Well, ol' Masoe was up in the bar showin' his ass. . .apparently, he was drunk and wanted another round but the barmaid refused him. . .which she was legally required to do so he wouldn't stumble out to his car, get behind the wheel and end up crashing into a van full of kids on their way to Bible study. . .yes, two a.m. Bible study!

Read this ish fo' yoself!


copyright 2007. . .well, Flo, gM has gotta let you know she feels ya! She's got a few cousins who can't hold they drank (or grog, if you prefer) either! HA HA!

Click here to see and hear our personal greeting to you!

Smooches,
Glamour Diva & galaxyMafia

A few weeks ago I was bored at work and decided to write this. I wanted to sing it with galaxyMafia and put it up on the blog for everyone to laugh at but that never came to pass (And you know why gM!) so here it is in its written form. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Like to hear it, here it go:

The 12 Days of A Nesian Rugby Christmas
Sung to the tune of "The 12 Days of Christmas"

On the first day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
a king sized can of corned beef.

On the second day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Two taro plants,
And a king sized can of corned beef.

On the third day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Three World Cup Dramas,
Two taro plants,
And a king sized can of corned beef.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Four Ta Moko,
Three World Cup Dramas,
Two taro plants,
And a king sized can of corned beef.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Five first five eights,
Four Ta Moko,
Three World Cup Dramas,
Two taro plants,
And a king sized can of corned beef.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Six bad dye jobs,
Five first five eights,
Four Ta Moko,
Three World Cup Dramas,
Two taro plants,
And a king sized can of corned beef.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Seven white women,
Six bad dye jobs,
Five first five eights,
Four Ta Moko,
Three World Cup Dramas,
Two taro plants,
And a king sized can of corned beef.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Eight All Blacks whining,
Seven white women,
Six bad dye jobs,
Five first five eights,
Four Ta Moko,
Three World Cup Dramas,
Two taro plants,
And a king sized can of corned beef.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Nine Tongans fighting,
Eight All Blacks whining,
Seven white women,
Six bad dye jobs,
Five first five eights,
Four Ta Moko,
Three World Cup Dramas,
Two taro plants,
And a king sized can of corned beef.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Ten cocky Samoans,
Nine Tongans fighting,
Eight All Blacks whining,
Seven white women,
Six bad dye jobs,
Five first five eights,
Four Ta Moko,
Three World Cup Dramas,
Two taro plants,
And a king sized can of corned beef.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Eleven Fijians flying,
Ten cocky Samoans,
Nine Tongans fighting,
Eight All Blacks whining,
Seven white women,
Six bad dye jobs,
Five first five eights,
Four Ta Moko,
Three World Cup Dramas,
Two taro plants,
And a king sized can of corned beef.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Twelve sex scandals,
Eleven Fijians flying,
Ten cocky Samoans,
Nine Tongans fighting,
Eight All Blacks whining,
Seven white women,
Six bad dye jobs,
Five first five eights,
Four Ta Moko,
Three World Cup Dramas,
Two taro plants,
And a king sized can of corned beef!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Smooches,
Glamour Diva

Ignacio Corletto

Dieux Du Stade 2008 Calendar Boys

What is the semi-nude rugby player doing? Posing for a dirty French rugby calendar...DUH!Wishing he'd never responded to Mistress Spank's personal ad.Contemplating the universe and his place in it.He's taken Erasure's advice and broken those chains of love.Wondering if he's the only player tricked into doing this for student loan repayment. Current Results

Well. . .I suppose the good folks down in Welly finally heard ya girls!
Had we not been saying these blokes needed a calendar? Well, now they have one. . .at least, the Wellington Hurricanes do. . .it’s called “Men of the Den” and it promises to show Hurricanes players in “a whole different light”. . .

Whatever the hell that means? Strobe light? Artificial light? Florescent light?

From the teaser pics on the official Hurricanes sight, just looks like your average garden variety photos lifted from Getty Images BUT, the calendar claims to be designed, developed and produced (who knew those boys could manage such lofty endeavors) by the players.

gM supposes it’s a good start BUT, until they get naked avec les bon hommes du Stade*, well, she ain’t sending her hard-earned US (currently underperforming) cash to Kiwi land!

Check it fo’ yoself!

*Sorry if I fcuked that up, Chou Chou

copyright 2007. . .galaxyMafia

I'm sure I'm going to piss off quite a few people with this entry but I don't care. Like to hear it, here it go:

It's my baby mama (yeanknow) I want child support
She get boyfriend checks, but I stay in court
It's my baby mama (yeanknow) she be ridin' Cady
And she always lookin' for sugar daddies
It's my baby daddy (yeanknow) he be always broke
And he aint no good nothin', but a joke
It's my baby daddy (yeanknow) he just love to have it
He be cheatin' on me that's why I can't stand em'
Baby Mama – Three 6 Mafia

I shouldn't have loved him
I shouldn't have wanted him
I shouldn't have trusted him
No I shouldn't have fucked him
Now here I am carryin’ his seed
That makes two for him and a fourth for me
Baby Daddy – Queen Pen

Well Dear Readers if you haven’t heard by now then you must live under a rock or else maybe you just don’t give a damn about rugby but the secret is out, along with the placenta – Jerry Collins is a daddy! They don’t call him “The Hit Man” for nothing right?

Tabloids all over the rugby-crazed world are chomping at the bit about the hush-hush “Love Child” (Honestly, who under the age of 60 uses that phrase anymore?) that reared its chubby cheeked, squinty-eyed, bald head over the weekend. The Paparazzi were all up in the baby mama’s face asking her all sorts of impertinent questions and, ya know, I feel her pain. Peeps have been blowin’ up The Sushi Girls™ email with questions and more questions about the 411 on JC, his bundle of joy and the woman who birthed it! So to stem the flow of questions before it reaches tsunami proportions, I’ve decided to break my Holiday silence and let the whole world know the scoop…wait for it…THERE…IS…NONE!

Our New Zealand source’s lips are clamped tighter than Dick Cheney’s hands on his chest during heart attack number ten! In fact the only information I could get is from a Cook Island source that confirms JC is currently spending a few days in Rarotonga. I can’t corroborate what, if anything, Mr. Collins is doing in Rarotonga but I can only assume it involves alcohol, white women and plenty of music, most assuredly of the Hip-Hop variety. Maybe he’ll spend some quality time getting his boogie and booze on at Epalahame Lauaki’s baby mama’s club ? The world, or at least most people outside the South Pacific, may never know.

But all this not talking got your girl thinking (‘cause you know that’s what I do), anyone trying this hard not to say anything must have something worth keeping secret. I mean, a baby can’t be kept secret for very long but other life altering events sure as hell can! So in lieu of any real information Ms. GD has the next best thing – conjecture!

I’ve divined it! Next year, towards the end of Super 14, look for Mr. Collins to do a complete 180 on his position to stay in NZ by announcing his decision to move to Great Britain to continue his rugby career as well as to be closer to his child. Or keep watch for a young, “pommie” accented young woman and an…interesting…looking baby making appearances all over NZ with JC. Honestly, even with all his whoring around I don’t think Jerry is the type of guy to live too far away from his child for too long. This child is Mama and Papa Collins’ first grandbaby, at least from him, so you know his God-fearing parents have given him an earful about what is expected of him! Personally I feel it’s a matter of closing the gate after the bull has gotten loose but hey, who the fuck am I to judge?

Actually I think I will judge because I’m sick and tired of men and women the world over fucking without a damn condom and/or birth control and haphazardly bringing babies into the world and spreading diseases, sometimes simultaneously! This is basic shit here people! Yes people are living longer than ever with the AIDS virus but it’s still AIDS you jackasses! And AIDS isn’t the only STD out there; many of these diseases will stay with you for the rest of your life! Many diseases are becoming more and more resistant to drugs making previously curable ailments more difficult to subdue! And what about the ethics of all the rampant baby making? And why is she the English skank and Jerry is still clean as a whistle? Why are the people in NZ so willing to condemn Leon MacDonald for drinking out of the milk carton but keep mum on Jerry spreading his seed unabated? I don’t care if you didn't set out to be a role model Mr. Collins - you are one now and your inability to practice safe sex says more about your character than any  "live your dreams" speech to local rugby youth could ever say!

And what of this woman? Sigh…ladies…ladies…I swear the next time I hear a woman whine about what some man did to her I will grab her by the lapels and shake her until her head pops off! People, and men are people (no really they are!), only get away with what you let them and she agreed to fuck him without a condom! Sure I know condoms break and she could very well be in that 1% that still manages to get pregnant while using birth control but come on people! I mean Jerry is fine but ain’t nobody THAT hot to damn death! GIRL WHAT DID HE SAY TO YOU? Tell me so I can copyright that shit and make a packet off it!

And before you say it, yes I read the article and I think it’s great he’s supporting mama and baby but ya know, he ain’t doing shit but what he’s supposed to do! Men who financially support their children get no applause from me! You don’t celebrate when a salmon manages to swim upstream right? Dear Readers, I respect Mr. Collins and everyone like him who have overcome poverty and other struggles to become the great citizens they are today but I ask you, where do we draw the line?

Fuck it. It’s getting late and if none of ya’ll give a good gotdamn then why the hell should I right?

Play On Playas…Play On Playettes…

Until next time Dear Readers!

Smooches,
Glamour Diva

Don't be shy Dear Readers! If you have any gossip on any rugby player by all means drop us an email at rugbygossip@yahoo.com or Bebo and let us know. We don't discriminate, we'll take gossip on any player from any part of the world. Don't let the gossip die people!

Way, way last month. . .in a tiny Pacifc island renamed (by bloody thievin' colonists) New Zealand. . .




copyright 2007. . .galaxyMafia

copyright 2007

Dieux Du Stade 2008 Calendar Boys

Why are the naked rugby players wrestling? One of them got chocolate in the other's peanut butter.The loser pays off the winner's student loans.They're re-enacting the Battle of Trafalgar.Shooting an instructional video on the finer points of rucking and mauling.Unsuccessfully hiding the fact that they're using the photo shoot to secretly cop a feel. Current Results

Smooches,

. . .but it is a whole heap o' Tongans!!!

Check out gM's future in-laws. . .Mama and Papa Lauaki (down front) plus the ten kids!


copyright 2007. . .gM will have more pics of tha Lauaki crew later. . .and keep 'em in your prayers because they're all headed to Tonga for Christmas!! And much thx to my sister-in-law Margaret for these photos. . .don't ya love that tapa cloth background???

Apparently, Ma’a Nonu is doing some good works.

The PTB down in Kiwi-land have decided to go on the offense and proactively provide an avenue to help young people cope with depression. galaxyMafia gives them kudos for addressing this problem, which is probably widespread. Who wouldn’t be depressed if they had to live on a little island in the Pacific with a huge problem of self-deluded isolationism? The fact that New Zealand actually exists on this planet is enough to make gM take to her bed but, she digresses. . .

Anyway, the website is www.thelowdown.co.nz and through testimonials from various famous folk – God forbid some teenager should seek help from his/her youth pastor or parent – it hopes to encourage kids to talk about their depression, yadda, yadda, yadda.

(personally, gM thinks this type of “celebrity altruism” is vainglorious and used as a platform for self-promotion for artists but the PTB need to be able to say, “Hey, we tried to help little Lelani!”)

Anyhoo, this may be of interest to you if you are 1) a depressed Kiwi teen or 2) foaming at the mouth over Ma’a Nonu, who was chosen as a “celeb” (and they use the term generously) to give the young folk some tips on fighting depression.

To his credit, Ma’a claims to have many family members who have been stricken with depression. His advice? “Spend time with your family members and friends. . .it’s important to be happy.”

The Nonu goes on to say he’s been though some tough times, playing rugby – getting fat, not getting picked for the RWC team, discovering eyeliner while recovering from a broken thumb, having women throw themselves at him for no other reason than he’s The Nonu and he plays rugby – and he encourages kids to “spend time with ya mates and ya close ones”. It is important, he claims, to “feel free to talk to someone you love”.

The Nonu says rugby is a “tough game” and admits there are times when the boys are “shy about being in trouble” – that is, when they don’t want you b!tches to know they cry in the dark in the fetal position. He says in the past he has tried to endure the crushing pain of depression alone, alas, that is not the answer.

“Dig deep,” The Nonu exhorts. “Because you have your own talents. . .”

As opposed to having someone else’s talents. . .?

Clearly, he was coached extensively and was probably given a cue card but, The Nonu pulled it off. galaxyMafia is not sure if his little Easter speech will keep some bloke from blowing his brains out – indeed, it just might have the opposite effect as watching The Nonu give advice might prove there really is no need to go on – but, he managed to pull it off, and look damn good doing it and at the end of the day, that’s all that matters anyway, right. . .?

Copyright 2007. . .galaxMafia’s tip for depression: Check out To’ofiga’s speech in Samoan!! If that don’t cheer you up then just kill yourself!

Dieux Du Stade 2008 Calendar Boys

What is the wet, naked rugby player doing? He's doing precisely what the photographer told him to do...pervert!Isn't it obvious? He's using the statue to pleasure himself for my amusement!He's doing calculus in his head.He's regretting he agreed to do this to pay off his student loans.He's thinking of me of course! Current Results

Smooches,

Ms. GD

Ms. GD is back with some super gossip for all her super Dear Readers! Because this is very special, scandalous gossip she has decided to write it in the form of a fairy tale. So sit back and enjoy the tale of a king who might one day lose his queen (Who by all accounts still has that new car smell) if he doesn’t learn to keep his regal penis in his sovereign pants…

We know…you guess…

So I creep yeah
Just keep it on the down low
Said nobody is supposed to know
So I creep yeah
'Cause [S]he doesn't know
What I do and no attention
Goes to show oh so I creep
Creep – TLC

Once upon a time (May 2007 to be exact), in a land far, far, away (The Land of the Rising Sun to be even more exact), there was a tournament held for former All Blacks to relive their glory days and test their mettle against younger, better conditioned, non-busted up and broke down players.

And at that time, in that far away land, at that irksome tournament, there was in attendance a certain “King”. Now this king was not a true king at all but just a lowly commoner who’d been given the honorific title because of his feats of daring do on the pitch and his long and faithful service to his homeland and the game of rugby. In fact, the only attribute he shared with a true king was his unusual first name and the kingly habit of feeling entitled to getting whatever his little heart desired whenever his little heart desired it. But I get ahead of myself…

One night, after a difficult day spent toiling on the pitch (You know the old grey stallion, he ain’t what he used to be…), the king decided to spend the evening with his teammates at a local public house in a quaint little thriving, pulsating metropolis called Tokyo. While fellowshipping with his cronies (And by “fellowshipping” I mean picking up girls) the king noticed a beautiful young woman entering the establishment. Now this was not the beautiful young woman he’d been married to since 2005 but a different, more exotic beautiful young woman he’d never seen before. The king was so taken with this lovely creature that be proceeded to openly stare at her as she made her way about the local drinking establishment.

Little did he know that the exotically beautiful young woman was actually a Princess in disguise and had absolutely no interest in a married man who all but flaunted his low birth by gaping at her all night long like a bug-eyed trout freshly netted from a lake! Now even a Princess has to head to the Ladies Room on occasion (She’s royal but still human you know!) but unfortunately, the king saw this as a chance to make his move. He cornered her outside the WC and proceeded to hand her a note, which read:

“The King”
Room 12XX
Blank Hotel

The Princess was, of course, mightily insulted but because she was in fact a Princess of the highest breeding she did not strike him across his face with her glove and call him a bounder and a ridiculous oaf for confusing her royal carriage with that of common Oiran! No, instead she hesitantly accepted the note, bowed gracefully (As is the custom in her land) and entered the restroom while silently cursing him in the most beautiful, grammatically correct and formal Japanese her injured soul could muster.

Upon exiting the Ladies Lounge the Princess was distressed to see the king still standing there, apparently awaiting her imminent reemergence. The king, who obviously could not afford to buy a clue, took it upon himself to speak to the Princes but by then she was so insulted that she could not speak and quickly left the pub, distressed that her night on the town had been ruined by the village idiot in royal robes.

Later that week she began to feel very sorry for the way she’d treated the king because she was, after all, a Princess and he was, after all, a dullard. But then one of her ladies in waiting informed her that the king had passed the same note to several different women after her departure! This made her feel less upset about her own behavior and more secure in her earlier assessment that a faithful and honorable professional athlete is a rare bird indeed.

The End

Negative turns to positive
If it's wrong do the opposite
What doesn't kill only makes you strong
Hustle hard and keep grinding on

'Cause I'm too blessed to be stressed
And I'm too fresh to be pressed

There's so much going on today
But I can't let it worry me
'Cause I'm too blessed to be stressed
Too Blessed - Kevin Michael

Another Thanksgiving is upon us and it’s looking and feeling very much like the last one. I won’t go into my feelings about celebrating this day but if you want to read what I wrote last year you may click here. The only thing I’ll say about it now is that today, for every American family partaking of turkey (liquid or fowl) there’s another Native American family in mourning. Having said that, let’s move on to the point of tonight’s entry…

I was going to write an entry about the pecking order of Polynesians called The Polynesian Hierarchy but I knew it was doomed when I realized the opening quote I’d picked was from George Orwell’s Animal Farm - ALL ANIMALS ARE EQUAL, BUT SOME ANIMALS ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS. Right. Like any of my Dear Readers gives a damn about George Orwell! No one cares about anything even remotely academic or political so why keep beating my head against the rugby wall? All our current Dear Readers care about is rugby and unfortunately I am currently not feeling it.

I think about some of the things I used to write about before I got tangled up in all this rugby and rugby podcasting stuff and I can’t help but wonder what the hell happened! I used to be really interested in the world and so introspective but now I just feel like one of those stupid girls I rag on all the time. I can’t take it. I need a break from all the silly! If I’m going to spend up to 16 weeks (Can Wellington make it all the way?) of my life covering Super 14 next year I need to take some time and regroup. You know, fortify myself for the upcoming foolishness.

Believe it or not Ms. GD has things to do like re-read Leaves of Grass, record poetry for Librivox, catch up on my Bollywood movies and watch old school Christmas specials like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and A Charlie Brown Christmas. So from now until February I’ll be doing my own thing in precisely the way I want to do it. But don’t despair, I’ll be silently lurking in the background, ready to pounce on any juicy gossip you might have. In fact, I’ve made a new email home just for rugby themed gossip: rugbygossip@yahoo.com. So save that address and keep it handy!

Okay…there’s a glass of chilled Sauvignon Blanc and a slice of homemade carrot cake waiting for me. Enjoy your winter holidays (Our Summer holidays if you live below the equator) and try not to eat too much or you’ll have nightmares. Bye!

Smooches,
Ms. GD

Well. . .the 'Nesians are continually besotted with white women, and that's okay; as gM says, ". . .if they like it, I love it!" However, many of you have wondered, as good-looking as these blokes are, why can't they afford the luxury of a decent looking white woman. . .?

Never fear. . .galaxyMafia has decided to find the perfect white woman for our beloved 'Nesians and YOU can help. (If she doesn't get bored with this), every now and again, galaxyMafia will present "white woman" alternatives for the 'Nesian man, and hopefully, tha n!ggas will catch a clue. . .

Without further ado about nothing at all, we'll start with one of your faves, Mr. Lome Fa'atau. . .

Mr. Fa'atau, a proud Samoan born in Wellington, formely of the Wellington Lions/Hurricanes, now schlepping in Scotland, seems to be currently attached to a woman we'll call. . .let's see. . .RACHEL!

Rachel must have, as Ms. GD would say, "a trick pelvis" because how this ghostly, ghastly woman snagged Lome is beyond the scope of even the most ardent human comprehension.

Well, Lome. . .as Beyonce would say, "Part'na lemme upgrade ya!"

So. . .let us know who Lome should UPGRADE to. . .





LOME + CAMERON = LOMERON



LOME + JENNIFER = LENNIFER



LOME + KATE = LATE

copyright 2007. . .galaxyMafia. . .personally thinks he looks cutest with Kate. . .

Well. . .it's official.

galaxyMafia will be a stepmom and have, potentially, baby mama drama.

Sione does in fact have a "wee nub"!! Wax's sister Ive (her real name is Margaret)confirmed this AND galaxyMafia has the pictures (from Ive) to prove it!!

My stepson-to-be is named after his uncle Epalahame (God only knows why)!!

So. . .without further ado, here's EPALAHAME LAUAKI JR!!!!!! (and daddy Sione)!


copyright 2007. . .galaxyMafia hopes she isn't telling someone something they already knew and didn't bother to tell her!!

Going to the chapel
And we're gonna get married
Going to the chapel
And we're gonna get married

Gee I really love you
And we're gonna get married
Going to the chapel of love
Chapel Of Love - The Dixie Cups

Love...exciting and new...

Looks like Jimmy "Miss A Kick" Gopperth is making it official with his Honey Bunny this very afternoon (Seriously, like as I type)! The couple has planned a wonderful and romantic wedding on the islet of Koromiri in the Cook Islands. Guests in attendance include his teammates Ma'a Nonu, Piri Weepu, Tamati Ellison, and Jerome Kaino.

Congratulations young Jim! May your love last longer then there are stars in the heavens and may you and your new Bride share all the happiness this world has to offer!

Until next time Dear Readers...

Smooches,
Ms. GD

DISCLAIMER: The following brain teaser was created, formulated, and originated by Ms. Glamour Diva. galaxyMafia is so totally stealing this idea - which belongs to Ms. GD - because, right about now, she's feeling like a lazy tool.

Can you guess the identity of the rugby players pictured with each white woman? Hint: One player is from France and another plays Rugby League! 

This article is a little old but while I was looking for interesting stories and gossip, I ran across it instead. 

Can you guess the 'Nesian rugby players pictured with each white woman?

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

It's so UNFAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

See how pretty my little Blongan children could have been!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my sweet Blongan children that won't be born because their would-be daddy is a cabron!

Well. . .you'll stay in Heaven and I'll see ya when I get there. . .



















copyright 2007. . .galaxyMafia will now twist herself into the fetal position and weep bitter, angry tears. . .for a minute or two, then she's gonna go get a chocolate Frosty from Wendy's!

Another week…another chance to spread the gossip! This week’s COT features an all Tongan cast of busters, er I mean characters, so because this is such a special event I’ve decided to sing a song (Those of you who've listened to our Rugby World Cup podcasts may recognize the tune) – It’s Tonga Time…It’s time for the Tongans…It’s Tonga Tiiiiiiiime…Oooooooooo weeeeelllllll! Don your manafau, dance the lakalaka and God save the King! Ooooohhhhhhh yeaaaaaaah! [That was for you gM!]

We know…you guess…

Blind Item One

I cheated myself
Like I knew I would
I told ya, I was trouble
You know that I'm no good
You Know I’m No Good – Amy Winehouse

Confirmed – ‘Nesians, like men of color world wide, love themselves some white women and Tongans are no exception! Word on the street is that this player, who did such a fabulous job on Tonga’s World Cup squad, has a penchant for blondes and gold fillings (Yes I said “fillings”, like what you put in your teeth to fill a cavity). But of course rumor also has it that while he favors the fair, Caucasian sisters he still likes to keep it thugy with plenty of ride or die bitches, I assume of the white and ‘Nesian variety. But don’t despair, it’s also rumored that the brother knows his way around a vagina so if you’re ghetto, white and have gold fillings then you’re in like Flynn! I bet he must be losing his ever-loving mind in Japan. Not many natural blondes there but if anyone can find them it will definitely be our boy! Hmmm…wonder what his wife thinks about his um…hobby?

Blind Item Two

They call me the Superman lover, yeah
I said they call me the Superman lover, yeah
But somethings wrong
Something is wrong with me you see
Superman Lover – Johnny “Guitar” Watson

This brother was so deep undercover that our sources had a hard time finding any information on him but when they finally got some – boy howdy! – was it ever funny! Let me say first off that I never thought this guy was a virgin. I never thought any of these guys were virgins but there was just something about this tall, handsome Tongan that made me think he wouldn’t be quite the ginormous ho his peers seem to be. Now I haven’t gotten a full report yet but when I get more particulars like performance level and penis size I’ll be sure to pass those tidbits on to you my Dear Readers!

According to my source our mystery, 100% pure Tongan, paid an evening visit to a sweet young thang in Hamilton. Now visiting a willing partner at her home with the intent to fuck isn’t an unusual occurrence but visiting her at the home she shares with her flat mates with the intent to fuck…while the flat mates are still in the flat…is pretty damn bold and kind of skanky (for her and him) if ya ask me! Or maybe Ms GD is just old fashioned? Or maybe that’s how they roll in NZ? Anyway, action takes place and, I assume, both partners were fully satiated. On his way out the player in question made a monumental error in judgment when he decided to quip, again in front of his host’s flat mates – wait for it Dear Readers…

“You just got served.”

Who fuckin’ says that? Seriously people, WHO? Not even in jest would I proclaim such a thing to someone I’d just randomly fucked! Especially not in front of witnesses! Either this guy is supremely overconfident in his abilities or he’s just plan stupid! If it were the latter then he would be well advised to stay away from the spur of the moment witticisms because they only make you look dumber, particularly if you can’t even spell wit. Good Lord son, where is your dignity?

And In The News…

I’ve reached the conclusion that there has to be something, some sort of mystery pollutant, in the Hamilton air that makes rugby players act a damn fool. First Sione Lauaki got hemmed up for knockin’ folk upside the head then Sitiveni Sivivatu slapped the hell out of his wife and now Sosene "Broke Neck" Anesi is getting into altercations all up and down the street! Hmmm...something tells me there was a white woman involved. As the French say, Cherchez la femme!

Now granted, Mr. Anesi is only half Tongan, the other half being Samoan, but I say that just makes it worse! When you add the Tongan predilection for putting foot to ass to the Samoan superiority complex plus whatever magic spell is currently hovering over Hamilton, well I’m surprised Prime Minister Helen Clark hasn’t already called for a state of emergency!

And I know you’re saying, oh Glamour Diva you’re wrong for that, but I’m not the only one who’s noticed this. Auckland knows it too, which is why when Lauaki and Mils Muliaina started acting out they got their asses unceremoniously dumped in Hamilton! If Ali Williams hadn’t gotten his shit together when he did and Doug Howlett hadn’t been leaving for Ireland, I bet you they would have found themselves in Waikato like all the other rejects! I really do think there’s some sort of invisible containment field around that city ya’ll!

But then maybe these guys are just so bored (If the town is anything like the rugby union then who can blame them?) that the only thing they can think to do is start fights with family, friends and complete strangers? If that is indeed the case then I say God bless’em!

Correction - In the original edit Ms. GD erroneously stated that Sosene "Broke Neck" Anesi is half Tongan and half Samoan. Mr. Anesi is in fact 100% pure Samoan. It is Ben Atiga who is half and half! Ms. GD always gets these two confused but she stands by her original assertion that something is indeed rotten in Hamilton and that a Tongan-Samoan mix is still a potentially catastrophic concoction! Let's hope Mr. Atiga keeps his nose clean in Auckland or else he'll find himself sitting in a new post code...

Until next time Dear Readers!

Smooches,
Glamour Diva

Don't be shy Dear Readers! If you have any gossip on any rugby player by all means drop us an email on yahoo or Bebo and let us know. We don't discriminate, we'll take gossip on any player from any part of the world. Don't let the gossip die people!

Warning Signs

One day, it’s “I changed my mind”
The next day, “You make me sick”
Don’t like my choices
Can’t make the decision stick
And deep in my heart,
I don’t care that he’s fat
I see his pics, and I say
“I wanna climb on that”
And I know you’re his girl
You’re gonna be his wife
Hey, sweetie, don’t trip, don’t pull no knife
I’m too far away to cause any strife
Yeah, bitch, you have a reason to smile
A reason to be glad for the miles
Between me and him
If not for that ocean, your chances would be slim
You’d have to watch ya back, ‘cause I’d be like the grim
Reaper, detonating your relationship, ripping it apart
I’d pry open your hand, snatch away his heart
But for right now, don’t worry
I really ain’t in no hurry
To get to NZ but, you never know
So don’t be a silly ho
Put tha n!gga on lock, and swallow the key
Cause if I come down there
He’ll be all on me
And you’ll wonder why,
And all you’ll do is cry
Be on suicide watch, wanting to die
And you won’t believe it, won’t understand
How I walked in ya house, and stole ya man
So you got him right now
But you don’t get a gold star
He’d be with galaxyMafia
If she weren’t so far. . .
. . .above him. . .

copyright 2007. . .galaxyMafia asks that you please not take this to heart. . .she was bored at her computer and didn't have sh!t else to do. . .she is NOT trying to take Neemia from "Sally"; galaxyMafia is a nice Southen girl and she is willing to share. . .

In this episode The Sushi Girls™ wave bye-bye as they say, “Don’t let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya”, to The Rugby World Cup! Squirm with excitement as your girls: discuss their “Best and Worst” of the RWC, share their thoughts and feelings about the tournament and it’s outcome, ponder the future of South African rugby in its current post-Apartheid form, consider more life lessons from Michael Strahan, delight in galaxyMafia’s final match report – celebrity voices included, tackle the upsurge in gossip and what it takes to keep a gossip source satisfied and secure, play “Wife, Mistress or Baby Mama”, weep for the very last “Sione Time” (and the last time Glamour Diva get’s to sing the theme song) and much, much more!

Podcast Further Information

Hedonism Resorts

Inside the Helmet: Life as a Sunday Afternoon Warrior – Michael Strahan

Articles mentioned in the podcast can he found here.

Shania Twain – You're Still The One


Nina Simone – My Baby Just Cares For Me


Now without further ado, this week's podcast…

Warning: this podcast is definitely NOT SAFE FOR WORK so download our foolishness at your peril…

RWC Wrap Up Show – Commentary recorded October 29, 2007

Hate it or love it we want to hear from YOU! Send all your complements, questions, suggestions, and complaints to Ms. GD and GM at the_sushi_diaries@yahoo.com. If we really dig your comments we’ll give you a shout out during the next podcast!

Smooches,
Glamour Diva and galaxyMafia

Yes we are foolishly trying this interactive crap AGAIN so you can bloody well be part of the damn podcast!  This is our last show until Super 14 rears it's perfectly coiffed head  in February 2008 so don't be lame Dear Ones and give us some electronic support! This Monday (October 29) at 7:05 pm Central Standard Time we will open up the chat lines...again, the email lines...again, and the Skype lines...again...to anyone who gives a damn! Woo-freakin-hoo...again. So if you aren't too busy with your fabulous lives please do join us won't you?

Email: the_sushi_diaries@yahoo.com
Yahoo! ID: the_sushi_diaries
Skype (Internet call or chat): misssakamoto

Time Conversions
7:05pm CST=
12:05:00 a.m. Tuesday October 30 in Greenwich Mean Time (GMT)
02:05:00 a.m. Tuesday October 30 in Johannesburg
08:05:00 a.m. Tuesday October 30 in Hong Kong
11:05:00 a.m. Tuesday October 30 in Sydney
01:05:00 p.m. Monday October 29 in Samoa

Smooches,
Glamour Diva and galaxyMafia

"Death of a Crush"

Crushes lie
so this crush must die
and I might feel stupid
but I will say goodbye
just can't handle it
that dumb nigga shit
you're full of it
now i wanna spit
in your face
don't let me catch you in the street
you'll be without a trace
like what I felt for you
used to be like glue - stuck on you
you had no clue
but that's okay
it's a brighter day
for me
because I see
what you're not
wipe you away like snot
and i'm glad i finally know
you're not good enough for my show
you can't play that role
because you have no soul
low-down, you're so cold
and stupid
you'll never be smart
can't talk to you about
politics, religion, art
why was it you
I wanted to [heart]
that's true, I confess
but no more - you're a hot mess
weary, wicked nigga, you get no rest
maybe she did get "served"
but you deserve
your heart ripped outta your chest
you ink-addicted, masochistic freak
you need to be more meek
and humble
before you stumble
dumb ass fool
such a tool
you wanna be a teacher
nigga, I'll take you to school
here's the first lesson, learn this. . .
my aim is deadly
and galaxyMafia don't miss!

copyright 2007

Seriously...we need an intervention in New Zealand ya'll! Is alcoholism a national problem? I can't believe they don't have AA or some sort of twelve step program in effect there. Or maybe they just make the Polynesians attend the meetings because as everyone knows, "'Nesians can't hold their grog". Looks like the Pakehas aren't much better. Full story here.

This has been a banner week for rugby gossip Dear Readers! So many thrills, spills and chills I thought I might slip and break my hip if I didn’t keep my wits about me! In fact, it got so crazy I had to take to my bed! Okay so I was having a back spasm and was filled to the brim with ibuprofen and muscle relaxers but I really was shocked by some of the things I heard! So let’s start where we left off last week and tie up a few loose ends before we get to the super juicy parts. Shall we?

We know…you guess…

Blind Item One

Have you ever seen a dude who's stupid and rude
Whenever he's around he dogs your mood
I know a guy like that, girl
He thinks he's god's gift to the world
Tramp – Salt N Pepa

So you’ll remember last week, in Blind Item Three, I told you about that poor, poor rugby beauty who is so badly used and abused by his hangers on? [Just smell the sarcasm people!] Well looks like he’s even more of an ass then previously thought. Is that shit even possible?!? Anyway, a few weeks ago this player, who henceforth shall be referred to as “Dumb Fuck”, received an email from a young fan stating how much the boy idolized him. Well the young pup waited for Dumb Fuck after one of his games and let’s just say Mean Joe Greene (See the famous commercial here) would not be happy with the outcome!

The little one’s papa was so incensed that he sent the email and a detailed breakdown of the diss to NZ’s national rugby program who in turn read it LIVE over the air. They then proceeded to apologize for Dumb Fuck’s bad behavior by saying he didn’t have time to talk to the lad because he had an interview to get to rapidement. Right. And I’m a very tall, thin, white woman with long, blond hair. So what became of all the kerfuffle? The little boy got a signed jersey from Dumb Fuck and Dumb Fuck was made to look like a saint in the media for a while. Yes that’s it Dear Readers. No fines. No forced community service. Not even a stern talking too! Just the same old shit on a different day. I swear if he weren’t so pretty I’d bust him in his eye! Seriously, just smack the dimples clean off his face! Sigh…

Blind Item Two

Now take a look at me
You see I’m feeling ire
You see I found my soul
And pulled it off the shelf
And I’m not going back
And bet that’s a fact
I’m going straight ahead
And I’m livin’ ‘til I’m dead
[Free Yourself] Yes you can now
[Free Yourself] Like I did
[Free Yourself] Be a man boy
Free Yourself
Free Yourself – The Untouchables

When I heard this next piece of tittle-tattle I was shocked but not in the way you might think. You see I love a good sex scandal but I love a good GAY sex scandal even more! And when it involves big, strapping, hot rugby players then well, I’m just fucking ecstatic! Come on! How often does this happen? Like, never right? But unfortunately this tidbit is missing the “hot” part. Oh he’s big and strapping Dear Readers just not what you’d call cute. Well, certainly not what I’d call cute! Bleeeeech! Anyway, sources say this embattled player is as well known for his frequent forays into Bisexuality – not that there’s anything wrong with that – as he is for taking frequent and plentiful “nips of courage”.

Now Ms. GD isn’t judging because as you know, I like girls just as much as he apparently likes boys (and booze) but the difference is that I’m not a closeted rugby player! No your girl came crashing out of the closet years ago and continues to resist all efforts to be shoved back in. But I understand that the world of sport, and indeed the world, is not as understanding as I am so, Player X if you’re reading this baby, I support you in all that you do and in all that you are! One day soon being bisexual and a rugby player won’t seem so oxymoronic and hopefully we’ll both still be alive to experience that day. Now if we can just keep you off the damn sauce…

Blind Item Three

Moonlight Lovin'
The stars will never tell
Of the rendezvous of me and you and you
Moonlight Lovin'
Is not a wishing well
But all of your fantasies come true
Ménage À Trois
Ménage À Trois
Ménage À Trois
It’s time to discover love’s generosity
Uninhibited lovers
Like one, two, three
Moonlight Lovin' (Ménage À Trois) – Isaac Hayes

You’ll remember in Episode 1 I told you about the mystery All Black who had compromising pictures of himself taken by a woman who joined him…and another women…in Christchurch for an evening of wild sex? Well that player is no longer a mystery and Rose, it ain’t who you thought it was. In fact it’s someone even better! Someone so much better that it makes that crazy 4 out of 10 rating that trainee extortionist gave him all the more unbelievable. And even more unbelievable is the fact that this guy would even have to advertise for women to have a threesome with in the first damn place! As I remarked to my source, there are women who would fight gladiator style in the Thunder Dome just for the chance to see his pee pee!

As galaxyMafia and I have screamed time and time again, he better be glad he doesn’t live in the United States because there would be a sex tape, photographs and affidavits from his last fifty sex partners as well as the whole world critiquing his performance and not just some small time hustler wannabe! How he dodged that bullet I’ll never know. Maybe he prayed that Francis Xavier would intercede on his behalf? I say he should have prayed to Mary of Edessa and his right hand before getting involved in all these sexual shenanigans in the first place! Or maybe his black jersey is made of a special Teflon/polyester blend? I think he should call the Archbishop of Wellington and get a re-up on his rosary just in case…

Bloody amateurs!

Until next time Dear Readers...

Smooches,
Glamour Diva

copyright 2007. . .galaxyMafia