ systems, snakeskin Timberlands and video vixens pumpin’ it like their lives depended on it! Looks like Any Ghetto, U.S.A but it ain’t…it’s New Zealand baby! Dei Hamo – We Gon' Ride


This is my favorite joint! The beat is SICK and young Mr. Scribe got a good little flo on him. It will probably be a few years before he’s truly spittin’ hot fire but he’s young yet and I ain’t hatin’ on him. Also…He’s ADORABLE! Scribe – Not Many (Remix)


Oh Dear Readers, all Ms. GD can think about is sunny California. Sigh. Where are you Dec. 21?!?!?!? – GD

I’ve had some interesting conversations on good old Yahoo! Messenger. Not all of them have been insane but the vast majority of them have been and here are two examples of the mass ignorance of Men who use Messenger for hookups. [Remember, all Yahoo! ID’s have been changed to protect Ms. GD’s privacy]

Computer Lust:

Idiot 1 – 12:26 PM
hi there

Me – 2:02 PM
hi. who are you?

Idiot 1 – 2:02 PM
great and you

Me – 2:03 PM
i'm good thanks but i asked "Who" are you.

Idiot 1 – 2:03 PM
sorry, I'm _______________ and I live in League City

Idiot 1 – 2:03 PM
I work in the Medical Center

Me – 2:05 PM
hiya _______________. are you a doc? nurse? other?

Idiot 1 – 2:05 PM
other

Idiot 1 – 2:05 PM
IT Manager

Me – 2:06 PM
ah! a computer geek? lol

Idiot 1 – 2:06 PM
lol

Idiot 1 – 2:06 PM
what do you do?

Me – 2:06 PM
student/clerical

Idiot 1 – 2:06 PM
ok

Idiot 1 – 2:07 PM
are you open to meeting and getting to know each other?

Me – 2:08 PM
depends. are you a serial killer?

Idiot 1 – 2:08 PM
lol, no

Idiot 1 – 2:08 PM
but serial horny

Idiot 1 – 2:08 PM
don't bring your cat

Me – 2:09 PM
oh brother...

Idiot 1 – 2:09 PM
lol, you said it.

Me – 2:13 PM
well i'm not looking for sex but thanks for your interest!

Idiot 1 – 2:13 PM
sorry to bug you

Me – 2:14 PM
you aren’t buggin me. just not looking for random sex.

Idiot 1 – 2:14 PM
lol, cool

Me – 2:18 PM
yes...i am

Me – 2:22 PM
you're handsome! are you dating all those women on your profile?

Idiot 1 – 2:23 PM
no

Idiot 1 – 2:23 PM
none of them. lol

Me – 2:24 PM
aawwww man! and here i was thinking you were a stud!

Idiot 1 – 2:24 PM
lol, not at all

Me – 2:25 PM
maybe that’s why you're so damn horny? lol

Me – 2:29 PM
well Mr. Idiot I wish you luck with your search for some good lovin'. I'm off to take a wee nap. bye-bye!

Idiot 1 – 2:32 PM
sorry, I had to step away

Idiot 1 – 2:32 PM
bye bye

Trolling For Sex On A Cold Sunday Morning:

Idiot 2 – 11:32 AM
hi there...what part of houston you in??

Me – 11:33 AM
___________ area

Idiot 2 – 11:33 AM
okay...i'm on west side..

Me – 11:33 AM
ok

Idiot 2 – 11:34 AM
well..I don't want to get zapped by your bad cat now also..

Me – 11:35 AM
and why would you? unless you're a horny SOB just out lookin for sex?

Idiot 2 – 11:35 AM
LOL.....ahhhh.....well...some of that is true I suppose too...

Me – 11:36 AM
just some? lol try ALL!

Idiot 2 – 11:36 AM
LOL...well...not a SOB for sure....

Me – 11:38 AM
ok so you admit to being horny and only interested in sex? particularly anonymous sex with easy women you find on yahoo?

Idiot 2 – 11:39 AM
not necessary in all of that...but yes...seeking a lady friend for some adult fun times also.....not seeking every and all women too..

Me – 11:39 AM
you're very naughty...LOL and horny

Idiot 2 – 11:40 AM
LOL...well....you might be right too...

Me – 11:41 AM
uh huh...well good luck with all that. there are plenty of women out there who fit the description of what you're looking for.

Idiot 2 – 11:41 AM
ohh there are huh....they must be hiding too...LOL..

Me – 11:42 AM
nope. just waiting for you to ask i'm sure! LOL there are lots of women with low self-esteem just waiting to be rolled in the hay! LMAO

Me – 11:43 AM
i should stop teasing you...LOL

Idiot 2 – 11:43 AM
LOL...wow...you make it sound like such a joyous occasion too...by the way...I'd like more than a 1 time roll in the hay too...

Idiot 2 – 11:44 AM
teasing never hurt anyone...but pleasing is much more enjoyable too..

Me – 11:44 AM
oh for heavens sake!

Idiot 2 – 11:45 AM
what???

Me – 11:46 AM
That last line was kinds cute and lame...in an old school sort of way. well this fat girl is keeping for panties on so once again i wish you luck sweetheart!

Idiot 2 – 11:47 AM
LOL...well...we can always slide the panties to the side as we roll in the hay too...LOL...well...I'm kinda old school since I'm 47...LOL

Me – 11:47 AM
LOL no.

Idiot 2 – 11:47 AM
thanks for your time and wisdom then dear...

Me – 11:48 AM
bye! have a great day love!

Idiot 2 – 11:48 AM
you too.....wish my key unlocked your secret box too...

Me – 11:49 AM
well as the saying goes...if wishes were horses...

Idiot 2 – 11:50 AM
LOL.....guess so....never heard that one though...
I could make noises like a horse if that would help you too...LOL

Me – 11:53 AM
LMAO! That's tempting but no. Would I have to get naked or get naked and fuck you? On second thought never mind. I'll just go back to bed and masturbate and think about the possibilities. safer that way ya know. Bye! Later! Have a great day!

Idiot 2 – 11:54 AM
LOL...well....we both could be naked and masterbate in front of each other then too...LOL....but I'm not hung like a horse now either...hope that doesn't blow away your thoughts now...LOL

Me – 11:55 AM
no but you've given me tons of pre-masturbatory fantasy fodder so I thank you! Once again, BYE!

Idiot 2 – 11:56 AM
LOL...leave you smiling without any sex...what a guy I am...LOL..

Idiot 2 – 11:56 AM
there are those things called condoms too...

Idiot 2 – 12:00 PM
you should tell me more about your lovely self and hot masterbating body too...

Wasn’t that special? Gotta love a horny ass man right? It would help if he were hot, sexy and smart but as my Grandmother Diva used to say, that would be too much like right! – GD

Cute pic found here

0 Comment

I was bored Dear Readers. And when I get bored I get silly. And when I get silly I do shit like the following:

And before you say it, no it doesn’t completely rhyme but you’re welcome to learn the game of rugby, find a song that strikes your fancy; gather together a bunch of rugby terms and use them to write a new song to the tune of another song that has shit all to do with rugby and see how well you do! So without further ado, here is the world premiere of…

Let's Scrum by Glamour Diva, sung to the tune of Let’s Dance by David Bowie [Sorry Mr. Bowie. Love you…call me!]

Let's Scrum
Put on your red boots [cleats] and Bind with me
Let's Scrum
To the sound of cowbells in the distant breeze
Let's Ruck
While your shorts ride up your ass
Let's Ruck
Ruck down the Pitch and over the Tryline

If you say Maul, I'll Maul with you
If you say kick, we'll kick
Your Compression Undergarments too tight
And your hair it looks a fright
No time for a retouch
To Wales we must go
We can…not…miss…that…FREAKIN’ FLIGHT!

Let's Scrum
Your Goosesteps the best of all
Let's Scrum
The Loosehead Prop will fall
Let's Ruck
Baby look into my eyes
Let's Ruck
Under the “Cake Tin”, our beautiful “Cake Tin”

If you say Maul, I'll Maul with you
If you say kick, we'll kick
I don’t know what to do
‘Cause babe I love you true
But you wouldn’t Scrum
With a written invite
So Crouch! Hold! Touch! Now…ENNNNNNGAGE!

Let's Scrum
Put on your red boots and Bind with me
Let's Scrum
To the sound of cowbells in the distant breeze
Let's Ruck
Please look into my eyes
Let's Ruck
Under the “Cake Tin”, this beautiful “Cake Tin”

Sigh…Ms. GD can not WAIT to blow this pop stand and head on out to Cali for Christmas! Sometimes a girl just has to get away! – GD


Scrum pic found here

0 Comment

Thanksgiving is, admittedly, not one of our favorite holidays. We could never, in good conscience, celebrate this day knowing all the hideous torments our Native American ancestors suffered at the hands of the Europeans. That shizz just don’t seem right somehow you know? So do we shut ourselves up in our rooms, curled up in the corner in the fetal position crying our eyes out? Hell no! As we said, our families are too spiritually and emotionally invested in the aftermath of the “First Thanksgiving” to get all hyped about it but we can still appreciate getting the day off from work and eating a lot of good food! So instead of giving thanks for European Guns, Germs and Steel and American manifest destiny , we give thanks to God for securing the ties that have bound our families together for the past two hundred plus years. We give thanks for His bounty and for the fact that He allows us to wake up every morning to continue to sing His praises!

We know we can act a true fool here at Sex and the Sushi but really we are thankful for everything the Lord has given us…including our wicked (and sometimes biting) sense of humor and hot Polynesian rugby players! Just because we’re quick with the snark doesn’t mean we aren’t good little Southern Girls at heart. And as such we would be remiss if we didn’t take time out of our busy schedule of eating, watching football, eating, laughing, eating and eating to testify – Yes, The Sushi Girls Love The Lord! Can we get an Amen?

Peace and Happy Thanksgiving,
galaxyMafia, Glamour Diva, and Miss Sakamoto



Picture found here

2 Comments

Oh how I long for the days before anyone ever heard of Hip Hop. Ok not really...but maybe Screw! I really DO NOT like Screw! But then If you've been reading this blog you already know that. Anyhoo, I loves me some old school shizz! But alas, iTunes ain't as old as me so I couldn't go back as far as I would have liked. Damn you iTunes!

My Old School R&B Favorites

Note: You must have iTunes loaded on your computer before you can listen to the playlists. You don’t have to own a Mac Dear Readers; you only need the iTunes software. Dig it? Enjoy! – GD

"Red Hot Rugby Love"

Starring. . .
All Blacks and Samoans Jerry "JC" Collins and Malili "Mils" Muliaina.

JC is a big, beefy forward who likes to score free food, impress the ladies with his 22-inch guns (biceps) and boast that his knowledge of the Samoan language will enhance his ability to learn French.

Mils is a fiduciary type with a shady financial background thanks to his partner Hayley and a penchant for starting pub brawls in which he ends up with a foot in his ass.

JC is all flash and bravado; and Mils is introspective and self-composed** BUT when these two hot ta death* Samoans get together, they make RED HOT RUGBY LOVE!

*Note: Jerry "JC" Collins is ONLY "hot ta death" from the neck down!!
**Note: That is, when he's not getting beat up, or letting his partner Hayley get him hemmed up in her white collar crime shenanigans

copyright 2006. . .galaxyMafia. . .still thinks Carl Hayman needs to ass up off the tighthead prop position. It should have been Tony Woodcock who got his calf chewed off, not Neemia!!!!!!!

. . .The guy who hit Stephen King in 1999 with a Dodge Minivan. . .

Dude, if you weren’t going to kill the bloke why’d you bother letting the dog distract you? Now, because of your haphazard attention to detail, the world still has to endure the prolific “Master of Horror”.

Because you and that Dodge Minivan of yours could only manage to leave King in a tangled heap on the side of the road with a broken leg and injuries that were, according to hospital officials, “orthopedic in nature”, I have to put up with this necromancer 1) in the back of my Entertainment Weekly magazine with his lame column, spewing tripe (which is one of the main reasons why I didn’t renew), 2) dissing the cell phone with his book, “Cell” about an electromagnetic pulse that turned folks into flesh-eating zombies because he doesn’t like cell phones and 3) going on and on to the point of myopia about LOST, which he thinks is the best damn show on television. King is a strange looking man, ghastly and gruesome, and yet he has a wife and has even spawned with her, and I could go on but, really, what’s the point?

copyright 2006. . .galaxyMafia. . .had to blog about something other than the damn ABs, doncha think?

POLYNESIAN RUGBY PLAYER TAKES HIS SHIRT OFF!!!

As the current obsession with rugby players continues with no apparent end that galaxyMafia can see. . .then again, she do have a lazy, amyopic eye so maybe that's the damn problem, eh? Anyhoo, GM and Glamour Diva have noticed that down under the bottom of the world in Kiwi Land, the New Zealand rugby players, specifically the Polynesian rugby players, don't seem to like going topless. Which, if ya know like I know, is a damn shame 'cause them brown, toasty boys is tha hotness!! Alas, all the pasty white ones (and you know who you are By-ron Kelleher, or however you spell it) don't have a problem taking it all off. Nevertheless, GM is committed to finding pics of the "brown brothers" as close to au naturel as possible.

Hello Dear Readers and welcome to yet another edition of SNV. Tonight I decided to go with a hodgepodge of things, a veritable cornucopia of video gold! We got 70s TV, Rugby (of course!), parodies, old school music videos, and Popin’ and Lockin’ Dwarfs! Sounds like some sort of freak show doesn’t it? Well that’s SATS in a nutshell Dear Readers…a damn freak show. So WOOT! WOOT! ya’ll and enjoy!

The fact that I remember this show at all dates me horrifically but I loved it! That Angie Dickinson was hot to damn death wasn’t she? Yowzer! And the soundtrack Dear Readers? Off the heezy fo sheezy!


Another dope 70s show with another dope sountrack!


Why I Love Rugby starring The Beauteous, Dimpled, Dreadlocked, Ma’a Nonu (#13) and the rest of the Wellington clique…(sigh)


I can’t stand JT but I LOVE this parody! Put a lil’ Serotonin it and enjoy Gray Kid – Paxilback


Damn but this song was the lick back in the day! Sing galaxyMafia, you know the words! Chuck Brown – Bustin' Loose


I freakin’ LOVE this freakin’ clip! Indian cinema is the shizz yo! The name of the movie is Adhisayappiravi starring Rajnikanth, a very famous Tamil actor. The little guy’s name is still a mystery to me. But damn can he dance! Pop and lock on Little Superstar…pop and lock on!


Goodnight all you dapers and toe tappers. And make sure you remember to lift with your legs when you put that hump in your back and lift your rump! – GD

“Hey there brown sugar/chocolate/hot chocolate/sexual chocolate/queen/Nubian Queen/African Queen!” [Has a simple “Hello” been outlawed?]

“I love me some big/fat girls!” [Here’s a clue, if you’re trying to push up on me then it’s a safe bet I already know you like it! Asshole!]

“ This is my baby Traniece and her mama Bernice. This is my baby Lil’ G and his mama Josephina. And these are my babies, Lil’ G the second and Min Sook. Their mama took them back to Korea because…” [Sigh…]

“Can you make your booty clap?” [I don’t know, can you dodge bullets?]

“I’m married/have a girlfriend but my wife/girlfriend doesn’t understand me.” [Yes men still say this shit.]

“Oh yeah see what had happened was…” [Go to your quiet place Ms. GD.]

“So when I finally got outta the joint…the second time…” [Just take me now Jesus!]

“Squeeze ya later baby!” [Insert “Isaac The Bartender” type index finger guns with clicking sound]

Saints preserve me and Lord keep me from the ig’nant men folk of the world! – GD

Ms. GD is bored and still a bit depressed that Malili “Mils” Muliaina has yet to buy a damn clue and is still involved with his “partner”, the odious Hayley ! In the immortal words of B Angie B (And, I think, The Emotions), why do you have to look for love Malili, when there’s so much love here? Sigh. Well, WOOT! WOOT! Dear Readers and enjoy these super hot Ladies of the 80s music videos.

I Wonder If I Take You Home – Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam


Let The Music Play – Shannon


You Look Good To Me – Cherrelle


Symptoms Of True Love – Tracie Spencer


Wow – Kate Bush


Strut – Sheena Easton


Monday is a new day and I will strive to NOT think about how much better my life would be with Mils in it. Damn his hot, rugby playing, Samoan self! And damn me for being so entranced! UGH! – GD